30:00-1:00:00
GUS: And I fucking love soccer.
JACK: Do you really?
GUS: Yes.
JOEL: The thing that is great about soccer- especially nowadays, right here now, is umm ... as an American, watching soccer is you’re really hoping for the soccer riot. To break out, right? That’s what we all want
JACK: I think Americans are too lazy to soccer riot though, that’s a lot of rioting.
JOEL: Well no, it’s like they- th- th- uh- Greek- uh Greece was playing Germany-
JACK: Mhm.
JOEL: In a tournament called the Euros, how ironic is that?
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: And it’s just like, this is great, this is- they’re gonna murder each other. This is just to watch and to just- it’s a powder keg.
BARB: I- I feel like soccer has the highest ratio of like, nothing happening but the most excitement.
GUS: Well that’s- that’s like the- it’s like the counterbalance, it’s like, you wait for that goal-
BARB: I guess.
GUS: -but when it happens, oh my God.
BARB: Oh my god yeah.
GUS: Fucking end of the world.
JOEL: If you like soccer then I don’t know why you don’t like rugby or Aussie rules football more...
GUS: I- I think I would like rugby, I just- there’s no easy way for me to watch it. And, I- like it’s hard to get started. Like soccer, I don’t watch it for a long time so that’s fine, I’ll- I’ll go out of my way to watch a soccer game. Rugby, there’s no easy access for me. So I can’t get started on it.
BARB: That’s true.
JOEL: Well you’re just not trying hard enough.
GUS: I’d love to watch Aussie rules football too.
BARB: But I feel like those are such different sports rugby and soccer, like that- that- those are not related.
GUS: Yeah, but they’re still sports, I’d watch them, I’m eh-
BARB: Do you watch hockey?
GUS: No. I’m not really into hockey. I’m also not really into basketball.
BARB: In my mind there’s no sport other than hockey.
JOEL: I’m not really-
GUS: What about basket- You played fucking basketball for six years Barbara.
BARB: I don’t like watching basketball.
GUS: But that-
JOEL: Here’s the problem with basketball, is that nobody, nobody, can figure out what is a foul and what’s not a foul.
BARB: I-
JACK: It’s true.
JOEL: No effin- sense.
BARB: Sometimes it works in your benefit.
GUS: Depends on who paid the ref more.
JOEL: And they say- and they say- it’s like there was that sixty minutes interview with the corrupt NBA referee-
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: -who was like ‘yeah I was cheating, I was fixing the games, I was calling on it. Yup, I was doing this for years.’ And it’s just like, oh, well, okay. This is the one guy they caught and I guess there’s no one else. It’s just like, y’know, y’know it’s out there, y’know it’s corrupt, y’know it’s easy to fix, you watch games, it doesn- there’s calls that just don’t make sense, its like. . . and it’s just like, that guy just appears and its like, okay whatever, don’t look at that guy, don’t pay attention to him, let’s just-
JACK: Well I’m- that’s any subjective thing, in any sport, like- I mean like-
JOEL: I-it’s true.
JACK: I mean, we’re at a point now like, especially, like baseball. Joel, you-you’ve gotten me into baseball now, after y’know- you’re a huge Ranger fan and now I’m like, okay I’ll start watching some games. But like, strike zones. How come strike zones can’t be like, laser judged or something like that?
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: We have the technology, and it’s like, y’know-
JOEL: They have to be.
JACK: Yeah! And its like- so- we have a consistent strike zone for every player cause really it’s just an Ump going “oh sorry” You know?
GUS: The- th- they- they’ll disguise it. I mean, they totally should.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: They won’t do it under the guise of “tradition”.
JACK: Yeah, ff-
JOEL: Screw that.
GUS: But, screw it.
JOEL: Screw that.
JACK: Exactly.
GUS: We have technology, we can improve it.
JACK: And like, you know what? Don’t touch it at like, lower levels. Like y’know- like, if you wanna play- y’know, like T-ball, sure, fine, keep e-everything the exact same up ‘till like college.
GUS: No. NO! The T-ball kids must buy the laser guided system. And the tomahawk missile.
JACK: But, a- a- at the point where it becomes professional sport, it really needs to be- like you need to have professional technology.
GUS: When you are paying athletes millions of dollars to pay- to play a game, you should invest in ways to improve their roles.
JOEL: The re- the reason why we like sports is because it’s action not words, and it’s not perception based. It’s you hit that line and you didn’t hit that line.
EVERYONE: Yeah.
Joel: And it’s just like, it should be that way.
BARB: Now you can solve this problem.
JACK: But then-
BARB: Watch hockey.
JACK: But then-
JOEL: Lasers could solve all of these problems.
JACK: But then you, it-it gets subjective y’know? Like, anytime you have subjectiveness in it y’know, because of a ref that, it just, it takes away from something.
JOEL: When we were uh- when we were gonna get the- d- d- d- do the thing on the radio, somebody on facebook was like, ‘I dare you to incorporate sports, video games and financial stuff into one thing’ and I talk-
JACK: I’m sure you-
BARB: Did you do it?
JOEL: Yeah! Like uh- Curt Schillings video game company went bankrupt.
BARB: Oh.
GUS: Man, in one sentence! In one sentence!
BARB: Wow.
JOEL: Like that week it was like-
BARB: That- that’s impressive.
JOEL: -he did that for me.
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: He bankrupt his company and now he owes the State like millions and millions of dollars cause he-
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: -got all his funding.
JACK: Their game was actually pretty good, the Kingdom of Amalur? Whatever, it was actually a pretty neat game.
GUS: Yeah I’ve heard it was really well received, really well reviewed.
JACK: But, I guess, I- I- don’t know how he got-
JOEL: It’s out?
JACK: Yeah it’s out. It’s been out for awhile but w-
JOEL: For the 360? Where-
GUS & JACK: Yeah.
JACK: But they just got it-
JOEL: So they released a game then went bankrupt?
JACK: Mmhmm.
BARB: That’s too bad.
JOEL: And nobody bought the game and it’s good?
JACK: I think they just- I think they got in debt trying to um- make the game and then they- it didn’t sell as well as they needed it to sell.
GUS: Plus, they were negotiating umm- the rights for the sequel and that- they were gonna look into secure money from a publisher-
JOEL: Uhuh.
GUS: -but then I guess, the- uh, the accusation now that Curt Schilling says is, the Governor of Rhode Island said- made statements about the financial standing of his company-
JOEL: Oh.
GUS: -so the publisher then got nervous and pulled out of the deal.
JOEL: Oooh.
GUS: So he didn’t get his money and-
JOEL: Ouch.
GUS: -the studio closed.
JOEL: That’s a ugly situation.
GUS: I- I get the feeling that he may file some kind of suit against the Governor or the State.
JOEL: Wow.
GUS: For talking about the finances of his company and screwing his deal and making his studio close.
JOEL: Man that sounds, umm, like a whole ugly situation right there.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: Yeah.
BARB: Yeah. Just the whole of it.
GUS: I heard that he’s- he- he put all of his personal money into it and he’s uh- he’s tapped, supposedly. Which is-
JOEL: No!
GUS: -which is sad, it’s awful.
JOEL: Really?
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: Gadzukes man.
JACK: Can he sell one of those bloody-
GUS: Supposedly, I mean- uhh- according to the books, he put like fifty million dollars out of pocket.
BARB: Holy-
JACK: Jesus.
BARB: -crap.
GUS: Into the company.
JACK: Can he sell one of those bloody socks for a couple million dollars? From the world series-
GUS: I forgot he did that.
JACK: Yeah.
BARB: I’m sure there’s people who would buy it,
JACK: I think- I think- uh- it’s in the baseball hall of fame as a matter of fact.
GUS: Yeah, that’s sad.
JOEL: And, kinda gross.
BARB: Just kinda.
GUS: Umm- okay. I- I got something I wanna say here. I wanna say thanks to bing.com for support of this podcast. Bingah. Umm- so you know we’re heading out to Pax in Seattle at the end of August, eh- like we do all the time and uh- one of the things I do here at Roosterteeth is I have to plan our travel. So uh, you can go to bing.com to plan a trip and I can tell you the Bing planning- bing.com/travel is like the best way to buy a plane ticket. We’ll talk more about that in a second.
JOEL: Yeah.
GUS: Uh, they’re not paying me to say that, that’s . . . that’s my personal belief but uh, so you can go to bing.com to plan the trip. You can uh- just enter Seattle, click search and check through the results. It-sh pulls up your flight selector and price predictor, which tells you- which predicts if the price of your ticket is gonna go up or down and it-
BARB: Oh my god.
GUS: -advises you on whether or not to buy or to wait.
BARB: Genius.
GUS: Which is awesome, we’ll talk more about that in a second too.
JOEL: It’s like a stock market.
GUS: Umm . . . so ya know, as I’ve been saying over the past few weeks, Bing’s gone social and it shows you what my- or it showed me what my Facebook friends like in Seattle as far as like hotels, restaurants, things like that and uh- y’know there are people I know on my Facebook list and uh- it can also surface people on Twitter to help get you more knowledge about your search and uh- so I just wanna say thanks to Bing for making my travel decision for Seattle easier. So uhm, check out Bing, try connecting your Bing account to Facebook and see how it brings together topics we can share. So thanks again to Bing for supporting Roosterteeth.
BARB: That’s awesome.
JACK: So you’re a big fan of their travel searches?
GUS: I’m a big fan. Off- this is off the sheet.
JACK: This is off- we are off the sheet.
JOEL: And I mean-
GUS: This is me talking.
JOEL: -if anyone is an expert on travelling it’s- it’s you.
GUS: That-
BARB: Yeah.
GUS: -that- that site they have that bing.com/travel, you can enter, you like there is cities, you can do multi-city, you- you can do very standard stuff for any- that any travel site will do but what- they do is, they search the prices on the airline site, they search the prices on travel sites like Orbitz, Travelocity, Expedia and then they’ll show you the price difference for all of them and you can pick which site you wanna book through.
JACK: Oh cool.
GUS: Uhm, it also has that price predictor, which tells you if the price is gonna go up or down and the percentage chance that it’ll go up or down.
BARB: Love those things.
JOEL: God, that is crazy.
GUS: It’s really a fucking phenomenal service.
JOEL: I wonder what some- y’know, mathematical formulas is behind- is behind some of that stuff.
GUS: I-I heard an interview with the guy who developed that system.
JOEL: Uh-huh.
GUS: Uhm, I guess he- he did not work for Microsoft, he was just developing this, like he was just collecting decades of flight data and prices and was just trending it all himself and then Microsoft found out about it and like, bought his company-
JOEL: Oooh.
GUS: -just to acquire all that data-
JOEL: That’s right, yeah, yeah.
GUS: -and that trending, then they incorporated it into the- the price predictor.
JACK: That’s cool.
JOEL: I love dudes like that. Who are just sort of like he-
GUS: He’s like-
JOEL: -he’s like either genius IPO guy or is he in his basement just like tracking all the-
GUS: It’s like he’s gonna build the mother of all spreadsheets.
JOEL: I just want all the information!
GUS: He’s either gonna be insane or rich.
BARB: Where is one place you wanna travel but you haven’t been yet?
JOEL: Uhh-
JACK: I know.
BARB: Where?
JACK: Australia.
BARB: Yeah?
JACK: I would love to go to Australia.
BARB: Gus?
JACK: And I’ve been passed over every goddamn time.
JOEL: We have a company policy that Jack is not allowed to go to Australia and we have this like, inside joke where it’s- we think it’s really funny but it’s like, who wants to go to Australia? Not Jack.
JACK: Hilarious.
GUS: This is the no Jack’s club.
JACK: Yeah.
BARB: They already have kangaroo Jack. They’re good to go.
JACK: Yeah, there’s one Jack already in there.
GUS: What about you Barbara?
BARB: I’ve never been to anywhere in Europe. So-
GUS: Really?
BARB: Yeah.
GUS: Oh, wow.
BARB: I’d like to go somewhere in-
JOEL: You know what? I lived there, but its been a long time since I’ve been there-
BARB: Yeah.
JOEL: -and I would really like to go back there and now I find myself- it’s like I wanna go back there before the whole thing blows up.
BARB: Where in Europe did you live?
JOEL: Uh, I live in Germany.
BARB: Okay.
JOEL: Yeah.
JACK: No, let it blow up and then everythings gonna get real cheap.
BARB: Yeah.
JOEL: That’s the- that’s- well that true-
BARB: And crispy.
JOEL: -and- and- I dunno. Also, it’s gonna be a third world-ish.
GUS: You- you’ll be like, I want to pay with this Euro and they’ll be like, we don’t take that anymore.
JOEL: Yeah, it’s like, that’s the value now. Also-
GUS: That’s the old money.
JOEL: -also, we’re gonna mug you now, if that’s cool. I mean, that’s what its gonna turn into.
GUS: I- I’ve always wanted to go to Iran.
BARB: Really?
JACK: Really?
JOEL: Really?
GUS: I think that’ll be fucking awesome.
JOEL: Why? What is wrong with you?
GUS: No, like- like- like, the political situation aside, it’s like the Persian empire is based here, like this is a- y’know, mul- thousand year old mighty empire.
JOEL: I absolutely agree with what you’re saying, like if you look at Turkey and like that-
GUS: Mmhmm.
JOEL: -they had their golden age and math and numbers came from it. It had an incredible golden age and that whole area of the world but it’s like that little sentence that you said, ‘all politics aside.’
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: How- I- I don’t know how you do that.
GUS: Yeah, well-
BARB: So where would you want to travel politics ... onside?
GUS: Politics onside? Ugh, I’d still- I’d still like to go to Iran.
BARB: Yeah.
JACK: Wow.
GUS: I- I- I could swing it.
BARB: Yeah, for sure.
GUS: Yeah I’ll-
BARB: I went to Israel a couple summers ago.
GUS: -grow my beard out like Jack.
BARB: It was awesome.
JOEL: Yeah is- but Israel’s a lot easier . . . to do.
BARB: Probably.
JOEL: How was Israel?
BARB: It was amazing.
JOEL: Yeah?
BARB: It was the most beautiful place I’ve ever been to in my life.
JOEL: Really?
BARB: Just everywhere you look is like, a picture.
JOEL: Really?
GUS: No wonder everyone’s fighting over it.
JOEL: Yeah.
BARB: It’s like an oasis.
JACK: I’d like to go to Tokyo as well.
GUS: Tokyo’s awesome.
JACK: Which Gavin and Burnie are there right now.
GUS: Yup.
JACK: Bastards.
BARB: Tokyo, Japan.
GUS: Yeah, Burnie’s, Burnie sent me uh- an IM this morning.
JACK: Oh yeah?
GUS: It said “S’up slut, Tokyo’s awesome.”
JACK: Did he respond- did you say anything back to him?
GUS: Yeah, I was like ‘oh cool, what have you seen?’ No response.
BARB: He sent me uh- a picture from his hotel room, of outside and I sent him a picture back of me in the office like, smiling super big, like look at my view! Be jealous!
GUS: You should- you should’ve sat in his seat and been like “Whats up? This is my desk now bitch.”
BARB: I actually do have a picture of that.
JACK: We- we’re trying to figure out what we can do to Gavin’s desk. Like, do we- we gotta do something to it before he gets back and just, to destroy it or ruin it in someway.
GUS: Well, you can’t say it on the podcast.
BARB: Yeah, seriously.
JACK: Well, I know, I know, I’m saying we’re thinking of something. I’m not gonna tell what we’re thinking of.
BARB: Just take it outta there.
GUS: Well what about you Joel? You didn’t answer, wher- where do you wanna go?
JOEL: Just light it on fire. Uhm . . . I don’t want to go anywhere.
GUS: Really?
JOEL: I mean, I’ve been pretty much- y’know, actually that’s not true. I wanna go somewhere uh-
BARB: You wanna go somewhere.
JACK: You wanna go to Vegas.
JOEL: -somewhere in the Caribbean.
JACK: Go to Vegas.
JOEL: Somewhere where gambling is legal-
BARB: How about the Barbados?
JOEL: -other than- yeah.
BARB: Why did I say the Barbados?
JOEL: The Barbados.
JACK: Do Turks and Caicos. Cause that’s really, really nice.
JOEL: I’d like to go to Hawaii or Jamaica or any of those places and just sit on an effing beach.
BARB: Yeah?
JOEL: I wanna become a Corona commercial.
BARB: Yeah?
JOEL: That’s what I wanna do.
GUS: You- yeah, that’d be awesome.
BARB: I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii as well. So, we should take a company trip there. Anybody?
JOEL: We should go. I don’t know if we should just- it should be a company trip though.
JACK: You wanna get away from these people.
GUS: After Pax, Penny Arcade does that trip to Hawaii.
BARB: Yeah.
GUS: We should uh- organise some kind of RTX trip.
BARB: We should.
JACK: How about San Diego?
JOEL: We’ll have like a side quest.
BARB: Yay San Diego.
JOEL: San Diego’s awesome. San Diego-
JACK: San Diego-
GUS: They- they’re bitching cause they have to go to Comic Con right after RTX.
BARB: No, I’m cool with it.
JOEL: I’ll go.
BARB: I wanna go.
JOEL: If you need me to go, it’s probably too late.
GUS: No, we have- I think we’re set.
JOEL: Yeah, you have ninety-seven people-
GUS: Mhm.
JOEL: -going to this convention so which uh-
BARB: I’m very excited to go to San Diego.
JACK: It’s gonna be a lot of fun.
JOEL: San Diego’s beautiful-
JACK: And- and- we’re next to Mega 64. This time too.
BARB: I’m very excited to-
GUS: You are?
BARB: -be next to Mega 64.
JACK: We are. Our booth is right next to them.
BARB: Yeah.
GUS: At San Diego Comic Con?
BARB: Yeah.
JACK: Yeah, they moved.
BARB: We’re right next to them.
JACK: I don’t know which spot they took, I don’t know if they took the one behind it. I think Spike and Mike used to be behind us right?
BARB: We’re in- we’re in a corner booth-
JACK: Yeah.
BARB: -and they’re next to us. So, I dunno if that means-
JACK: So they’re- so they- it’s those poster guys, they must be gone.
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: Hm.
BARB: I’m-
GUS: Wonder what happened to those people?
JACK: I dunno.
JOEL: Maybe they merged.
BARB: Gus’ eyes are like-
GUS: No, cause like shit doesn’t move on that floor.
JACK: Yeah, I know.
GUS: Like, we had to trade, to get our current booth.
JACK: Maybe they- maybe they died.
GUS: We used to have another booth further down the aisle and we traded with Scott Curt, so where Scott Curt is now, that used to be our booth.
JACK: Oh really?
GUS: And we traded with him to get the corner where we are now.
JOEL: Usually you have to wait for them to die-
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: -and then you, it’s like season tickets for the Redskins.
GUS: You have to wait for companies to go bankrupt.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: Like there is no more room-
JACK: Well-
GUS: -like you are set.
JACK: Cause Mega64 used to be over by the gaming stuff, on that- the other corner by hall H.
GUS: Yeah, they were- they were outta place.
JACK: Yeah, they were way outta place. So now they’re next to us a-apparently, that’s what-
BARB: I’m super excited.
GUS: Like, last ye- or the last time I went, two years ago, they were like next to the booth for Red Faction. Like, there was this giant monster booth and then like, the ten by ten for Mega64.
JACK: Hi guys.
GUS: It was so weird.
BARB: And they live in San Diego.
JACK: Yeah, yeah.
BARB: So, it’s their turf.
JOEL: God, they’re- that’s- a- San Diego’s a- is gorgeous, has all the great weather of LA, without being LA.
BARB: Yeah.
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: It’s like you get-
BARB: That’s what I hear.
JOEL: -all the good part of LA, with it not being LA.
BARB: And is it apparently right by the water or something, the convention center?
JACK: Yeah, it’s quite cool.
JOEL: Yeah, I mean it’s- it’s-
GUS: It’s on Harbour Drive.
BARB: Ooh, fancy.
JOEL: And, next to Camp Pendleton.
BARB: It’s gonna be my first time there.
JACK: Yeah?
BARB: I’m psyched.
JACK: I’m- this is my second Comic Con. I’m excited.
GUS: Co- San Diego’s beautiful, I-I- Comic Con is a lot of work but it’s- San Diego’s so awesome.
JOEL: And the baseball stadiums right there too.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: E-every year, that I’ve went, I was always like, we should just go watch a game.
JOEL: Yeah.
GUS: We should just- let-let- let’s just delay set-up, we should go watch a Padres game, it's right there.
JOEL: Yeah, its just right there.
GUS: We’ve never done it.
JACK: So what does Comic Con o- does it open- there’s preview night, Wednesday night-
BARB: Wednesday night-
GUS: Yeah, that’s the eh- the-
JACK: Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
GUS: Yeah.
BARB: You and I fly out, probably Tuesday.
JOEL: Yeah.
JACK: We gotta take Barbara to Vegas.
BARB: I need to go to Vegas.
JOEL: We should take a bunch of people to Vegas.
JACK: We need to take Kerry to Vegas, he’s twenty one now. Take Barbara to Vegas.
BARB: Yeah man.
JOEL: They-
BARB: I’m about to be twenty-three.
JACK: Jesus Christ!
BARB: I know.
GUS: And you’re not married yet? Shit.
BARB: I know.
GUS: It’s fucking old maid over here.
JACK: And you’re not pregnant, come on, what’s going on?
BARB: So we’re gonna go-
GUS: Hey, hey, hey. Too far. Not cool.
JACK: Well she’s in America now.
BARB: Not (?)
JOEL: Cut that. I have a- I have a new act now.
BARB: So we’re going to a bunch of events this summer.
JACK: We are. Are we?
BARB: We’re going to, well we got Comic Con, we got RVBTO, we have FanExpo, we have Pax Prime and I think that’s it.
GUS: I hope I filled-
JOEL: That’s not too many.
GUS: I hope I filled out the FanExpo paperwork.
BARB: Uh-oh.
GUS: We should look into that.
BARB: Wuh-oh. Yeah we should.
GUS: After this podcast.
JOEL: Okay, we’re not going to Fan Expo.
JACK: Hey, speaking of which, Gus, you-you have less responsibility now.
GUS: Yes, uhm- I somehow suckered Adam into taking over my tech duties here at the office-
JACK: That’s cool.
GUS: -so that is now Adam’s domain.
JOEL: I walked into your office yesterday.
GUS: Okay.
JOEL: And I was like, hey I have this tech th- technical thing and I’m not sure how it can be done and Adam looked at you and you looked at Adam and Adam goes, “oh no man, that’s, God, that’s so hard, that just can’t, that just can’t be, I,” yeah I’m getting the tech guy spiel, y’know, where it’s just like, you don’t know, blah blah blah and then Jack walks in and goes, “hey you just do it like this.” And-
GUS: Did that work?
JOEL: -and. It works fine.
GUS: Oh, great.
JOEL: It works totally fine. So I don’t know what you guys . . .
BARB: So you figured it out and our tech guys-
JACK: I- no, I told-
JOEL: The company- the company-
JACK: -I told Joel how to do this like-
JOEL: -the company-
JACK: -weeks ago-
JOEL: -has finally gotten big enough-
JACK: -and he’s never listened to me.
JOEL: -the company’s gotten big enough now, now where we have employees that slow roll ya. Y’know, y’know where Adam- he’s got Star Wars open and he’s like “I’m not sure” and it’s like, man don’t me th- give me a fucking break. “I’m not sure.”
BARB: He’s trying to play you.
JACK: God yeah.
GUS: It’s pretty- its-its-its- a difficult request, but I’m glad you got it worked out.
JOEL: He did it! Jack did it in two seconds!
JACK: I told you! I told you how to do it last week!
JOEL: I was testing you.
JACK: And you were like “okay, I’ll try it.”
JOEL: Hey, wait, wait I didn’t know how it works-
JACK: You were like, [imitating JOEL] “Hey Adam, how come this doesn’t work,” and dude, it works and [imitating JOEL, mumbling], and then I do it and it works and you were like [imitating JOEL], “Hey it works.”
JOEL: Alright, cut that.
JACK: [Laughs]
GUS: I’ll be damned, you’re right. Mega64 is right next to us.
BARB: Yeah.
JACK: It’s pretty sweet.
BARB: Fucking Comic-
GUS: It’s pretty sad that I’m not at ComicCon.
JACK: You feel bad that you’re not going now, don’t you?
GUS: Yeah, now…yeah. It’s too bad.
JACK: We’ll be high-fiving Rocco and Shawn and Garrett.
GUS: Now, when you want to take a break and walk around and don’t have anywhere to walk to.
BARB: Garrett-
JOEL: That’s true.
GUS: When I was walking away from our booth, I’d always walk down the other end-
JOEL: -That’s true-
GUS: -of the hallway to visit their booth.
JOEL: -to go visit their booth, yeah.
BARB: [Chuckles]
GUS: Now when we walk over, it’s like, “Hey, what’s up? There’s my booth.”
JACK: You going to check out the McFarlane Toys?
GUS: Yeah…
JACK: There you go. Weee….[Laughs]
BARB: Weeeee……[Laughs]
JACK: A new Spawn figure. Number 30
GUS: Cut that.
[Everyone laughs]
GUS: Kidding, kidding, kidding. Then JOEL’s gonna say something-
JACK: This is the shortest damn podcast
BARB: Lindsay is going to be so damn confused.
JACK: So-
GUS: Pod…cast. Hi. Bye.
JACK: Bing.com
JOEL: So, when does Spider-Man come out?
JACK: July 3rd
BARB: July 3rd
GUS: I am not excited about that movie at all.
JOEL: Aaron... Flash linked something online or something or other about this-
JACK: Flash2000. He’s one of our moderators.
JOEL: -and it was one of those comic book strip and it was like a picture of Iron Man eating food off of a plate, and then like the next panel is Batman eating food off of a plate. Then the third panel is like Iron Man throwing food at Batman.
BARB: Go on.
JOEL: And then Batman throwing food at Iron Man. [laughs] The last panel is like Spider-Man on the ground just like picking up the scraps.
JACK: [laughs]
JOEL: It was like so metaphorical.
GUS: Yeah
BARB: Do you think you would be more excited for that movie if RTX was not that weekend?
GUS: No
BARB: No?
GUS: No
JOEL: I don’t get, like Spider-Man, like when the original Spider-Man came out, I watched, like the 20 minutes of it and I was like, “Nah, I can’t…I can’t digest this. This is not good.” And that was it. I gave up on the entire franchise from that moment forward.
BARB: Are you serious?
JOEL: I have not watched a single frame. I, like watched-
JACK: Dude, Spider-Man 2 was a great film
JOEL: -watching all the…the trailers is just like, “Hey, he’s swinging around-“
BARB: Spider-Man 3 however…-
JOEL: There’s nothing…I don’t understand, like, is there anything compelling going on over there?
JACK: Spider-Man 2? Absolutely.
JOEL: I mean, if you’re nine, I get it.
GUS: No, Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 were good.
BARB: It’s a good movie
JOEL: Was it?
JACK: Yeah
GUS: 3? Not so much
BARB: 3? Don’t bother with 3
JACK: 3 fell apart. No, Sam Raimi, I mean if you’re a big fan. I’m a fan of Sam Raimi. And like he did Evil Dead and Army of Darkness-
JOEL: Yeah, I like-
JACK: -and so like in Spider-Man 2, they let him off the hook a little bit and let him do some fun, kinda creepy stuff with Doc Ock.
JOEL: That’s cool.
JACK: In 3, they like sort of told him what to do and it’s terrible.
JOEL: Uh..
JACK: Like, “You need include these characters.”
JOEL: How many of them are there now?
JACK: There are three.
JOEL: And now, oh there’s only three?
JACK: Yeah, there’s three from the Tobey Maguire-
JOEL: And now they’re going to reboot it?
JACK: They’re rebooting it with Andrew Garfield-
BARB: Yeah
JACK: -who is Zuckerberg’s friend in [The] Social Network
BARB: And, uh, what’s her face…
GUS: He hates Mondays
[Awkward pause]
GUS: Garfield…
[Snoring]
BARB: [Laughs]
GUS: Wow, that totally crashed. Cut that.
[Everyone laughs]
BARB: No, leave it in. Leave it in.
JOEL: I mean it’s to the point now, where you’re going to sit down for a superhero movie and gonna get an hour into the movie, and then they’re going to reboot the franchise.
BARB: [Laughs] Yeah
JOEL: They’re going to start at the middle, and “No, no, no, no. We gotta start over.”
GUS: They’re already going to reboot the Superman franchise, right?
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: They had the one where-
JACK: They’re rebooting Batman.
BARB: What?
JACK: Like in three years. They’re releasing a brand new Batman.
GUS: Well, yeah. I mean they did. This, this one, The Dark Knight Rises will be the third Christopher Nolan one.
JACK: Yeah and they’re starting a new series. Like, because-
BARB: Do they know who’s going to be the new Batman?
JACK: I don’t think so, yet. They want to start a new franchise because-
BARB: [whispers] I’m Batman.
JACK: -Christopher Nolan’s Batman is too dark to have because they want to make a Justice League movie because [The] Avengers did so well.
GUS: Mm-hmm.
JACK: So they want to start linking all the DC characters –
GUS: Yeah, that makes-
JACK: -so it’s like Flash, and Superman, and Wonder Woman, and Batman.
GUS: Yeah, because The Dark Knight did so shitty in the box office.
JACK: Clearly
GUS: I can understand why they want to retool the formula.
JOEL: Basically-
JACK: It’s definitely a different tone.
JOEL: I mean, I basically think they’ve figured out the formula, and basically in the future, there’s just gonna be one movie.
JACK: [Laughs]
JOEL: It’s just going to be one movie and just keep redoing the same over and over again.
BARB: [Laughs]
JOEL: And we’ll have all the superheroes in that movie.
GUS: There’ll be different movies but there’ll be a movie for each genre, like….ACTION…DRAMA-
JOEL: There’s like five movies
GUS: -COMEDY. “Which one do you want to see today?”
BARB: I like how your voice changes.
GUS: “I want to see Comedy 3.”
JOEL: So wait-
[Everyone laughs]
JOEL: And they’re redoing Total Recall, right?
JACK: Yep, with Colin Farrell
JOEL: Now, is it the same exact…?
JACK: I don’t know, like-
JOEL: Is it shot-for-shot the same?
BARB: I don’t recall…[laughs]
JACK: No, no it’s not shot-for-shot.
JOEL: It’s not shot-for-shot the same?
GUS: Oh, God.
BARB: [Laughing] That joke never gets old.
JACK: No, it’s uh…I don’t know if they go to Mars, honestly. In the trailer, the trailer doesn’t say anything about Mars and that was the whole point of Total Recall. It was “Get your ass to Mars.”
[BARB laughing in background]
JOEL: I’ve seen… I saw one scene from it, and the scene…like the dialogue was the same.
JACK: Oh, was it?
JOEL: But who…I don’t know.
JACK: Well, I mean it’s uhh…it’s John Cho. Is that his name? He plays the creepy dude with blonde hair who gets the guy into the Rekall machine. Colin Farrell…the Rekall machine?...[pause]… No, okay-
BARB: Wow
JACK: -Anyone else watch the trailer?
GUS: Yeah, yeah. I know what you’re talking about. I was looking it up and [The] Dark Knight is the number four highest grossing movie of all time.
JACK: Wow.
BARB: What are the top three?
GUS: Avatar, Titanic, and The Avengers. [Laughs]
BARB: Oh, wow.
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: So say that Bat….really?
GUS: Yep
BARB: That’s incredible
GUS: [The] Dark Knight. Number four.
JACK: Where do you think Titanic is at?
BARB: Is Harry Potter up there on the list?
JACK: Yeah, it’s up there.
GUS: See, that’s why I was like, “I can’t believe they want to change the tone of the film when the movie they just released, the most recent one, is the fourth highest grossing movie of all time?”
BARB: And it’s like one character-
GUS: Yeah
BARB: -it’s not a group of characters. It did that well.
GUS: Harry Potter uhh….
JACK: It’s number five.
BARB: It’s gotta be up there on the top ten.
GUS: Hmmm….no. Looking at all time…
BARB: The Deathly Hallows…
JACK: Deathly Hallows, Pt. 2?
GUS: -Domestic. Pt.2 is fifteen.
JACK: Wow
BARB: Really?
JOEL: Aw, jeez…
BARB: What’s 6, 7, and 8?
GUS: I’m looking at domestic.
JACK: Oh, ok. I was thinking worldwide.
GUS: So, it’s uh, after [The] Dark Knight, it’s Episode I Star Wars, Shrek 2, E.T. This must be-
BARB: Shrek 2 [Blows raspberry]
GUS: -oh, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lion King, Toy’s Story 3, Spider-Man. Hunger Games?
JACK: Jesus
JOEL: Really?
GUS: Transformers, Harry Potter
BARB: Dude, Hunger Games was a good movie.
GUS: Hunger Games pulled in $402 million domestically.
JOEL: It’s already gone, isn’t it? Is in in theatres?
BARB: I think it’s still out in theatres.
GUS: I’m sure it’ll be On Demand soon. Like, I just watched 21 Jumpstreet finally on Zune this past weekend.
JACK: Is that good?
GUS: It was better than I expected.
BARB: Wasn’t that in theaters yesterday?
JACK: You know what JOEL’s excited for? Magic Mike. He’s been talking about it like nonstop.
GUS: I’ve been-
JACK: Let’s go see Magic Mike.
JOEL: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
BARB: No, no, no, I’m excited for Magic Mike.
GUS: Last night on the Rooster Teeth Sponsor Chat, I started…I played the trailer for Magic Mike. I was like, “Let’s go watch Magic Mike this weekend.”
BARB: GUS and I were on the Sponsor Chat last night-
JACK: Oh yeah?
BARB: -and uh, people were watching some videos that GUS was posting and some of them were a little bit questionable like Wally World.
JACK: I got yelled at for that.
GUS: Yeah, I played Wally World-
JACK: Wallawallawallawall…..
GUS: -I played the uncensored Tip Drill movie
JACK: Oh, God
JOEL: Nothing questionable about Wally World.
JACK: Wally World is like…what I played was less risqué than Wally World video.
BARB: Yeah, but this is also like at 2 in the morning.
JACK: Whatever.
GUS: Yeah, it’s pretty lame.
JACK: People should be at work. [Laughs]
GUS: You, uh….you have the Kate Upton
JACK: Yeah I have the Kate Upton channel-
BARB: You actually have a room.
JACK: -so if you’re a sponsor, it’s uh /chat/kateupton
BARB: It’s roosterteeth.com/chat, then you can see all the chat rooms.
JACK: /kateupton. It’s the best channel we have.
BARB: [Laughs]
JACK: It’s a 30-minute loop, doing the Cat Daddy
BARB: Yeah, I love those Sponsor Chats with the ability to embed a video.
GUS: Yeah
BARB: I was demanding “Hipster Cat” for an hour.
JACK: So if any-
JOEL: I’m sorry, JACK. What is that? What you were saying?
JACK: [Laughs] Go to roosterteeth.com/chat/kateupton
GUS: Does that work or is just “/chat” and you have to look for it?
JACK: I think that /…Yeah, JOEL you should try that. See if it takes you right to it. [Slight pause]…and it should be a 30-minute video.
GUS: It should be like right there near the top.
BARB: Yeah, if you just…go to sponsor-
JACK: Anyway, if you create a room, if you’re a sponsor and you create a room, are you able to embed stuff or-
BARB: No, it’s only staff members.
JACK: Oh, ok
BARB: But you could create a room, kick people out, or make it private. Whatever you want.
JACK: Cool.
BARB: So, you have control over you room
JACK: So there’s a bunch of cool rooms there. There’s the DayZ rooms in there.
BARB: Yes
JACK: Sponsor Chat is always hoppin.’ And the Kate Upton chat is….loads of fun.
GUS: It’s always bouncin’
JACK: Yeah [laughs]
JOEL: Created by JACK
BARB: There’s always people in that chat.
GUS: Yeah
BARB: It’s awesome.
JACK: Yeah, it’s pretty cool. And BARB, you’re making, what, cupcakes in your room
BARB: Yeah [snickers]. We talked about it, I think, last week on the podcast
GUS: We should have a dueling cupcake bakeoff
BARB: I tried to bake and I, I let people watch, unfortunately.
JOEL: How’d that go?
BARB: Pretty good.
JOEL: Are you capable at baking now?
BARB: I am.
JOEL: Are you?
BARB: I’m officially now a woman.
JACK: [Laughs]
JOEL: I’m not… the thing is that I’m not sure about baking because the result of baking is always bad.
BARB: [Snickers]
JOEL: It’s always going to be sugary, bad…
BARB: They weren’t that sugary. They were like coconut and pineapple cupcakes. So it was like using the natural sugars of the earth. [Laughs]
GUS: Sugar is a natural sugar of the earth
BARB: Shut the fuck up
GUS: I hate to tell you that.
JOEL: I’m not going to lie-
BARB: It’s non-processed
JACK: What’s up, JOEL?
JOEL: -that’s good. You done good work
JACK: [Laughs] The one with her dancing?
BARB: It’s a good video
JACK: It’s it has music too, so you can just let it play and let it keep going, and going-
BARB: -And going.
JACK: -and going, and going
[GUS laughs]
JOEL: Like-
GUS: I don’t think…the music is the important part
JOEL: -she is that happy all the time ‘cause she knows how hot she is.
JACK: There’s uh…there’s another video-
JOEL: So she’s just happy
GUS: So I’ve heard
JACK: There’s another video of her at a Clippers game doing the…dancing to the Dougie-
GUS: The Dougie
JACK: -and it’s like the most, like, hot-
BARB: That’s like your favorite video
JACK: That is like the hottest, most adorable thing ever.
GUS: Yeah
JACK: Like, she somehow managed to be cute and incredibly hot.
GUS: I think after you left last night, people were asking for the Kate Upton video. That one, doing the Cat Daddy. So I embedded the Dougie one instead.
JACK: Ah, she’s so cute
BARB: Did you teach her how to Dougie? Winky face.
JACK: I wish
[BARB and JACK laughing]
JACK: So, she’s what, only 19, too.
JOEL: She’s 19?
GUS: 19 or 20, something like that.
BARB: EWWWW!!!! Oh, ewwww. Ah, no!!
JACK: What?
BARB: I don’t like…I don’t like thinking about that. You looking at a 19 year old girl dance naked...
JACK: Wh-what?
GUS: She’s not naked
JACK: She’s not naked
JOEL: Some people look more mature than others
BARB: She’s practically naked.
JOEL: She’s mature for her age. You can tell by the way she dances.
BARB: I just feel like that’s too young.
JACK: Well, that’s not my fault.
[Everyone snickers]
JACK: I don’t…I don’t wait ‘til how old she can be.
JOEL: She too young to be dancing?
GUS: What’s, what’s uhh…how old is too old for you? What’s the oldest guy you’d go out with?
BARB: Um…probably early thirties.
GUS: Early thirties. So, ten year difference?
BARB: Yeah
GUS: So, are you a ten-year difference from Kate Upton, JACK?
JACK: I’m thirty, so…
GUS: Eleven years. So, why…?
BARB: But she’s also under 21. It’s different. I don’t know.
JACK: Ahh…
GUS: Ehh…I don’t know. I think you just got caught in a double standard.
JACK: What’s it like up there in your high horse? Is it nice?
BARB: It’s pretty good, actually.
JACK: Is it comfy? Is it hot up there?
BARB: She’s just under 21. It just weirds me out a little bit.
GUS: So it wouldn’t be weird if she was 21?
JOEL: It’s good that BARB-
BARB: She just graduated high school. Think about that.
JOEL: It’s good that BARB is on the podcast-
JACK: She probably didn’t go to high school.
JOEL: -because what you’re expressing I’m sure isn’t uncommon to like…
BARB: The girls listening?
JOEL: Yeah, you know.
JACK: Both of them? Well, if you’re here, that means that’s one less…
BARB: Shout out to the girl listening to the podcast.
GUS: Besides Lindsay.
JOEL: But this is like-
JACK: That’s true. Shit!
[BARB laughs]
JOEL: This is like a debate, an eternal debate that will go on beyond us.
JACK: JOEL is getting derailed by this video. You’re just watching that video, aren’t you? [Laughs]
JOEL: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
JACK: Like, his eyes are trained in the upper left hand corner of his monitor.
GUS: Th-that is where the video is. Look at you.
JACK: Yeah, yeah. I can tell.
[BARB laughs]
JOEL: What’s wrong with YouTube lately? It’s like not playing
GUS: It’s paused. That’s what’s going on.
[JACK laughs]
[BARB laughs]
JOEL: Goddammit. It’s not paused. It’s not paused.
GUS: There it goes.
JOEL: It’s not paused
JACK: I will say that YouTube has been going really, really slow lately. It seems like the Internet in general has been going really slow lately.
GUS: I’ve been having a lot of problems with YouTube, too. I thought it was just me.
BARB: Yep, YouTube-
JACK: I switched over the Chrome, and Chrome helps a lot.
JOEL: It’s slowly like Twitter and YouTube lately have been just like, really having problems.
[BARB laughing uncontrollably]
JOEL: It’s like, is this part of a larger….
[BARB continues to laugh uncontrollably]
GUS: I have no idea what’s wrong with her
JACK: BARB’s losing her shit.
JOEL: Is this part of a larger plan to-
BARB: GUS is playing with the wire on his headphones around his face
JACK: What? People do stuff.
GUS: Maybe we’re-
BARB: It’s really funny. I’m sorry.
JACK: Maybe he’s self-conscious
GUS: I do this every week
BARB: [Laughing] He’s looking at me in the eyes.
GUS: So, you’re saying that it’s a larger problem with infrastructure-
[BARB continues to laugh]
GUS: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
[JACK laughs]
JOEL: Is this part of a larger scheme to-
JACK: GUS is going to throw his chair
JOEL: -charge us money for more bandwidth? Like, this is what we’re going to do
GUS: Like uh-oh, there’s only so much Internet
JOEL: We’re going to start slowing this down a lot. And then we’re gonna be like, “ Ah, I see, you gotta pay for certain structured plan. Otherwise…” Alright, now you’re freaking me out. You gotta stop.
[BARB laughs]
GUS: Sorry, sorry, I do it like every week. Why are people freaking out?
JOEL: Go for it
BARB: I’ve never seen you do that before.
JACK: GUS, I saw a movie I think you would appreciate. I told JOEL about this yesterday, too. I think JOEL would appreciate it, too. But you have Netflix Instant, right?
GUS: Yeah
JACK: Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop
JOEL: I think you’ve lost it. What’s the matter with you?
JACK: Goddamn you, JOEL
GUS: Oh, I hated it. I hated Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop.
JOEL: Why?
GUS: It was boring as fuck.
BARB: Is it a documentary?
GUS: It just dragged on and I thought it was too, like self-serving.
JACK: It’s a documentary about Conan O’Brien, like that period when got laid off from the Tonight Show and he was doing that tour. So, basically it’s a documentary about the planning and the actual event of the tour.
BARB: Oh, I think I did see it and I hated it. And I love Conan O’Brien
GUS: Me, too
BARB: Like he’s my favorite stand up-
JOEL: See, it’s not playing. It stopped playing
JACK: Well, if that video’s gonna stop playing, that’s a fine video to let it stop…anyway.
GUS: Reload it
BARB: Freeze frame is fine.
JACK: So, uh, but like in that movie, he talks about like how he’s depleted and you know he talks about, like, you know, people asking him to do things and he’s like-. Even for example, when he went to Bonnaroo, he’s sitting there and people, like, “Oh yeah, you’re supposed to introduce…” And he’s like, “I didn’t sign up for that.” “Well somebody did.” And he’s like, “Where’s that person?” and no one knows.
GUS: Mm-hmm
JACK: See, that’s the kind of stuff I see you deal with.
GUS: Mm-hmm
JACK: And I figured you would relate to that. And, you know, you know like it’s not the actual event that kills you. It’s the everything before and after the event that kills you.
GUS: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
JACK: Like that kind of stuff I feel like that seems very relatable
GUS: I...I guess it is but I don’t think myself or I don’t think of any of us encountering situations like that, even though we have encountered situations like that. Like, I’ve seen, like that’s a whole other level. Like, that’s legitimate-
JACK: Yeah
GUS: -issues. Ours are like [whining noise].
[JACK laughs]
JOEL: Wait. Stop. What?
GUS: I look at that, like, I don’t feel like I identify with that
JACK: Yeah
JOEL: With Conan O’Brien’s journey?
GUS: Like that level of…level of problem
JACK: It’s scale, you know. Well, you know, at the same time
JOEL: Well, you and I were talking about this and it’s like, “Aw, it’s hard. You gotta do this. You gotta do that.” And it’s hard and this and that, but you got to ask yourself, “How much is Conan O’Brien worth?”
[Everyone laughs]
JOEL: And it’s you know, “Oh he’s worth 75 million dollars.” And you like, “HE’S WORTH 75 MILLION DOLLARS!!!!”
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: “YOU DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS!!!”
JACK: Conan O’Brien is worth like 75 million dollars
JOEL: He, uh, he has to travel from city to city IN HIS PRIVATE JET!!!
JACK: [Snickers]
JOEL: In his private jet. You don’t have to travel in that.
JACK: But it’s paid for.
JOEL: YOU DON’T HAVE TO TRAVEL IN THAT!!! YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS!!! YOU DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS!!! It’s like that actor who dropped out, um, because he wanted to be a rapper.
GUS: Who?
JACK: Oh, um…yeah, um…
GUS: Joaquin Phoenix?
JACK: Yeah, Joaquin Phoenix.
JOEL: Yeah, and he made a documentary about [imitating Joaquin Phoenix] oh the artistic struggle of him going from being an actor to…and that was self-serving.
JACK: I don’t know if that was real or not.
GUS: No, that was, no…
JACK: You don’t think it was real?
GUS: No
BARB: It couldn’t have been.
JOEL: I thought it was pretty real
BARB: He’s a jokester.
GUS: I thought he-
JOEL: Because it was too lame for it, to be fake.
GUS: No, like, didn’t he go back on Letterman afterwards and like, talked about it and plugged it like he was in character before?
JOEL: I think he…-
JACK: I don’t know
JOEL: I don’t think that…I think that if was doing that, he was trying to save face.
GUS: Hmm…
JACK: He may have been, like, he was gonna think that, “Oh, this is going to be funny.” But then no one found it funny. But, you know, like, he was like already, you know, knee deep into it, and he was like, “Oh, I guess I have to keep doing it.” And it get, you know-
JOEL: I don’t think that-
BARB: He’s like, “I actually have to change into this character.”
JACK: Yeah, and he just keeps going further and further down the rabbit hole-
JOEL: Yeaahhhh….
JACK: -and he’s like, “Fuck.” And then he just got buried in it.
JOEL: Doesn’t that even matter? Doesn’t even matter if it’s fake or not? It was…it was dumb.
[JACK laughs]
JOEL: I mean, it was just, the documentary was; how do you sit down and watch that documentary about yourself and then-
JACK: BARB is rubbing her face on the pop filter
BARB: I do it every week.
GUS: Who was it that directed it? Was it Casey Affleck who directed it or something?
JACK: Yeah, I think so.
GUS: Hmm…
JOEL: Yeah, just what I want to see is the relative of a famous guy. You know, it’s like-
GUS: Wait ‘til you see this new movie my cousin’s making. It’s gonna be awesome.
[Everyone laughs]
JOEL: I don’t know…
JACK: This podcast, GUS’s uncle working on..
GUS: That’s my uncle.
BARB: That’s my uncle…oooooohhh
GUS: Well, so last week, JayOrDan [Jordan Cwierz] put out that, uh, uh, scripted episode 50 of Animated Adventure.
JACK: THAT WAS SCRIPTED?!!
BARB: [sarcastically] No…
GUS: [Laughs] Did not actually happen. I thought that was, people received it pretty well.
BARB: A lot of people were saying that was their favorite one.
JACK: Love the Burnies.
JACK: Do you really?
GUS: Yes.
JOEL: The thing that is great about soccer- especially nowadays, right here now, is umm ... as an American, watching soccer is you’re really hoping for the soccer riot. To break out, right? That’s what we all want
JACK: I think Americans are too lazy to soccer riot though, that’s a lot of rioting.
JOEL: Well no, it’s like they- th- th- uh- Greek- uh Greece was playing Germany-
JACK: Mhm.
JOEL: In a tournament called the Euros, how ironic is that?
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: And it’s just like, this is great, this is- they’re gonna murder each other. This is just to watch and to just- it’s a powder keg.
BARB: I- I feel like soccer has the highest ratio of like, nothing happening but the most excitement.
GUS: Well that’s- that’s like the- it’s like the counterbalance, it’s like, you wait for that goal-
BARB: I guess.
GUS: -but when it happens, oh my God.
BARB: Oh my god yeah.
GUS: Fucking end of the world.
JOEL: If you like soccer then I don’t know why you don’t like rugby or Aussie rules football more...
GUS: I- I think I would like rugby, I just- there’s no easy way for me to watch it. And, I- like it’s hard to get started. Like soccer, I don’t watch it for a long time so that’s fine, I’ll- I’ll go out of my way to watch a soccer game. Rugby, there’s no easy access for me. So I can’t get started on it.
BARB: That’s true.
JOEL: Well you’re just not trying hard enough.
GUS: I’d love to watch Aussie rules football too.
BARB: But I feel like those are such different sports rugby and soccer, like that- that- those are not related.
GUS: Yeah, but they’re still sports, I’d watch them, I’m eh-
BARB: Do you watch hockey?
GUS: No. I’m not really into hockey. I’m also not really into basketball.
BARB: In my mind there’s no sport other than hockey.
JOEL: I’m not really-
GUS: What about basket- You played fucking basketball for six years Barbara.
BARB: I don’t like watching basketball.
GUS: But that-
JOEL: Here’s the problem with basketball, is that nobody, nobody, can figure out what is a foul and what’s not a foul.
BARB: I-
JACK: It’s true.
JOEL: No effin- sense.
BARB: Sometimes it works in your benefit.
GUS: Depends on who paid the ref more.
JOEL: And they say- and they say- it’s like there was that sixty minutes interview with the corrupt NBA referee-
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: -who was like ‘yeah I was cheating, I was fixing the games, I was calling on it. Yup, I was doing this for years.’ And it’s just like, oh, well, okay. This is the one guy they caught and I guess there’s no one else. It’s just like, y’know, y’know it’s out there, y’know it’s corrupt, y’know it’s easy to fix, you watch games, it doesn- there’s calls that just don’t make sense, its like. . . and it’s just like, that guy just appears and its like, okay whatever, don’t look at that guy, don’t pay attention to him, let’s just-
JACK: Well I’m- that’s any subjective thing, in any sport, like- I mean like-
JOEL: I-it’s true.
JACK: I mean, we’re at a point now like, especially, like baseball. Joel, you-you’ve gotten me into baseball now, after y’know- you’re a huge Ranger fan and now I’m like, okay I’ll start watching some games. But like, strike zones. How come strike zones can’t be like, laser judged or something like that?
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: We have the technology, and it’s like, y’know-
JOEL: They have to be.
JACK: Yeah! And its like- so- we have a consistent strike zone for every player cause really it’s just an Ump going “oh sorry” You know?
GUS: The- th- they- they’ll disguise it. I mean, they totally should.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: They won’t do it under the guise of “tradition”.
JACK: Yeah, ff-
JOEL: Screw that.
GUS: But, screw it.
JOEL: Screw that.
JACK: Exactly.
GUS: We have technology, we can improve it.
JACK: And like, you know what? Don’t touch it at like, lower levels. Like y’know- like, if you wanna play- y’know, like T-ball, sure, fine, keep e-everything the exact same up ‘till like college.
GUS: No. NO! The T-ball kids must buy the laser guided system. And the tomahawk missile.
JACK: But, a- a- at the point where it becomes professional sport, it really needs to be- like you need to have professional technology.
GUS: When you are paying athletes millions of dollars to pay- to play a game, you should invest in ways to improve their roles.
JOEL: The re- the reason why we like sports is because it’s action not words, and it’s not perception based. It’s you hit that line and you didn’t hit that line.
EVERYONE: Yeah.
Joel: And it’s just like, it should be that way.
BARB: Now you can solve this problem.
JACK: But then-
BARB: Watch hockey.
JACK: But then-
JOEL: Lasers could solve all of these problems.
JACK: But then you, it-it gets subjective y’know? Like, anytime you have subjectiveness in it y’know, because of a ref that, it just, it takes away from something.
JOEL: When we were uh- when we were gonna get the- d- d- d- do the thing on the radio, somebody on facebook was like, ‘I dare you to incorporate sports, video games and financial stuff into one thing’ and I talk-
JACK: I’m sure you-
BARB: Did you do it?
JOEL: Yeah! Like uh- Curt Schillings video game company went bankrupt.
BARB: Oh.
GUS: Man, in one sentence! In one sentence!
BARB: Wow.
JOEL: Like that week it was like-
BARB: That- that’s impressive.
JOEL: -he did that for me.
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: He bankrupt his company and now he owes the State like millions and millions of dollars cause he-
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: -got all his funding.
JACK: Their game was actually pretty good, the Kingdom of Amalur? Whatever, it was actually a pretty neat game.
GUS: Yeah I’ve heard it was really well received, really well reviewed.
JACK: But, I guess, I- I- don’t know how he got-
JOEL: It’s out?
JACK: Yeah it’s out. It’s been out for awhile but w-
JOEL: For the 360? Where-
GUS & JACK: Yeah.
JACK: But they just got it-
JOEL: So they released a game then went bankrupt?
JACK: Mmhmm.
BARB: That’s too bad.
JOEL: And nobody bought the game and it’s good?
JACK: I think they just- I think they got in debt trying to um- make the game and then they- it didn’t sell as well as they needed it to sell.
GUS: Plus, they were negotiating umm- the rights for the sequel and that- they were gonna look into secure money from a publisher-
JOEL: Uhuh.
GUS: -but then I guess, the- uh, the accusation now that Curt Schilling says is, the Governor of Rhode Island said- made statements about the financial standing of his company-
JOEL: Oh.
GUS: -so the publisher then got nervous and pulled out of the deal.
JOEL: Oooh.
GUS: So he didn’t get his money and-
JOEL: Ouch.
GUS: -the studio closed.
JOEL: That’s a ugly situation.
GUS: I- I get the feeling that he may file some kind of suit against the Governor or the State.
JOEL: Wow.
GUS: For talking about the finances of his company and screwing his deal and making his studio close.
JOEL: Man that sounds, umm, like a whole ugly situation right there.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: Yeah.
BARB: Yeah. Just the whole of it.
GUS: I heard that he’s- he- he put all of his personal money into it and he’s uh- he’s tapped, supposedly. Which is-
JOEL: No!
GUS: -which is sad, it’s awful.
JOEL: Really?
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: Gadzukes man.
JACK: Can he sell one of those bloody-
GUS: Supposedly, I mean- uhh- according to the books, he put like fifty million dollars out of pocket.
BARB: Holy-
JACK: Jesus.
BARB: -crap.
GUS: Into the company.
JACK: Can he sell one of those bloody socks for a couple million dollars? From the world series-
GUS: I forgot he did that.
JACK: Yeah.
BARB: I’m sure there’s people who would buy it,
JACK: I think- I think- uh- it’s in the baseball hall of fame as a matter of fact.
GUS: Yeah, that’s sad.
JOEL: And, kinda gross.
BARB: Just kinda.
GUS: Umm- okay. I- I got something I wanna say here. I wanna say thanks to bing.com for support of this podcast. Bingah. Umm- so you know we’re heading out to Pax in Seattle at the end of August, eh- like we do all the time and uh- one of the things I do here at Roosterteeth is I have to plan our travel. So uh, you can go to bing.com to plan a trip and I can tell you the Bing planning- bing.com/travel is like the best way to buy a plane ticket. We’ll talk more about that in a second.
JOEL: Yeah.
GUS: Uh, they’re not paying me to say that, that’s . . . that’s my personal belief but uh, so you can go to bing.com to plan the trip. You can uh- just enter Seattle, click search and check through the results. It-sh pulls up your flight selector and price predictor, which tells you- which predicts if the price of your ticket is gonna go up or down and it-
BARB: Oh my god.
GUS: -advises you on whether or not to buy or to wait.
BARB: Genius.
GUS: Which is awesome, we’ll talk more about that in a second too.
JOEL: It’s like a stock market.
GUS: Umm . . . so ya know, as I’ve been saying over the past few weeks, Bing’s gone social and it shows you what my- or it showed me what my Facebook friends like in Seattle as far as like hotels, restaurants, things like that and uh- y’know there are people I know on my Facebook list and uh- it can also surface people on Twitter to help get you more knowledge about your search and uh- so I just wanna say thanks to Bing for making my travel decision for Seattle easier. So uhm, check out Bing, try connecting your Bing account to Facebook and see how it brings together topics we can share. So thanks again to Bing for supporting Roosterteeth.
BARB: That’s awesome.
JACK: So you’re a big fan of their travel searches?
GUS: I’m a big fan. Off- this is off the sheet.
JACK: This is off- we are off the sheet.
JOEL: And I mean-
GUS: This is me talking.
JOEL: -if anyone is an expert on travelling it’s- it’s you.
GUS: That-
BARB: Yeah.
GUS: -that- that site they have that bing.com/travel, you can enter, you like there is cities, you can do multi-city, you- you can do very standard stuff for any- that any travel site will do but what- they do is, they search the prices on the airline site, they search the prices on travel sites like Orbitz, Travelocity, Expedia and then they’ll show you the price difference for all of them and you can pick which site you wanna book through.
JACK: Oh cool.
GUS: Uhm, it also has that price predictor, which tells you if the price is gonna go up or down and the percentage chance that it’ll go up or down.
BARB: Love those things.
JOEL: God, that is crazy.
GUS: It’s really a fucking phenomenal service.
JOEL: I wonder what some- y’know, mathematical formulas is behind- is behind some of that stuff.
GUS: I-I heard an interview with the guy who developed that system.
JOEL: Uh-huh.
GUS: Uhm, I guess he- he did not work for Microsoft, he was just developing this, like he was just collecting decades of flight data and prices and was just trending it all himself and then Microsoft found out about it and like, bought his company-
JOEL: Oooh.
GUS: -just to acquire all that data-
JOEL: That’s right, yeah, yeah.
GUS: -and that trending, then they incorporated it into the- the price predictor.
JACK: That’s cool.
JOEL: I love dudes like that. Who are just sort of like he-
GUS: He’s like-
JOEL: -he’s like either genius IPO guy or is he in his basement just like tracking all the-
GUS: It’s like he’s gonna build the mother of all spreadsheets.
JOEL: I just want all the information!
GUS: He’s either gonna be insane or rich.
BARB: Where is one place you wanna travel but you haven’t been yet?
JOEL: Uhh-
JACK: I know.
BARB: Where?
JACK: Australia.
BARB: Yeah?
JACK: I would love to go to Australia.
BARB: Gus?
JACK: And I’ve been passed over every goddamn time.
JOEL: We have a company policy that Jack is not allowed to go to Australia and we have this like, inside joke where it’s- we think it’s really funny but it’s like, who wants to go to Australia? Not Jack.
JACK: Hilarious.
GUS: This is the no Jack’s club.
JACK: Yeah.
BARB: They already have kangaroo Jack. They’re good to go.
JACK: Yeah, there’s one Jack already in there.
GUS: What about you Barbara?
BARB: I’ve never been to anywhere in Europe. So-
GUS: Really?
BARB: Yeah.
GUS: Oh, wow.
BARB: I’d like to go somewhere in-
JOEL: You know what? I lived there, but its been a long time since I’ve been there-
BARB: Yeah.
JOEL: -and I would really like to go back there and now I find myself- it’s like I wanna go back there before the whole thing blows up.
BARB: Where in Europe did you live?
JOEL: Uh, I live in Germany.
BARB: Okay.
JOEL: Yeah.
JACK: No, let it blow up and then everythings gonna get real cheap.
BARB: Yeah.
JOEL: That’s the- that’s- well that true-
BARB: And crispy.
JOEL: -and- and- I dunno. Also, it’s gonna be a third world-ish.
GUS: You- you’ll be like, I want to pay with this Euro and they’ll be like, we don’t take that anymore.
JOEL: Yeah, it’s like, that’s the value now. Also-
GUS: That’s the old money.
JOEL: -also, we’re gonna mug you now, if that’s cool. I mean, that’s what its gonna turn into.
GUS: I- I’ve always wanted to go to Iran.
BARB: Really?
JACK: Really?
JOEL: Really?
GUS: I think that’ll be fucking awesome.
JOEL: Why? What is wrong with you?
GUS: No, like- like- like, the political situation aside, it’s like the Persian empire is based here, like this is a- y’know, mul- thousand year old mighty empire.
JOEL: I absolutely agree with what you’re saying, like if you look at Turkey and like that-
GUS: Mmhmm.
JOEL: -they had their golden age and math and numbers came from it. It had an incredible golden age and that whole area of the world but it’s like that little sentence that you said, ‘all politics aside.’
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: How- I- I don’t know how you do that.
GUS: Yeah, well-
BARB: So where would you want to travel politics ... onside?
GUS: Politics onside? Ugh, I’d still- I’d still like to go to Iran.
BARB: Yeah.
JACK: Wow.
GUS: I- I- I could swing it.
BARB: Yeah, for sure.
GUS: Yeah I’ll-
BARB: I went to Israel a couple summers ago.
GUS: -grow my beard out like Jack.
BARB: It was awesome.
JOEL: Yeah is- but Israel’s a lot easier . . . to do.
BARB: Probably.
JOEL: How was Israel?
BARB: It was amazing.
JOEL: Yeah?
BARB: It was the most beautiful place I’ve ever been to in my life.
JOEL: Really?
BARB: Just everywhere you look is like, a picture.
JOEL: Really?
GUS: No wonder everyone’s fighting over it.
JOEL: Yeah.
BARB: It’s like an oasis.
JACK: I’d like to go to Tokyo as well.
GUS: Tokyo’s awesome.
JACK: Which Gavin and Burnie are there right now.
GUS: Yup.
JACK: Bastards.
BARB: Tokyo, Japan.
GUS: Yeah, Burnie’s, Burnie sent me uh- an IM this morning.
JACK: Oh yeah?
GUS: It said “S’up slut, Tokyo’s awesome.”
JACK: Did he respond- did you say anything back to him?
GUS: Yeah, I was like ‘oh cool, what have you seen?’ No response.
BARB: He sent me uh- a picture from his hotel room, of outside and I sent him a picture back of me in the office like, smiling super big, like look at my view! Be jealous!
GUS: You should- you should’ve sat in his seat and been like “Whats up? This is my desk now bitch.”
BARB: I actually do have a picture of that.
JACK: We- we’re trying to figure out what we can do to Gavin’s desk. Like, do we- we gotta do something to it before he gets back and just, to destroy it or ruin it in someway.
GUS: Well, you can’t say it on the podcast.
BARB: Yeah, seriously.
JACK: Well, I know, I know, I’m saying we’re thinking of something. I’m not gonna tell what we’re thinking of.
BARB: Just take it outta there.
GUS: Well what about you Joel? You didn’t answer, wher- where do you wanna go?
JOEL: Just light it on fire. Uhm . . . I don’t want to go anywhere.
GUS: Really?
JOEL: I mean, I’ve been pretty much- y’know, actually that’s not true. I wanna go somewhere uh-
BARB: You wanna go somewhere.
JACK: You wanna go to Vegas.
JOEL: -somewhere in the Caribbean.
JACK: Go to Vegas.
JOEL: Somewhere where gambling is legal-
BARB: How about the Barbados?
JOEL: -other than- yeah.
BARB: Why did I say the Barbados?
JOEL: The Barbados.
JACK: Do Turks and Caicos. Cause that’s really, really nice.
JOEL: I’d like to go to Hawaii or Jamaica or any of those places and just sit on an effing beach.
BARB: Yeah?
JOEL: I wanna become a Corona commercial.
BARB: Yeah?
JOEL: That’s what I wanna do.
GUS: You- yeah, that’d be awesome.
BARB: I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii as well. So, we should take a company trip there. Anybody?
JOEL: We should go. I don’t know if we should just- it should be a company trip though.
JACK: You wanna get away from these people.
GUS: After Pax, Penny Arcade does that trip to Hawaii.
BARB: Yeah.
GUS: We should uh- organise some kind of RTX trip.
BARB: We should.
JACK: How about San Diego?
JOEL: We’ll have like a side quest.
BARB: Yay San Diego.
JOEL: San Diego’s awesome. San Diego-
JACK: San Diego-
GUS: They- they’re bitching cause they have to go to Comic Con right after RTX.
BARB: No, I’m cool with it.
JOEL: I’ll go.
BARB: I wanna go.
JOEL: If you need me to go, it’s probably too late.
GUS: No, we have- I think we’re set.
JOEL: Yeah, you have ninety-seven people-
GUS: Mhm.
JOEL: -going to this convention so which uh-
BARB: I’m very excited to go to San Diego.
JACK: It’s gonna be a lot of fun.
JOEL: San Diego’s beautiful-
JACK: And- and- we’re next to Mega 64. This time too.
BARB: I’m very excited to-
GUS: You are?
BARB: -be next to Mega 64.
JACK: We are. Our booth is right next to them.
BARB: Yeah.
GUS: At San Diego Comic Con?
BARB: Yeah.
JACK: Yeah, they moved.
BARB: We’re right next to them.
JACK: I don’t know which spot they took, I don’t know if they took the one behind it. I think Spike and Mike used to be behind us right?
BARB: We’re in- we’re in a corner booth-
JACK: Yeah.
BARB: -and they’re next to us. So, I dunno if that means-
JACK: So they’re- so they- it’s those poster guys, they must be gone.
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: Hm.
BARB: I’m-
GUS: Wonder what happened to those people?
JACK: I dunno.
JOEL: Maybe they merged.
BARB: Gus’ eyes are like-
GUS: No, cause like shit doesn’t move on that floor.
JACK: Yeah, I know.
GUS: Like, we had to trade, to get our current booth.
JACK: Maybe they- maybe they died.
GUS: We used to have another booth further down the aisle and we traded with Scott Curt, so where Scott Curt is now, that used to be our booth.
JACK: Oh really?
GUS: And we traded with him to get the corner where we are now.
JOEL: Usually you have to wait for them to die-
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: -and then you, it’s like season tickets for the Redskins.
GUS: You have to wait for companies to go bankrupt.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: Like there is no more room-
JACK: Well-
GUS: -like you are set.
JACK: Cause Mega64 used to be over by the gaming stuff, on that- the other corner by hall H.
GUS: Yeah, they were- they were outta place.
JACK: Yeah, they were way outta place. So now they’re next to us a-apparently, that’s what-
BARB: I’m super excited.
GUS: Like, last ye- or the last time I went, two years ago, they were like next to the booth for Red Faction. Like, there was this giant monster booth and then like, the ten by ten for Mega64.
JACK: Hi guys.
GUS: It was so weird.
BARB: And they live in San Diego.
JACK: Yeah, yeah.
BARB: So, it’s their turf.
JOEL: God, they’re- that’s- a- San Diego’s a- is gorgeous, has all the great weather of LA, without being LA.
BARB: Yeah.
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: It’s like you get-
BARB: That’s what I hear.
JOEL: -all the good part of LA, with it not being LA.
BARB: And is it apparently right by the water or something, the convention center?
JACK: Yeah, it’s quite cool.
JOEL: Yeah, I mean it’s- it’s-
GUS: It’s on Harbour Drive.
BARB: Ooh, fancy.
JOEL: And, next to Camp Pendleton.
BARB: It’s gonna be my first time there.
JACK: Yeah?
BARB: I’m psyched.
JACK: I’m- this is my second Comic Con. I’m excited.
GUS: Co- San Diego’s beautiful, I-I- Comic Con is a lot of work but it’s- San Diego’s so awesome.
JOEL: And the baseball stadiums right there too.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: E-every year, that I’ve went, I was always like, we should just go watch a game.
JOEL: Yeah.
GUS: We should just- let-let- let’s just delay set-up, we should go watch a Padres game, it's right there.
JOEL: Yeah, its just right there.
GUS: We’ve never done it.
JACK: So what does Comic Con o- does it open- there’s preview night, Wednesday night-
BARB: Wednesday night-
GUS: Yeah, that’s the eh- the-
JACK: Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
GUS: Yeah.
BARB: You and I fly out, probably Tuesday.
JOEL: Yeah.
JACK: We gotta take Barbara to Vegas.
BARB: I need to go to Vegas.
JOEL: We should take a bunch of people to Vegas.
JACK: We need to take Kerry to Vegas, he’s twenty one now. Take Barbara to Vegas.
BARB: Yeah man.
JOEL: They-
BARB: I’m about to be twenty-three.
JACK: Jesus Christ!
BARB: I know.
GUS: And you’re not married yet? Shit.
BARB: I know.
GUS: It’s fucking old maid over here.
JACK: And you’re not pregnant, come on, what’s going on?
BARB: So we’re gonna go-
GUS: Hey, hey, hey. Too far. Not cool.
JACK: Well she’s in America now.
BARB: Not (?)
JOEL: Cut that. I have a- I have a new act now.
BARB: So we’re going to a bunch of events this summer.
JACK: We are. Are we?
BARB: We’re going to, well we got Comic Con, we got RVBTO, we have FanExpo, we have Pax Prime and I think that’s it.
GUS: I hope I filled-
JOEL: That’s not too many.
GUS: I hope I filled out the FanExpo paperwork.
BARB: Uh-oh.
GUS: We should look into that.
BARB: Wuh-oh. Yeah we should.
GUS: After this podcast.
JOEL: Okay, we’re not going to Fan Expo.
JACK: Hey, speaking of which, Gus, you-you have less responsibility now.
GUS: Yes, uhm- I somehow suckered Adam into taking over my tech duties here at the office-
JACK: That’s cool.
GUS: -so that is now Adam’s domain.
JOEL: I walked into your office yesterday.
GUS: Okay.
JOEL: And I was like, hey I have this tech th- technical thing and I’m not sure how it can be done and Adam looked at you and you looked at Adam and Adam goes, “oh no man, that’s, God, that’s so hard, that just can’t, that just can’t be, I,” yeah I’m getting the tech guy spiel, y’know, where it’s just like, you don’t know, blah blah blah and then Jack walks in and goes, “hey you just do it like this.” And-
GUS: Did that work?
JOEL: -and. It works fine.
GUS: Oh, great.
JOEL: It works totally fine. So I don’t know what you guys . . .
BARB: So you figured it out and our tech guys-
JACK: I- no, I told-
JOEL: The company- the company-
JACK: -I told Joel how to do this like-
JOEL: -the company-
JACK: -weeks ago-
JOEL: -has finally gotten big enough-
JACK: -and he’s never listened to me.
JOEL: -the company’s gotten big enough now, now where we have employees that slow roll ya. Y’know, y’know where Adam- he’s got Star Wars open and he’s like “I’m not sure” and it’s like, man don’t me th- give me a fucking break. “I’m not sure.”
BARB: He’s trying to play you.
JACK: God yeah.
GUS: It’s pretty- its-its-its- a difficult request, but I’m glad you got it worked out.
JOEL: He did it! Jack did it in two seconds!
JACK: I told you! I told you how to do it last week!
JOEL: I was testing you.
JACK: And you were like “okay, I’ll try it.”
JOEL: Hey, wait, wait I didn’t know how it works-
JACK: You were like, [imitating JOEL] “Hey Adam, how come this doesn’t work,” and dude, it works and [imitating JOEL, mumbling], and then I do it and it works and you were like [imitating JOEL], “Hey it works.”
JOEL: Alright, cut that.
JACK: [Laughs]
GUS: I’ll be damned, you’re right. Mega64 is right next to us.
BARB: Yeah.
JACK: It’s pretty sweet.
BARB: Fucking Comic-
GUS: It’s pretty sad that I’m not at ComicCon.
JACK: You feel bad that you’re not going now, don’t you?
GUS: Yeah, now…yeah. It’s too bad.
JACK: We’ll be high-fiving Rocco and Shawn and Garrett.
GUS: Now, when you want to take a break and walk around and don’t have anywhere to walk to.
BARB: Garrett-
JOEL: That’s true.
GUS: When I was walking away from our booth, I’d always walk down the other end-
JOEL: -That’s true-
GUS: -of the hallway to visit their booth.
JOEL: -to go visit their booth, yeah.
BARB: [Chuckles]
GUS: Now when we walk over, it’s like, “Hey, what’s up? There’s my booth.”
JACK: You going to check out the McFarlane Toys?
GUS: Yeah…
JACK: There you go. Weee….[Laughs]
BARB: Weeeee……[Laughs]
JACK: A new Spawn figure. Number 30
GUS: Cut that.
[Everyone laughs]
GUS: Kidding, kidding, kidding. Then JOEL’s gonna say something-
JACK: This is the shortest damn podcast
BARB: Lindsay is going to be so damn confused.
JACK: So-
GUS: Pod…cast. Hi. Bye.
JACK: Bing.com
JOEL: So, when does Spider-Man come out?
JACK: July 3rd
BARB: July 3rd
GUS: I am not excited about that movie at all.
JOEL: Aaron... Flash linked something online or something or other about this-
JACK: Flash2000. He’s one of our moderators.
JOEL: -and it was one of those comic book strip and it was like a picture of Iron Man eating food off of a plate, and then like the next panel is Batman eating food off of a plate. Then the third panel is like Iron Man throwing food at Batman.
BARB: Go on.
JOEL: And then Batman throwing food at Iron Man. [laughs] The last panel is like Spider-Man on the ground just like picking up the scraps.
JACK: [laughs]
JOEL: It was like so metaphorical.
GUS: Yeah
BARB: Do you think you would be more excited for that movie if RTX was not that weekend?
GUS: No
BARB: No?
GUS: No
JOEL: I don’t get, like Spider-Man, like when the original Spider-Man came out, I watched, like the 20 minutes of it and I was like, “Nah, I can’t…I can’t digest this. This is not good.” And that was it. I gave up on the entire franchise from that moment forward.
BARB: Are you serious?
JOEL: I have not watched a single frame. I, like watched-
JACK: Dude, Spider-Man 2 was a great film
JOEL: -watching all the…the trailers is just like, “Hey, he’s swinging around-“
BARB: Spider-Man 3 however…-
JOEL: There’s nothing…I don’t understand, like, is there anything compelling going on over there?
JACK: Spider-Man 2? Absolutely.
JOEL: I mean, if you’re nine, I get it.
GUS: No, Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 were good.
BARB: It’s a good movie
JOEL: Was it?
JACK: Yeah
GUS: 3? Not so much
BARB: 3? Don’t bother with 3
JACK: 3 fell apart. No, Sam Raimi, I mean if you’re a big fan. I’m a fan of Sam Raimi. And like he did Evil Dead and Army of Darkness-
JOEL: Yeah, I like-
JACK: -and so like in Spider-Man 2, they let him off the hook a little bit and let him do some fun, kinda creepy stuff with Doc Ock.
JOEL: That’s cool.
JACK: In 3, they like sort of told him what to do and it’s terrible.
JOEL: Uh..
JACK: Like, “You need include these characters.”
JOEL: How many of them are there now?
JACK: There are three.
JOEL: And now, oh there’s only three?
JACK: Yeah, there’s three from the Tobey Maguire-
JOEL: And now they’re going to reboot it?
JACK: They’re rebooting it with Andrew Garfield-
BARB: Yeah
JACK: -who is Zuckerberg’s friend in [The] Social Network
BARB: And, uh, what’s her face…
GUS: He hates Mondays
[Awkward pause]
GUS: Garfield…
[Snoring]
BARB: [Laughs]
GUS: Wow, that totally crashed. Cut that.
[Everyone laughs]
BARB: No, leave it in. Leave it in.
JOEL: I mean it’s to the point now, where you’re going to sit down for a superhero movie and gonna get an hour into the movie, and then they’re going to reboot the franchise.
BARB: [Laughs] Yeah
JOEL: They’re going to start at the middle, and “No, no, no, no. We gotta start over.”
GUS: They’re already going to reboot the Superman franchise, right?
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: They had the one where-
JACK: They’re rebooting Batman.
BARB: What?
JACK: Like in three years. They’re releasing a brand new Batman.
GUS: Well, yeah. I mean they did. This, this one, The Dark Knight Rises will be the third Christopher Nolan one.
JACK: Yeah and they’re starting a new series. Like, because-
BARB: Do they know who’s going to be the new Batman?
JACK: I don’t think so, yet. They want to start a new franchise because-
BARB: [whispers] I’m Batman.
JACK: -Christopher Nolan’s Batman is too dark to have because they want to make a Justice League movie because [The] Avengers did so well.
GUS: Mm-hmm.
JACK: So they want to start linking all the DC characters –
GUS: Yeah, that makes-
JACK: -so it’s like Flash, and Superman, and Wonder Woman, and Batman.
GUS: Yeah, because The Dark Knight did so shitty in the box office.
JACK: Clearly
GUS: I can understand why they want to retool the formula.
JOEL: Basically-
JACK: It’s definitely a different tone.
JOEL: I mean, I basically think they’ve figured out the formula, and basically in the future, there’s just gonna be one movie.
JACK: [Laughs]
JOEL: It’s just going to be one movie and just keep redoing the same over and over again.
BARB: [Laughs]
JOEL: And we’ll have all the superheroes in that movie.
GUS: There’ll be different movies but there’ll be a movie for each genre, like….ACTION…DRAMA-
JOEL: There’s like five movies
GUS: -COMEDY. “Which one do you want to see today?”
BARB: I like how your voice changes.
GUS: “I want to see Comedy 3.”
JOEL: So wait-
[Everyone laughs]
JOEL: And they’re redoing Total Recall, right?
JACK: Yep, with Colin Farrell
JOEL: Now, is it the same exact…?
JACK: I don’t know, like-
JOEL: Is it shot-for-shot the same?
BARB: I don’t recall…[laughs]
JACK: No, no it’s not shot-for-shot.
JOEL: It’s not shot-for-shot the same?
GUS: Oh, God.
BARB: [Laughing] That joke never gets old.
JACK: No, it’s uh…I don’t know if they go to Mars, honestly. In the trailer, the trailer doesn’t say anything about Mars and that was the whole point of Total Recall. It was “Get your ass to Mars.”
[BARB laughing in background]
JOEL: I’ve seen… I saw one scene from it, and the scene…like the dialogue was the same.
JACK: Oh, was it?
JOEL: But who…I don’t know.
JACK: Well, I mean it’s uhh…it’s John Cho. Is that his name? He plays the creepy dude with blonde hair who gets the guy into the Rekall machine. Colin Farrell…the Rekall machine?...[pause]… No, okay-
BARB: Wow
JACK: -Anyone else watch the trailer?
GUS: Yeah, yeah. I know what you’re talking about. I was looking it up and [The] Dark Knight is the number four highest grossing movie of all time.
JACK: Wow.
BARB: What are the top three?
GUS: Avatar, Titanic, and The Avengers. [Laughs]
BARB: Oh, wow.
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: So say that Bat….really?
GUS: Yep
BARB: That’s incredible
GUS: [The] Dark Knight. Number four.
JACK: Where do you think Titanic is at?
BARB: Is Harry Potter up there on the list?
JACK: Yeah, it’s up there.
GUS: See, that’s why I was like, “I can’t believe they want to change the tone of the film when the movie they just released, the most recent one, is the fourth highest grossing movie of all time?”
BARB: And it’s like one character-
GUS: Yeah
BARB: -it’s not a group of characters. It did that well.
GUS: Harry Potter uhh….
JACK: It’s number five.
BARB: It’s gotta be up there on the top ten.
GUS: Hmmm….no. Looking at all time…
BARB: The Deathly Hallows…
JACK: Deathly Hallows, Pt. 2?
GUS: -Domestic. Pt.2 is fifteen.
JACK: Wow
BARB: Really?
JOEL: Aw, jeez…
BARB: What’s 6, 7, and 8?
GUS: I’m looking at domestic.
JACK: Oh, ok. I was thinking worldwide.
GUS: So, it’s uh, after [The] Dark Knight, it’s Episode I Star Wars, Shrek 2, E.T. This must be-
BARB: Shrek 2 [Blows raspberry]
GUS: -oh, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lion King, Toy’s Story 3, Spider-Man. Hunger Games?
JACK: Jesus
JOEL: Really?
GUS: Transformers, Harry Potter
BARB: Dude, Hunger Games was a good movie.
GUS: Hunger Games pulled in $402 million domestically.
JOEL: It’s already gone, isn’t it? Is in in theatres?
BARB: I think it’s still out in theatres.
GUS: I’m sure it’ll be On Demand soon. Like, I just watched 21 Jumpstreet finally on Zune this past weekend.
JACK: Is that good?
GUS: It was better than I expected.
BARB: Wasn’t that in theaters yesterday?
JACK: You know what JOEL’s excited for? Magic Mike. He’s been talking about it like nonstop.
GUS: I’ve been-
JACK: Let’s go see Magic Mike.
JOEL: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
BARB: No, no, no, I’m excited for Magic Mike.
GUS: Last night on the Rooster Teeth Sponsor Chat, I started…I played the trailer for Magic Mike. I was like, “Let’s go watch Magic Mike this weekend.”
BARB: GUS and I were on the Sponsor Chat last night-
JACK: Oh yeah?
BARB: -and uh, people were watching some videos that GUS was posting and some of them were a little bit questionable like Wally World.
JACK: I got yelled at for that.
GUS: Yeah, I played Wally World-
JACK: Wallawallawallawall…..
GUS: -I played the uncensored Tip Drill movie
JACK: Oh, God
JOEL: Nothing questionable about Wally World.
JACK: Wally World is like…what I played was less risqué than Wally World video.
BARB: Yeah, but this is also like at 2 in the morning.
JACK: Whatever.
GUS: Yeah, it’s pretty lame.
JACK: People should be at work. [Laughs]
GUS: You, uh….you have the Kate Upton
JACK: Yeah I have the Kate Upton channel-
BARB: You actually have a room.
JACK: -so if you’re a sponsor, it’s uh /chat/kateupton
BARB: It’s roosterteeth.com/chat, then you can see all the chat rooms.
JACK: /kateupton. It’s the best channel we have.
BARB: [Laughs]
JACK: It’s a 30-minute loop, doing the Cat Daddy
BARB: Yeah, I love those Sponsor Chats with the ability to embed a video.
GUS: Yeah
BARB: I was demanding “Hipster Cat” for an hour.
JACK: So if any-
JOEL: I’m sorry, JACK. What is that? What you were saying?
JACK: [Laughs] Go to roosterteeth.com/chat/kateupton
GUS: Does that work or is just “/chat” and you have to look for it?
JACK: I think that /…Yeah, JOEL you should try that. See if it takes you right to it. [Slight pause]…and it should be a 30-minute video.
GUS: It should be like right there near the top.
BARB: Yeah, if you just…go to sponsor-
JACK: Anyway, if you create a room, if you’re a sponsor and you create a room, are you able to embed stuff or-
BARB: No, it’s only staff members.
JACK: Oh, ok
BARB: But you could create a room, kick people out, or make it private. Whatever you want.
JACK: Cool.
BARB: So, you have control over you room
JACK: So there’s a bunch of cool rooms there. There’s the DayZ rooms in there.
BARB: Yes
JACK: Sponsor Chat is always hoppin.’ And the Kate Upton chat is….loads of fun.
GUS: It’s always bouncin’
JACK: Yeah [laughs]
JOEL: Created by JACK
BARB: There’s always people in that chat.
GUS: Yeah
BARB: It’s awesome.
JACK: Yeah, it’s pretty cool. And BARB, you’re making, what, cupcakes in your room
BARB: Yeah [snickers]. We talked about it, I think, last week on the podcast
GUS: We should have a dueling cupcake bakeoff
BARB: I tried to bake and I, I let people watch, unfortunately.
JOEL: How’d that go?
BARB: Pretty good.
JOEL: Are you capable at baking now?
BARB: I am.
JOEL: Are you?
BARB: I’m officially now a woman.
JACK: [Laughs]
JOEL: I’m not… the thing is that I’m not sure about baking because the result of baking is always bad.
BARB: [Snickers]
JOEL: It’s always going to be sugary, bad…
BARB: They weren’t that sugary. They were like coconut and pineapple cupcakes. So it was like using the natural sugars of the earth. [Laughs]
GUS: Sugar is a natural sugar of the earth
BARB: Shut the fuck up
GUS: I hate to tell you that.
JOEL: I’m not going to lie-
BARB: It’s non-processed
JACK: What’s up, JOEL?
JOEL: -that’s good. You done good work
JACK: [Laughs] The one with her dancing?
BARB: It’s a good video
JACK: It’s it has music too, so you can just let it play and let it keep going, and going-
BARB: -And going.
JACK: -and going, and going
[GUS laughs]
JOEL: Like-
GUS: I don’t think…the music is the important part
JOEL: -she is that happy all the time ‘cause she knows how hot she is.
JACK: There’s uh…there’s another video-
JOEL: So she’s just happy
GUS: So I’ve heard
JACK: There’s another video of her at a Clippers game doing the…dancing to the Dougie-
GUS: The Dougie
JACK: -and it’s like the most, like, hot-
BARB: That’s like your favorite video
JACK: That is like the hottest, most adorable thing ever.
GUS: Yeah
JACK: Like, she somehow managed to be cute and incredibly hot.
GUS: I think after you left last night, people were asking for the Kate Upton video. That one, doing the Cat Daddy. So I embedded the Dougie one instead.
JACK: Ah, she’s so cute
BARB: Did you teach her how to Dougie? Winky face.
JACK: I wish
[BARB and JACK laughing]
JACK: So, she’s what, only 19, too.
JOEL: She’s 19?
GUS: 19 or 20, something like that.
BARB: EWWWW!!!! Oh, ewwww. Ah, no!!
JACK: What?
BARB: I don’t like…I don’t like thinking about that. You looking at a 19 year old girl dance naked...
JACK: Wh-what?
GUS: She’s not naked
JACK: She’s not naked
JOEL: Some people look more mature than others
BARB: She’s practically naked.
JOEL: She’s mature for her age. You can tell by the way she dances.
BARB: I just feel like that’s too young.
JACK: Well, that’s not my fault.
[Everyone snickers]
JACK: I don’t…I don’t wait ‘til how old she can be.
JOEL: She too young to be dancing?
GUS: What’s, what’s uhh…how old is too old for you? What’s the oldest guy you’d go out with?
BARB: Um…probably early thirties.
GUS: Early thirties. So, ten year difference?
BARB: Yeah
GUS: So, are you a ten-year difference from Kate Upton, JACK?
JACK: I’m thirty, so…
GUS: Eleven years. So, why…?
BARB: But she’s also under 21. It’s different. I don’t know.
JACK: Ahh…
GUS: Ehh…I don’t know. I think you just got caught in a double standard.
JACK: What’s it like up there in your high horse? Is it nice?
BARB: It’s pretty good, actually.
JACK: Is it comfy? Is it hot up there?
BARB: She’s just under 21. It just weirds me out a little bit.
GUS: So it wouldn’t be weird if she was 21?
JOEL: It’s good that BARB-
BARB: She just graduated high school. Think about that.
JOEL: It’s good that BARB is on the podcast-
JACK: She probably didn’t go to high school.
JOEL: -because what you’re expressing I’m sure isn’t uncommon to like…
BARB: The girls listening?
JOEL: Yeah, you know.
JACK: Both of them? Well, if you’re here, that means that’s one less…
BARB: Shout out to the girl listening to the podcast.
GUS: Besides Lindsay.
JOEL: But this is like-
JACK: That’s true. Shit!
[BARB laughs]
JOEL: This is like a debate, an eternal debate that will go on beyond us.
JACK: JOEL is getting derailed by this video. You’re just watching that video, aren’t you? [Laughs]
JOEL: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
JACK: Like, his eyes are trained in the upper left hand corner of his monitor.
GUS: Th-that is where the video is. Look at you.
JACK: Yeah, yeah. I can tell.
[BARB laughs]
JOEL: What’s wrong with YouTube lately? It’s like not playing
GUS: It’s paused. That’s what’s going on.
[JACK laughs]
[BARB laughs]
JOEL: Goddammit. It’s not paused. It’s not paused.
GUS: There it goes.
JOEL: It’s not paused
JACK: I will say that YouTube has been going really, really slow lately. It seems like the Internet in general has been going really slow lately.
GUS: I’ve been having a lot of problems with YouTube, too. I thought it was just me.
BARB: Yep, YouTube-
JACK: I switched over the Chrome, and Chrome helps a lot.
JOEL: It’s slowly like Twitter and YouTube lately have been just like, really having problems.
[BARB laughing uncontrollably]
JOEL: It’s like, is this part of a larger….
[BARB continues to laugh uncontrollably]
GUS: I have no idea what’s wrong with her
JACK: BARB’s losing her shit.
JOEL: Is this part of a larger plan to-
BARB: GUS is playing with the wire on his headphones around his face
JACK: What? People do stuff.
GUS: Maybe we’re-
BARB: It’s really funny. I’m sorry.
JACK: Maybe he’s self-conscious
GUS: I do this every week
BARB: [Laughing] He’s looking at me in the eyes.
GUS: So, you’re saying that it’s a larger problem with infrastructure-
[BARB continues to laugh]
GUS: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
[JACK laughs]
JOEL: Is this part of a larger scheme to-
JACK: GUS is going to throw his chair
JOEL: -charge us money for more bandwidth? Like, this is what we’re going to do
GUS: Like uh-oh, there’s only so much Internet
JOEL: We’re going to start slowing this down a lot. And then we’re gonna be like, “ Ah, I see, you gotta pay for certain structured plan. Otherwise…” Alright, now you’re freaking me out. You gotta stop.
[BARB laughs]
GUS: Sorry, sorry, I do it like every week. Why are people freaking out?
JOEL: Go for it
BARB: I’ve never seen you do that before.
JACK: GUS, I saw a movie I think you would appreciate. I told JOEL about this yesterday, too. I think JOEL would appreciate it, too. But you have Netflix Instant, right?
GUS: Yeah
JACK: Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop
JOEL: I think you’ve lost it. What’s the matter with you?
JACK: Goddamn you, JOEL
GUS: Oh, I hated it. I hated Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop.
JOEL: Why?
GUS: It was boring as fuck.
BARB: Is it a documentary?
GUS: It just dragged on and I thought it was too, like self-serving.
JACK: It’s a documentary about Conan O’Brien, like that period when got laid off from the Tonight Show and he was doing that tour. So, basically it’s a documentary about the planning and the actual event of the tour.
BARB: Oh, I think I did see it and I hated it. And I love Conan O’Brien
GUS: Me, too
BARB: Like he’s my favorite stand up-
JOEL: See, it’s not playing. It stopped playing
JACK: Well, if that video’s gonna stop playing, that’s a fine video to let it stop…anyway.
GUS: Reload it
BARB: Freeze frame is fine.
JACK: So, uh, but like in that movie, he talks about like how he’s depleted and you know he talks about, like, you know, people asking him to do things and he’s like-. Even for example, when he went to Bonnaroo, he’s sitting there and people, like, “Oh yeah, you’re supposed to introduce…” And he’s like, “I didn’t sign up for that.” “Well somebody did.” And he’s like, “Where’s that person?” and no one knows.
GUS: Mm-hmm
JACK: See, that’s the kind of stuff I see you deal with.
GUS: Mm-hmm
JACK: And I figured you would relate to that. And, you know, you know like it’s not the actual event that kills you. It’s the everything before and after the event that kills you.
GUS: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
JACK: Like that kind of stuff I feel like that seems very relatable
GUS: I...I guess it is but I don’t think myself or I don’t think of any of us encountering situations like that, even though we have encountered situations like that. Like, I’ve seen, like that’s a whole other level. Like, that’s legitimate-
JACK: Yeah
GUS: -issues. Ours are like [whining noise].
[JACK laughs]
JOEL: Wait. Stop. What?
GUS: I look at that, like, I don’t feel like I identify with that
JACK: Yeah
JOEL: With Conan O’Brien’s journey?
GUS: Like that level of…level of problem
JACK: It’s scale, you know. Well, you know, at the same time
JOEL: Well, you and I were talking about this and it’s like, “Aw, it’s hard. You gotta do this. You gotta do that.” And it’s hard and this and that, but you got to ask yourself, “How much is Conan O’Brien worth?”
[Everyone laughs]
JOEL: And it’s you know, “Oh he’s worth 75 million dollars.” And you like, “HE’S WORTH 75 MILLION DOLLARS!!!!”
JACK: Yeah.
JOEL: “YOU DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS!!!”
JACK: Conan O’Brien is worth like 75 million dollars
JOEL: He, uh, he has to travel from city to city IN HIS PRIVATE JET!!!
JACK: [Snickers]
JOEL: In his private jet. You don’t have to travel in that.
JACK: But it’s paid for.
JOEL: YOU DON’T HAVE TO TRAVEL IN THAT!!! YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS!!! YOU DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS!!! It’s like that actor who dropped out, um, because he wanted to be a rapper.
GUS: Who?
JACK: Oh, um…yeah, um…
GUS: Joaquin Phoenix?
JACK: Yeah, Joaquin Phoenix.
JOEL: Yeah, and he made a documentary about [imitating Joaquin Phoenix] oh the artistic struggle of him going from being an actor to…and that was self-serving.
JACK: I don’t know if that was real or not.
GUS: No, that was, no…
JACK: You don’t think it was real?
GUS: No
BARB: It couldn’t have been.
JOEL: I thought it was pretty real
BARB: He’s a jokester.
GUS: I thought he-
JOEL: Because it was too lame for it, to be fake.
GUS: No, like, didn’t he go back on Letterman afterwards and like, talked about it and plugged it like he was in character before?
JOEL: I think he…-
JACK: I don’t know
JOEL: I don’t think that…I think that if was doing that, he was trying to save face.
GUS: Hmm…
JACK: He may have been, like, he was gonna think that, “Oh, this is going to be funny.” But then no one found it funny. But, you know, like, he was like already, you know, knee deep into it, and he was like, “Oh, I guess I have to keep doing it.” And it get, you know-
JOEL: I don’t think that-
BARB: He’s like, “I actually have to change into this character.”
JACK: Yeah, and he just keeps going further and further down the rabbit hole-
JOEL: Yeaahhhh….
JACK: -and he’s like, “Fuck.” And then he just got buried in it.
JOEL: Doesn’t that even matter? Doesn’t even matter if it’s fake or not? It was…it was dumb.
[JACK laughs]
JOEL: I mean, it was just, the documentary was; how do you sit down and watch that documentary about yourself and then-
JACK: BARB is rubbing her face on the pop filter
BARB: I do it every week.
GUS: Who was it that directed it? Was it Casey Affleck who directed it or something?
JACK: Yeah, I think so.
GUS: Hmm…
JOEL: Yeah, just what I want to see is the relative of a famous guy. You know, it’s like-
GUS: Wait ‘til you see this new movie my cousin’s making. It’s gonna be awesome.
[Everyone laughs]
JOEL: I don’t know…
JACK: This podcast, GUS’s uncle working on..
GUS: That’s my uncle.
BARB: That’s my uncle…oooooohhh
GUS: Well, so last week, JayOrDan [Jordan Cwierz] put out that, uh, uh, scripted episode 50 of Animated Adventure.
JACK: THAT WAS SCRIPTED?!!
BARB: [sarcastically] No…
GUS: [Laughs] Did not actually happen. I thought that was, people received it pretty well.
BARB: A lot of people were saying that was their favorite one.
JACK: Love the Burnies.