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FRANK: Yeah I don’t think you did oversell me when I came out, I think I-uh yeah.
BURNIE: The smartest man from the UK.
FRANK: Exactly, I’m like Stephen Hawking plus the Fawns.
BURNIE: So listen, I-I-I’m-
FRANK: And some Mr.Clean.
BURNIE: I’ll go all in here, I don’t know- what the hell is important about this thing, they find it, and what does it mean?
JOEL: It unifies the model, right?
GUS: She keeps raising her hand. You must obviously go to the microphone to explain what it means.
BURNIE: You keep saying, Joel, it unifies the model. What model?! And what does it unify?
FRANK: The model- the model of Quantum Mechanics is very significant implications in string theory as well, it helps that model too.
BURNIE: Nobody’s saying anything- the topic is-
GUS: Is your- is your mic on? Can you explain it?
FAN: Uhhhh…
CROWD: Yeah.
FAN: It is on? Can y’all hear me?
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: Yes.
FAN: Okay, from my understanding the Higgs Boson is a uhh subatomic particle that helps us understand how other sub- hold on- subatomic particles have mass-
JOEL: Uh that’s-
FAN: -Because right now-
JOEL: Yeah, that’s what I meant to say.
FAN: - a lot of them- we don’t know-
JOEL: Yeah.
FAN: -Why we don’t- and the Higgs Boson is the key for us to understand why subatomical- pff- sub-atomic-particles have mass.
JOEL: After the Big Bang-
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: No- No- Nothing had mass. Right?
BURNIE: Right.
JOEL: And then the Higgs field came in-
BURNIE: Certainly not this conversation.
JOEL: -after the Big Bang and then the particles gained mass. Except for protons! Protons still don’t have mass, but other protons-
CROWD: Just say no!
JOEL: -other-other particles, see th-
CROWD: PROTONS!
JOEL: The drinking doesn’t help the science people.
BURNIE: This was the part of the live podcast that I was really anticipating which is where we talk out of our ass for like 15 minutes at a time, and you guys are going, ”SHUT UP. SH-SHUT UP, YOU’RE WRONG.” And we- none of us in the room have any clue that we’re completely wrong, and we just keep going and it’s like… We’re right just by complete ignorance, it’s like mass ignorance somehow makes us right.
FRANK: You quantum physicists are super angry right now. But like, what are they gonna do, really.
BURNIE: Yeah t-
FRANK: C’mon, bring it.
BURNIE: They’re also mad that we introduced you as the smartest man from the UK probably.
FRANK: Y-Yeah, tough. You can’t prove I’m not.
BURNIE: Y’know-
FRANK: Except for the… simple math quiz.
BURNIE: My d- my dad actually worked on the supercollider that was in Dallas.
GUS: Oh.
BURNIE: That they shut down. Yeah. So-
GUS: You mean the one that they never opened.
BURNIE: Yeah, l- yeah.
GUS: Th-they started working on it-
JOEL: I hear they tried to turn it into a ride…
GUS: -I think they dug like twenty miles of tunnel and then stopped.
BURNIE: Yeah it’s like-
FRANK: Now it’s a bowling alley.
BURNIE: No you know actually, you know what they did? Since it’s underground and tunnels- a mushroom farm bought it. How sad is that?
GUS: Yeah from what I understand, it would’ve been more powerful than uh CERN, then the uhh the collider they have now in CERN.
JOEL: Yeah it was like uhh 4x bigger?
GUS: Yeah much bigger, and they were building it in the- it was a cold war project I believe-
JOEL: Wow.
GUS: -that uhh...
BURNIE: Are yo-
GUS: ... That they had worked on at uhh...
BURNIE: I just like that Dallas lost that but got a NASCAR track.
GUS: It's the same thing, they shoulda just repurposed it- the first underground NASCAR track. So is it- I-it's like the NASCAR sciences? The electrons just keep going left.
JOEL: I'd totally watch NASCAR. That would be the greatest thing ever! Might be the crashiest.
GUS: People go for the crashes! It's the exact same thing!
JOEL: That's exactly right! That's how I got to the conclusion faster! It would be more entertaining.
BURNIE: Yeah.
FRANK: But it's be the Higgs Buick.
BURNIE: So what is-
JOEL: Bu-
BURNIE: What is-
JOEL: But let me get weirder here on this...
BURNIE: But what is it, th-they-they-they- it's a particle accelerator-
JOEL: Right.
BURNIE: -and the particle collider, super collider... What is it, does it accelerate an electron? Just one electron versus one electron?
FRANK: Pfftttt, I don't know.
BURNIE: Two go in one comes out kind of deal? Is that what it is?
JOEL: I-
FAN: They use protons!
JACK: Please let Joel answer this.
BURNIE: See look dude, everybody in the audience is going like aughhh this. That's not science! That's not an answer. I don't understand what colliding is, that's the part I got down. But is it like what, is it one electron, is that what it is?
CROWD: NEUTRONS!
JOEL: Neutrons.
BURNIE: Neutrons suck. Pick a side you pacifist- yeah hey, get up to the mic buddy, whoever you are in the back.
FRANK: this is like a nerd ghetto version of a prairie home companion.
GUS: DO NOT- we DO NOT talk about NPR on this podcast.
BURNIE: Yeah, yeah yeah.
FRANK: But we got the audience, I've got a banjo, I could do some folk stuff.
FAN: Hello? Can you hear?
BURNIE: Yeah we can hear.
FAN: Alright uhh, what a collider is, is a - I now ? To Monty, here's a good Halo analogy uhhh... A Mac Cannon is a magnetically accelerated cannon.
BURNIE: Right.
FAN: Which, so it- usually the magnetic fields are projected- projectile and blow stuff up. So, instead of that they just put it in a doughnut and instead of giant tunkin' bullets-
BURNIE: I'm totally following this. Keep goin'.
FAN: -Uhh you just have one- t-two little protons. And it could be a-
FRANK: I thought it was neutrons! Everyone was yelling this out-
BURNIE: You're on- yeah you're gonna piss off the neutron camp.
FAN: Well they both have mass and they both work well depending on what experiment you wanna do. Basically, you spin them around, that's why they have to be so big to go so fast, nearly 99.- into how many nines you want into the speed of light.
BURNIE: Uh-huh.
FAN: And then basically they send them into another chamber, and that's where they actually collide, and where they collide, uhm are the sensors where they pick up the various particles that actually collide when it happens with the smash and all these... Little particles and traces and so forth and I mean- it gets- it’s a little crazy I can't even explain it, but basically-
JOEL: Fuckin’ magnets!
BURNIE: So ima-
FRANK: There's something about what you said that-
BURNIE: Uhh.
JOEL: Fuckin' magnets!
GUS: Well, thank you for taking a microphone.
JOEL: Fuckin’-
BURNIE: They will-
JOEL: I- n- magnets.
BURNIE: Listen-
JOEL: If I d-
FRANK: It’s still better than Joel’s explanation.
GUS: Come up here you and the other girl that was up here, let me give you both Anza controllers as well.
BURNIE: Yeah he- hey listen, relating science to Halo, that’s on my level, so, I appreciate it. So what are we- what are we hoping to learn from this. Okay, am I gonna teleport out of this?
JOEL: Apparently… I’m sorry what?
BURNIE: Am I gonna get a teleporter out of this or what do I get out of this?
JOEL: You’re never getting anything, you’re never gonna learn anything.
FRANK: you’ll ge- you’ll get stuff. You’ll probably get a better cell phone reception or something boring like that.
BURNIE: I’ll take it.
JOEL: Microwave faster. Apparently there’s uhmm…
CROWD: WHOOOOAAAA!!!!
BURNIE: Wow nice.
GUS: Someone said Mass Effect 3, I brought that out, we’ll give that away later. Do- so ignore that for now.
FRANK: It’s very heavy.
BURNIE: Wow. Holy moly it-
JOEL: Is that part of the Hadron Collider? Is that what they use to shoot that one. See I just dig myself into these holes.
FAN: Go on....!
BURNIE: Okay, so…
JOEL: APPARENTLY, there are other dimensions. Apparently, mathematically-
FRANK: NOOOOOO.
JOEL: -there are other dimensions.
BURNIE: Shut up, let ‘im go, let ‘im go.
JACK: N-No when Joel- when Joel was excited about the Higgs Boson, that was like- there’s other universes now, there’s other dimensions!
JOEL: No, no- nononono no. Not other universes-
JACK: Okay, please explain this Joel.
JOEL: - Other dimensions.
GUS: So what’s the difference between another universe and another dimension?
JOEL: I- I don’t fuckin’ know.
GUS: You were very clear right there!
JOEL: It’s weird when even Jack turns on you, that’s when you know you’re on the fuckin’ bottom.
FRANK: So I actually know the answer to this.
GUS: Okay, please.
FRANK: Well it’s boring, and I can’t describe it properly ‘cause y-y-imagine describing UP to some- one of the flatlanders to the famous Thought Experiment. O-Other dimensions are literally other dimensions in space, right? So you’ve got up, down, left, right, forward, backward.
GUS: Right.
FRANK: There’s another one, we can’t see it, in theory. One of the reasons we can’t see it is ‘cause they’re very very small. That’s it. That’s where we’re at. Loads of different directions that we can’t sense or see, but they-they have given and shaped evidence upon the very fabric of the universe.
MONTY: So how is this going to influence Halo?
FRANK: Uhhhh…
JOEL: How are you gonna incorporate this into Halo 4?
MONTY: Yes.
FRANK: Uhh, well. We’ll go down to about 8 frames per second.
JOEL: When we- when we had one?
FRANK: Uh yeah.
BURNIE: No, that actually makes sense because Joel is used to dealing with things that are very very very small, so that’s helpful.
GUS: Ohhhhhh…
JOEL: You just set me up on this- a small set up here and I’m not gonna…
BURNIE: Joel always tells us jokes that he’s not gonna tell us.
JOEL: Noo…
BURNIE: So.
GUS: Well th-those are the best kind of jokes. Th-Those ones never bomb.
BURNIE: Oh yeah.
GUS: Well they never come out.
BURNIE: They don’t bomb. They just fizzle. Alright, so what else should we talk about Gus, what else is goin’ on in the news?
GUS: Uhmm…
BURNIE: Any videogame news that came out?
GUS: I-I-I-I don’t know. If it didn’t happen in this building, I don’t know about it.
BURNIE: What’s that?
FAN: Spelunking.
BURNIE: Oh, spelunking? I don’t know what that is, it sounds like a Minecraft clone just off the…
FAN: It’s like an arcade- road-like cave dwelling game.
BURNIE: Road-like cave dwelling game.
JOEL: Monty would love that.
MONTY: Mmmm.
BURNIE: Guys what’s the la- Jack what’s the last arcade game you guys have been playing?
JACK: Well w-w-w-we’ve been playing Minecraft like non-stop-
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: -for the last couple of months. And uh, yeah Spelunking just hit this past week, or this past Wednesday on Xbox Arcade. It’s one of the new 400 point Xbox Live Arcade games. Are you excited about that?
BURNIE: What’s that?
JACK: The 400 point arcade games now?
BURNIE: Uhmm, I’ll be honest, I’ve been so busy with RTX that I haven’t had a chance to play a whole lot. I’m actually kinda like working my- I-I’m- you know what, I’m gonna be pathetic here. I’m gonna give up. I’ve been trying to beat… this one achievement on Left 4 Dead 2 for about two years now, and I just gotta give up and find some ringers, ‘cause I cannot beat Expert level campaigns. I just can’t do it! And th-th- you can do it? Dude stand up, I can’t believe- You have a Jack beard, that is like the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
FRANK: Wow.
BURNIE: Yeah. Yeah. Somehow it being fake doesn’t make it less gross. Somehow. I’m not sure.
JOEL: You and Jack should make out.
BURNIE: Eughhh.
JOEL: You should all take pictures.
BURNIE: EUHUUUHHHH.
JACK: How do we- how do we get to-
JOEL: And Burnie’s vomiting. You just wathc two AHWU’s go at it in the wild.
BURNIE: -GAG- Where’s Gavin? Oh man.
JOEL: Turn into Nature Channel.
JACK: Well, hey Burnie, the problem is-
BURNIE: No, stop!
JACK: No, the beard hair would catch?
BURNIE: Eughh, ohh.
JACK: Run into any excess food-
JOEL: Inter-locking.
JACK: - would lock together.
FAN: This is Velcro.
JACK: Yeah, l-like Burnie…
GUS: Like- that’s awesome!
JACK: Burnie, if you and I were to get really close, our beard hairs would slowly go towards each other.
JOEL: Eugghhhh.
JACK: Kind of like- you know the aliens reconnect after getting de- yeah, it’s kind of like that where it’s sort of building together-
BURNIE: EUUGHHHHH.
JACK: I-It would probably have this weird taste in your mouth, that would- right in the back of your throat…
JOEL: This is like the protein f-
FRANK: Yeah I don’t think you did oversell me when I came out, I think I-uh yeah.
BURNIE: The smartest man from the UK.
FRANK: Exactly, I’m like Stephen Hawking plus the Fawns.
BURNIE: So listen, I-I-I’m-
FRANK: And some Mr.Clean.
BURNIE: I’ll go all in here, I don’t know- what the hell is important about this thing, they find it, and what does it mean?
JOEL: It unifies the model, right?
GUS: She keeps raising her hand. You must obviously go to the microphone to explain what it means.
BURNIE: You keep saying, Joel, it unifies the model. What model?! And what does it unify?
FRANK: The model- the model of Quantum Mechanics is very significant implications in string theory as well, it helps that model too.
BURNIE: Nobody’s saying anything- the topic is-
GUS: Is your- is your mic on? Can you explain it?
FAN: Uhhhh…
CROWD: Yeah.
FAN: It is on? Can y’all hear me?
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: Yes.
FAN: Okay, from my understanding the Higgs Boson is a uhh subatomic particle that helps us understand how other sub- hold on- subatomic particles have mass-
JOEL: Uh that’s-
FAN: -Because right now-
JOEL: Yeah, that’s what I meant to say.
FAN: - a lot of them- we don’t know-
JOEL: Yeah.
FAN: -Why we don’t- and the Higgs Boson is the key for us to understand why subatomical- pff- sub-atomic-particles have mass.
JOEL: After the Big Bang-
GUS: Yeah.
JOEL: No- No- Nothing had mass. Right?
BURNIE: Right.
JOEL: And then the Higgs field came in-
BURNIE: Certainly not this conversation.
JOEL: -after the Big Bang and then the particles gained mass. Except for protons! Protons still don’t have mass, but other protons-
CROWD: Just say no!
JOEL: -other-other particles, see th-
CROWD: PROTONS!
JOEL: The drinking doesn’t help the science people.
BURNIE: This was the part of the live podcast that I was really anticipating which is where we talk out of our ass for like 15 minutes at a time, and you guys are going, ”SHUT UP. SH-SHUT UP, YOU’RE WRONG.” And we- none of us in the room have any clue that we’re completely wrong, and we just keep going and it’s like… We’re right just by complete ignorance, it’s like mass ignorance somehow makes us right.
FRANK: You quantum physicists are super angry right now. But like, what are they gonna do, really.
BURNIE: Yeah t-
FRANK: C’mon, bring it.
BURNIE: They’re also mad that we introduced you as the smartest man from the UK probably.
FRANK: Y-Yeah, tough. You can’t prove I’m not.
BURNIE: Y’know-
FRANK: Except for the… simple math quiz.
BURNIE: My d- my dad actually worked on the supercollider that was in Dallas.
GUS: Oh.
BURNIE: That they shut down. Yeah. So-
GUS: You mean the one that they never opened.
BURNIE: Yeah, l- yeah.
GUS: Th-they started working on it-
JOEL: I hear they tried to turn it into a ride…
GUS: -I think they dug like twenty miles of tunnel and then stopped.
BURNIE: Yeah it’s like-
FRANK: Now it’s a bowling alley.
BURNIE: No you know actually, you know what they did? Since it’s underground and tunnels- a mushroom farm bought it. How sad is that?
GUS: Yeah from what I understand, it would’ve been more powerful than uh CERN, then the uhh the collider they have now in CERN.
JOEL: Yeah it was like uhh 4x bigger?
GUS: Yeah much bigger, and they were building it in the- it was a cold war project I believe-
JOEL: Wow.
GUS: -that uhh...
BURNIE: Are yo-
GUS: ... That they had worked on at uhh...
BURNIE: I just like that Dallas lost that but got a NASCAR track.
GUS: It's the same thing, they shoulda just repurposed it- the first underground NASCAR track. So is it- I-it's like the NASCAR sciences? The electrons just keep going left.
JOEL: I'd totally watch NASCAR. That would be the greatest thing ever! Might be the crashiest.
GUS: People go for the crashes! It's the exact same thing!
JOEL: That's exactly right! That's how I got to the conclusion faster! It would be more entertaining.
BURNIE: Yeah.
FRANK: But it's be the Higgs Buick.
BURNIE: So what is-
JOEL: Bu-
BURNIE: What is-
JOEL: But let me get weirder here on this...
BURNIE: But what is it, th-they-they-they- it's a particle accelerator-
JOEL: Right.
BURNIE: -and the particle collider, super collider... What is it, does it accelerate an electron? Just one electron versus one electron?
FRANK: Pfftttt, I don't know.
BURNIE: Two go in one comes out kind of deal? Is that what it is?
JOEL: I-
FAN: They use protons!
JACK: Please let Joel answer this.
BURNIE: See look dude, everybody in the audience is going like aughhh this. That's not science! That's not an answer. I don't understand what colliding is, that's the part I got down. But is it like what, is it one electron, is that what it is?
CROWD: NEUTRONS!
JOEL: Neutrons.
BURNIE: Neutrons suck. Pick a side you pacifist- yeah hey, get up to the mic buddy, whoever you are in the back.
FRANK: this is like a nerd ghetto version of a prairie home companion.
GUS: DO NOT- we DO NOT talk about NPR on this podcast.
BURNIE: Yeah, yeah yeah.
FRANK: But we got the audience, I've got a banjo, I could do some folk stuff.
FAN: Hello? Can you hear?
BURNIE: Yeah we can hear.
FAN: Alright uhh, what a collider is, is a - I now ? To Monty, here's a good Halo analogy uhhh... A Mac Cannon is a magnetically accelerated cannon.
BURNIE: Right.
FAN: Which, so it- usually the magnetic fields are projected- projectile and blow stuff up. So, instead of that they just put it in a doughnut and instead of giant tunkin' bullets-
BURNIE: I'm totally following this. Keep goin'.
FAN: -Uhh you just have one- t-two little protons. And it could be a-
FRANK: I thought it was neutrons! Everyone was yelling this out-
BURNIE: You're on- yeah you're gonna piss off the neutron camp.
FAN: Well they both have mass and they both work well depending on what experiment you wanna do. Basically, you spin them around, that's why they have to be so big to go so fast, nearly 99.- into how many nines you want into the speed of light.
BURNIE: Uh-huh.
FAN: And then basically they send them into another chamber, and that's where they actually collide, and where they collide, uhm are the sensors where they pick up the various particles that actually collide when it happens with the smash and all these... Little particles and traces and so forth and I mean- it gets- it’s a little crazy I can't even explain it, but basically-
JOEL: Fuckin’ magnets!
BURNIE: So ima-
FRANK: There's something about what you said that-
BURNIE: Uhh.
JOEL: Fuckin' magnets!
GUS: Well, thank you for taking a microphone.
JOEL: Fuckin’-
BURNIE: They will-
JOEL: I- n- magnets.
BURNIE: Listen-
JOEL: If I d-
FRANK: It’s still better than Joel’s explanation.
GUS: Come up here you and the other girl that was up here, let me give you both Anza controllers as well.
BURNIE: Yeah he- hey listen, relating science to Halo, that’s on my level, so, I appreciate it. So what are we- what are we hoping to learn from this. Okay, am I gonna teleport out of this?
JOEL: Apparently… I’m sorry what?
BURNIE: Am I gonna get a teleporter out of this or what do I get out of this?
JOEL: You’re never getting anything, you’re never gonna learn anything.
FRANK: you’ll ge- you’ll get stuff. You’ll probably get a better cell phone reception or something boring like that.
BURNIE: I’ll take it.
JOEL: Microwave faster. Apparently there’s uhmm…
CROWD: WHOOOOAAAA!!!!
BURNIE: Wow nice.
GUS: Someone said Mass Effect 3, I brought that out, we’ll give that away later. Do- so ignore that for now.
FRANK: It’s very heavy.
BURNIE: Wow. Holy moly it-
JOEL: Is that part of the Hadron Collider? Is that what they use to shoot that one. See I just dig myself into these holes.
FAN: Go on....!
BURNIE: Okay, so…
JOEL: APPARENTLY, there are other dimensions. Apparently, mathematically-
FRANK: NOOOOOO.
JOEL: -there are other dimensions.
BURNIE: Shut up, let ‘im go, let ‘im go.
JACK: N-No when Joel- when Joel was excited about the Higgs Boson, that was like- there’s other universes now, there’s other dimensions!
JOEL: No, no- nononono no. Not other universes-
JACK: Okay, please explain this Joel.
JOEL: - Other dimensions.
GUS: So what’s the difference between another universe and another dimension?
JOEL: I- I don’t fuckin’ know.
GUS: You were very clear right there!
JOEL: It’s weird when even Jack turns on you, that’s when you know you’re on the fuckin’ bottom.
FRANK: So I actually know the answer to this.
GUS: Okay, please.
FRANK: Well it’s boring, and I can’t describe it properly ‘cause y-y-imagine describing UP to some- one of the flatlanders to the famous Thought Experiment. O-Other dimensions are literally other dimensions in space, right? So you’ve got up, down, left, right, forward, backward.
GUS: Right.
FRANK: There’s another one, we can’t see it, in theory. One of the reasons we can’t see it is ‘cause they’re very very small. That’s it. That’s where we’re at. Loads of different directions that we can’t sense or see, but they-they have given and shaped evidence upon the very fabric of the universe.
MONTY: So how is this going to influence Halo?
FRANK: Uhhhh…
JOEL: How are you gonna incorporate this into Halo 4?
MONTY: Yes.
FRANK: Uhh, well. We’ll go down to about 8 frames per second.
JOEL: When we- when we had one?
FRANK: Uh yeah.
BURNIE: No, that actually makes sense because Joel is used to dealing with things that are very very very small, so that’s helpful.
GUS: Ohhhhhh…
JOEL: You just set me up on this- a small set up here and I’m not gonna…
BURNIE: Joel always tells us jokes that he’s not gonna tell us.
JOEL: Noo…
BURNIE: So.
GUS: Well th-those are the best kind of jokes. Th-Those ones never bomb.
BURNIE: Oh yeah.
GUS: Well they never come out.
BURNIE: They don’t bomb. They just fizzle. Alright, so what else should we talk about Gus, what else is goin’ on in the news?
GUS: Uhmm…
BURNIE: Any videogame news that came out?
GUS: I-I-I-I don’t know. If it didn’t happen in this building, I don’t know about it.
BURNIE: What’s that?
FAN: Spelunking.
BURNIE: Oh, spelunking? I don’t know what that is, it sounds like a Minecraft clone just off the…
FAN: It’s like an arcade- road-like cave dwelling game.
BURNIE: Road-like cave dwelling game.
JOEL: Monty would love that.
MONTY: Mmmm.
BURNIE: Guys what’s the la- Jack what’s the last arcade game you guys have been playing?
JACK: Well w-w-w-we’ve been playing Minecraft like non-stop-
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: -for the last couple of months. And uh, yeah Spelunking just hit this past week, or this past Wednesday on Xbox Arcade. It’s one of the new 400 point Xbox Live Arcade games. Are you excited about that?
BURNIE: What’s that?
JACK: The 400 point arcade games now?
BURNIE: Uhmm, I’ll be honest, I’ve been so busy with RTX that I haven’t had a chance to play a whole lot. I’m actually kinda like working my- I-I’m- you know what, I’m gonna be pathetic here. I’m gonna give up. I’ve been trying to beat… this one achievement on Left 4 Dead 2 for about two years now, and I just gotta give up and find some ringers, ‘cause I cannot beat Expert level campaigns. I just can’t do it! And th-th- you can do it? Dude stand up, I can’t believe- You have a Jack beard, that is like the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
FRANK: Wow.
BURNIE: Yeah. Yeah. Somehow it being fake doesn’t make it less gross. Somehow. I’m not sure.
JOEL: You and Jack should make out.
BURNIE: Eughhh.
JOEL: You should all take pictures.
BURNIE: EUHUUUHHHH.
JACK: How do we- how do we get to-
JOEL: And Burnie’s vomiting. You just wathc two AHWU’s go at it in the wild.
BURNIE: -GAG- Where’s Gavin? Oh man.
JOEL: Turn into Nature Channel.
JACK: Well, hey Burnie, the problem is-
BURNIE: No, stop!
JACK: No, the beard hair would catch?
BURNIE: Eughh, ohh.
JACK: Run into any excess food-
JOEL: Inter-locking.
JACK: - would lock together.
FAN: This is Velcro.
JACK: Yeah, l-like Burnie…
GUS: Like- that’s awesome!
JACK: Burnie, if you and I were to get really close, our beard hairs would slowly go towards each other.
JOEL: Eugghhhh.
JACK: Kind of like- you know the aliens reconnect after getting de- yeah, it’s kind of like that where it’s sort of building together-
BURNIE: EUUGHHHHH.
JACK: I-It would probably have this weird taste in your mouth, that would- right in the back of your throat…
JOEL: This is like the protein f-