30:00-1:00:00
JACK: Doug Stanhope is the uh, guy who’s basically suicidal and I’m done with life and like, Louis’ trying to talk him out of it and he’s like, why, why do you care? Damn that was a good episode, that and the finale was great too.
BURNIE: Y’know, it’s one of those things too where it’s like, I get the feeling if you’ve never seen Doug Stanhope before- but I get the feeling that’s what it would be like to actually know that guy. It’s like, he’s that sarcastic, nothing matters, fuck everything and that’s his routine but then, that seems like, I’ve seen interviews with the guy and that’s what he’s actually like, just like, it just wears you down.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: It’s like, dude, get- y’know, you’re brilliant, get happy about something, find the joy in something and apparently this doesn’t exist.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: Comedians are always the most depressed though, aren’t they? Of- of the famous people, the famous bunch.
JACK: Uh yeah..
GUS: It seems like it.
JACK: Ask Artie Lange. I mean Jesus Christ!
BURNIE: Well, I just went to the Montreal Comedy Festival, that’s where I was all last week, why I wasn’t on the podcast.
GUS: What a bummer.
JACK: How many people killed themselves while you were there?
BURNIE: No, no but I’ll tell you like, I- and so it was weird to be with a group of people who are primarily stand up comedians or y’know, comedy writers and they’re some of the most brilliant sarcastic people, but you get them all in one room together and it’s like, you can talk to people and it’s great but there’s this weird undercurrent of just like, like a lack of confidence? I don’t know how else to put it. Y’know what I mean, it’s just like part of that thing of being a comedian.
JACK: Self deprecation, right? I mean, like-
BURNIE: Yeah, sort of but something el- something a little darker there too.
JACK: Huh.
BURNIE: And I will say this, mother fucker. First of all, Montreal is awesome. That might be the best looking city that I’ve ever been to, I don’t know if it’s like the French y’know, influence or whatever but wow. But, we’ve been to cons with film people, web people and video game people. I can absolutely guarantee, nobody drinks like comedians. Holy fuck dude. And you combine that with uh, just the laws in Montreal. You’re just sitting there drinking, having a good time and it’s like, it’s probably one of the best bar scenes ever because, a bunch of comedians, everybody’s fucking hilarious and you’re just drinking, having a great time and I go, what the- I said, “What time is it?” and somebody goes, “It’s 4:30.” It was 4:30 in the morning!
GAVIN: So do they still serve booze?
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: That’s awesome.
BURNIE: Yeah, so you’re just like, you didn’t even know it, I- I got- I was like, I gotta get outta here, I’m- I’m gonna go crazy. So, yeah, it was a- that was a fun festival.
JACK: You met- you met some cool people out there. You met some of the guys from uh, Adam Carolla’s podcast right? Or- or-
BURNIE: Yeah. Yeah. Some people that work on it cause he was out there and then the guy who does, y’know Marc Maron, he’s always big on the uh, iTunes stuff.
JACK: Yeah, yeah.
BURNIE: They were out there too. A lot of comedians have podcasts.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: And so they uh, a lot of people that I met, they knew us, not from web or gaming cause they don’t give a fuck about any of that and they were very clear to say the don’t give a fuck about any of that. But like the iTunes rankings are like, oh, it’s like, yeah cause we don’t have our faces on it so it’s like, oh yeah, I see that all the time, what the fuck is that? I listen to that fucking thing it sounds like you record in a fucking closet.
GUS: That’s right. How- how’s- how- how’s our rear mirror look asshole?
BURNIE: They’re like, I tried to listen, it was like a bunch of kids and you’re all in a fucking closet. So uh, yeah. So that was weird to have that and then uh, they were doing uh, they were doing um, it was called the Just for Laughs festival and I think it was the 30th year they’re done it.
GUS: Wow.
BURNIE: And uh-
GUS: Have they got a laugh yet?
BURNIE: Yeah, they did.
GUS: They did? Nice.
BURNIE: Just for a few but uh, they wanted more web people out there because they think web is changing comedy and it was, I mean, all the web people were there like, people from College Humour, Cracked, FunnyorDie and y’know, talk to them and they were extremely web savvy and you talk to a stand up comedian and he’s like, how do you get a Youtube account? It’s like, what are you- what’re you asking me? It’s like yeah, it’s just no knowledge, it’s like, it’s just completely outside the sphere of their knowledge and they just don’t care, don’t know anything about it.
GUS: Interesting. Like, y’know, bringing it back to the Louie C.K. thing, he’s having that tour later this year where y’know he- he previously put out that special where he, I guess paid for it himself and put it out for like five bucks and this time around on his tour, he’s not using ticketmaster, he’s using like- he’s basically selling the tickets himself through an in house uh, ticketing system. That’s pretty interesting, someone-
GAVIN: Does that mean he gets more money?
GUS: Yeah, that’s someone who’s pretty savvy about that kinda stuff.
JACK: It’s also saving money too. So like tickets I think, were like, 45 dollars-
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: -across the board. Every ticket was 45 bucks and he also set it up where you- i- it has your name on it so you can’t scout tickets, like they’re checking names.
GAVIN: Oh, so you’d have to give ID when you’re going.
JACK: Yeah, yeah. Cause I mean, it’s one of those things y’know, people scout tickets from ticketmaster and sell them for 300 dollars on top of a 50 dollar price.
GUS: Yeah, plus when you buy this ticket, you didn’t have to pay fucking service fees-
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: -and all that other bullshit.
JACK: It- I- I think they said that Louie C.K. made 4.5 million dollars in a day. Like when- when tickets went on sale cause they all went on sale at the same time.
GUS: Yeah, here in Austin he was only gonna have two shows but I guess they sold out so fast that he expanded, he’s gonna have six now.
JACK: Yeah. Over three days.
GAVIN: You going to see him?
GUS: Yeah.
GAVIN: You are?
GUS: Yeah. I got- I got tickets. I didn’t know that- I- I- didn’t that he like, the tour was new. One day my wife and I were talking and about Louie C.K. we were like, oh we should see if he’s coming to Austin anytime soon and it’s like, oh cool he is. Like, oh wow, there’s a ton of tickets, apparently they had just gone on sale, we had no idea. We were like, oh look there’s a ton of tickets, alright let’s buy one.
JACK: That’s gonna be good.
GUS: It was like pure, pure coincidence.
JACK: He- he’s playing at the ACL theatre right? At the moody?
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: We actually just went there recently uh, to see Barenaked Ladies and that is an awesome, awesome theatre. It’s pretty cool.
BURNIE: Yeah, uh so Ed who plays Captain Butch Flowers in Red vs Blue, he just happened to come through town for a tour and uh, he’s like, “Hey, what’re you guys doing?”, I was like “Nothing, you wanna go hang out for a day?” cause when he’s on tour sometimes he has like a spare day and you- Gavin and Jack got to see something really cool which is, we like go spend the day with him, do something fun. Barton Creek or Barton Springs was closed.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: That’s our natural spring, that’s what he usually likes to do um, so we just went out and did some other stuff and listening to Barenaked Ladies is a completely different experience than going to a Barenaked Ladies show.
GAVIN: Right.
BURNIE: Because it’s almost like an improv act … with music.
GUS & JACK: Yeah.
JACK: Like- like in between sets when h- when he’s y’know, bantering to the crowd, it’s all fresh.
GAVIN: Yeah, he just started riffing and rapping about the steak he had at dinner with caramelized brown sugar on top.
BURNIE: Yeah, there’s always like a two minute rap about whatever you do with him today so it’s a really weird experience to see that.
GAVIN: Yeah, it’s weird us being there like, he’s saying this to all these like, hundreds of people about his dinner he just had and it’s like, yeah we were there. I watched- I watched him eat it.
GUS: We- we- when we were sitting there eating dinner with him uh, I guess some other people at another table recognised him and came over and said hi and I got a little jealous.
GAVIN: Yeah?
GUS: I was like, “I’m famous too.”
BURNIE: Did you really feel that way?
GUS: No. No.
JACK: Goddamn.
GUS: What about me? I’m Gus.
GAVIN: She said he was on his- on- on her list but she didn’t say you were.
GUS: Yeah.
GAVIN: That’s sad.
BURNIE: Yeah, that’s a- a weird conversation. It is- it is interesting to go out with somebody who’s actually famous-
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: -and see what that is like, and it’s like, he gets stopped all the fucking time. Yeah, like when you go to a- go out for a drink anywhere, especially after the show like, anywhere nearby, it’s just like, a pretty steady stream for about 30 or 40 minutes of just, y’know people coming up, talking.
GAVIN: What- what we have now must be the perfect level of well-knownness in that, like in a- a very select room full of people who know who we are it’s like ballistic and everyone knows us but then you just step outside and it’s regular life, it’s like a- it’s a really awesome contrast.
BURNIE: Wait. You mean turn it on and off like a switch, basically?
GAVIN: Yeah like, good balance.
BURNIE: Yeah the uh, I mean it’s a- it- it- I mean, we’re at the level where like, every now and then like, outside of like a Rooster Teeth event or like a convention y’know, get stopped somewhere.
GUS: Mhm.
JACK: Yeah, about once a month or so.
BURNIE: Yeah. I’m trying to think of somewhere.
GUS: Okay, so the worst for me-
BURNIE: Okay, I got a- I got a bad one. Yeah go ahead.
GUS: Um, got a bad one. So … the- the- the pharmacist at the pharmacy I go to knows who I am.
BURNIE: Oh no!
GUS: So like, now I’m really concerned it’s like, if I ever, I don’t know, like have to get something- some fucked up medicine or what, I can’t go to my pharmacy cause the guy knows me!
BURNIE: Hey Gus, your butt herpes cream is in.
GUS: Everytime I go to pick up my medicine like, I have to take some stomach medicine, he’s like “Hey so I saw that short, you were really funny.”
BURNIE: Oh no!
GUS: It’s like, can i just get my pills please?
BURNIE: Oh that’s the worst.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: I couldn’t imagine someone in a- knowing me personally or knowing me in like- you want that person to be anonymous.
GUS: Right, he- he has to have access to like my medical history right? So-
BURNIE: Absolutely.
GUS: I don’t know. Like, was there something fucked up I did years ago that’s still on there?
BURNIE: Oh, absolutely.
GUS: Fuck.
BURNIE: Absolutely.
GUS: So that- that- that’s my current terror.
BURNIE: Yeah, you don’t want the dude like, you don’t wanna be in the doctors office and he’s putting on the rubber glove, like snapping it and goes “By the way, I just wanna say-
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: -I love Caboose.”
GAVIN: And he does that thing, where he like pulls the band- pulls the glove and whtoosh.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: It’s like, speaking of Caboose. That’s so- let’s take a look at yours. If you would have gone nuts in Montreal because, I guess the festival like, jumps up the amount of work that the hotel has to do. So all these uh, French-Canadian service people decided that would be a great time to have a strike and they were like, picketing outside. Y’know, so it’s like, to get a drink at the bar, it was like twenty minutes of someone standing there cause they had their scab bartenders, who were just like, what’s y’know, what’s Makers Mark and they just like stare at you, then they go over to the computerised cash register and they go like, uh .. tap, tap, tap. It’s like, if you imagine Chris was a bartender.
GUS: Oh yeah, oh God.
BURNIE: That’s what it felt like.
GAVIN: Do you remember that dude in Australia, that bartender who was the slowest- there’s nothing worse than like, watching someone be really slow and watching his oblivious, happy, smug face about it. He was just like-
GUS: Yeah, that must be terrible.
GAVIN: What’re you trying to say Gus? He was just like, he was just pottering. Just like-
GUS: He what?!
GAVIN: -going over here, like-
JACK: Pottering?
GAVIN: -doing something and he’d be like preparing it and he’d be like-
JACK: Is he going to Hogwarts?
BURNIE: No, I’m with ya, yeah I’m following Gavin.
JACK: What is pottering?
BURNIE: And Gav was like, Gav is very polite, he- he has- he’s a British gentleman. But he is standing right next to me like, this guy is- whatever got under his skin, maybe it was because he had an infection on his penis.
JACK: Tapped into his herpes or whatever you call it.
BURNIE: Gav was like, “You fucking prick.” He’s like, muttering the entire time the guys working, he goes, “Come on, fucking prick.”
GAVIN: It’s cause the guy kept looking at me and smiling as though everything was alright. I’m there like, I have a twenty in my hand and I’m just like-
GUS: Looking at you and smiling, that made you angry?
GAVIN: And I’m like squeezing this money and I’m like, “Come on. C’mon.”
BURNIE: Speaking of being famous, that’s where we were special guests down there.
JACK: Oh yeah.
BURNIE: For Supernova. A-and we, so we rode this bus everyday uh, back to the hotel.
JACK: It sounds very special.
BURNIE: And- yeah, it was a special bus. And so like, as special guests we had to be back by a certain time and- and to get on the bus to get back to the hotel. And it was like, special guests were Christopher Lloyd, which he was freaked out about. Cause he grew up watching Back to the Future and all that stuff. He never-
GAVIN: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
BURNIE: -never heard of Taxi, never heard of-
JACK: Really?
BURNIE: -Jim Ignatowski.
GUS: Hmm.
BURNIE: So and uh, it was so- the special guests were Christopher Lloyd um, Eric Roberts uh, Tricia Helfer um, Vic, who’s a good- does a voice for a lot of anime stuff, lots of other voice actors and actresses, us um, the guy who played Atreyu in Never Ending Story.
JACK: Oh wow.
BURNIE: Which you probably would have liked Jack. I should’ve figured you would enjoy that.
GAVIN: Guy has a lot of tattoos.
BURNIE: An-and the lady who played femShep uh, and then the woman who played Batgirl from the 60s, Batman Extreme.
GUS & JACK: Oh wow.
BURNIE: Which was interesting. And like, we were all packed on this bus, then we’d all go back and Gavin one day, he asked me, h- i- one one of the trips back he asked this, “What would happen, what would happen if this bus drove off a cliff? Like, what would- what would that be.” And I said- he goes, “What would the headline be?”, I said, “I’ll tell you exactly what the headline would be, Christopher Lloyd dies in a bus accident.” That- that would be it!
JACK: Dude, you’ve been putting that- you put that in Michael’s head cause everytime like, you and me and Michael and sometimes Ray hang out, Michaels like, “If we die right now, what’s gonna happen to Achievement Hunter?” and it’s like, dude no, don’t think of it like that. It’d be like someone asking you, “What if something happens on the river and we all die?”
GAVIN: Yeah we were just- I love floating on the river, it’s awesome.
GUS: News flash, all you assholes are replaceable.
GAVIN: Every single person in the room.
JACK: I play video games for the internet, that’s what I do. It’s a specialised skill set.
BURNIE: It might be better to ask, what would happen if Minecraft died? That might be a more relevant question to ask. You guys are kicking ass.
GAVIN: I wanna know what’s going on.
JACK: So we had our- we had our fourt- we had our fourth anniversary this past weekend which was uh, pretty badass, on the uh, on Saturday the 28th. Which for the longest time we thought it was the 27th and we actually went to look and it was like, oh wait, it’s the 28th. Well, we’ll celebrate on the 27th, fuck it.
GAVIN: I think you should reset the anniversary from the day that the domain expired and you had to re-register it.
JACK: Oh god.
BURNIE: Don’t- Do not bring that up around Geoff.
JACK: That was a rough day.
GUS: I still have a screenshot of that. I have multiple screenshots of that.
GAVIN: I was- I was with Geoff in London when that happened.
BURNIE: He fucking panicked. So Geoff- Geoff was in charge of the- early on, in the early days of Achievement Hunter, Geoff was in charge of the domain name achievementhunter.com and he let it expire and it just went to some other site.
GUS: Yeah, I- I was sitting at home on like a Saturday or Sunday and my phone started ringing and it was like, “What’s wrong with Achievement Hunter? It’s just showing adds, it looks like a parked page.” and I was like, “Well what? I-I’m sure it’s fine.” and I went and looked at it, nope.
BURNIE: It’s gone. Bye- bye brand name. See ya later.
GUS: It was only like a year in- no, a year or two into it.
BURNIE: Probably 12 months and one day. Probably.
GAVIN: Our Let’s Plays though recently, our Minecraft ones, it- it’s- I mean, it was just like, us playing Minecraft-
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: -for- I narrow it down to half an hour usually.
JACK: Us just goofing around.
GAVIN: And uh, it- it’s like 1.5 million views now. It’s- it’s- that was what, three days ago, four days ago.
JACK: We let it out last Friday.
BURNIE: You guys are fucking destroying, you guys are awesome.
GUS: When am I gonna be in a Let’s Play?
GAVIN: Don’t ask me.
BURNIE: You know what we should do, the original- we should go back and do the uh, I wanna do one for when the Left for Dead DLC comes to the Xbox.
GUS: Yeah, fuck you guys, we’ll make our own Let’s Play.
JACK: Go stream it? Yeah, we could do that.
GUS: What, no. We can do that.
JACK: No, I’m just- I’m just saying Achievement Hunter can do that, we can set you up.
GUS: We-
BURNIE: Listen. Listen, I-
GUS: I am gonna- I am gonna murder someone.
JACK: Wow.
BURNIE: Gus is pretty territorial about the Let’s Play thing, cause he feels it was taken from the Drunk Tank.
JACK: Oh.
GAVIN: Well, we did- you did the uh, Left for Dead one and we did a Halo:ODST one.
BURNIE: Guys, it’s a Let’s Play. It’s not like you- it’s people playing video games, talking.
GUS: I- I really don’t care. You don’t have to set me up.
BURNIE: You don’t-
GUS: I think I know how to do it.
JACK: I’m being helpful.
BURNIE: Gus- Gus, you do not own the format but you guys are kicking ass. I- Let’s Plays are my favourite kind of thing.
JACK: It’s-
BURNIE: Like-
JACK: It’s so much fun to do as well.
BURNIE: It’s just- it’s just- it’s a blast- a blast to do, I wish I had more time to do some of that stuff. Although I do like your videos Gavin about um, Things To Do In, cause those are super creative. And I- my- I know you guys always give it a hard time but I love Horse.
JACK: We got a- No, Horse is a lot of fun but it’s just like-
GAVIN: Yeah. I think the tournament stuff works great. I love the tournament.
JACK: Yeah, the tournament-
GAVIN: It- It’s not just a friendly-
GUS: I think most people don’t realise, and it’s what you always say, most people don’t realise how much work-
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: -goes into putting an episode of Horse out. How long it takes to fucking win the game and-
GAVIN: The worst-
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: -choose the maps.
GAVIN: The worst thing about Horse is you never know how long it’s going to take.
JACK: Exactly.
GAVIN: It could take like, the whole afternoon sometimes.
JACK: I mean like, when Burnie crushes Gavin Horse-
GAVIN: HEY!
BURNIE: Fuck yes!
JACK: -like, six/seven rounds, that makes my life so much easier.
GAVIN: I was so- I mean, c’mon, I won two rounds. Screw you.
GUS: Yeah, seven rounds.
GAVIN: Oh well, yeah, whatever.
JACK: A math genius there.
GAVIN: I wasn’t listening. I was just taking in the tone of his voice. But-
GUS: Horse plus two is seven. For future reference.
BURNIE: Yeah, that’s what we do with you a lot of times, is you get criticised for being wrong a lot when you’re really not that wrong. I actually thought last week on the podcast, listening to it, your- your comment you made, you actually made it to Ed, you said what time is it in space, cause he was talking about the International Space Station. It’s actually a brilliant question. What time is it in space?
GAVIN: I’ve just given up defending myself at this point, everyone- I ask you a question and everyone goes mental.
GUS: He didn’t say what time is it on the space station, which I can understand, like what time is in space-
GAVIN: We were talking about the space station!
GUS: Shut up, that’s not what you said. You said, what time is in space, it makes me think like all of space has one time zone and I’m like, what time is it in space?
BURNIE: But that’s a brilliant thing to think about.
JACK: Once you cross the atmosphere you have to set your watch to space time.
BURNIE: But you even got mad, you said, I don’t know what time it is on Mars, and I immediately thought, what time is it on Mars? And you know, what’s the date on Mars?
JACK: You’ve been hanging around Gavin too much.
GAVIN: I was always amazed that because light takes y’know, light only travels at a certain speed and when you look at something that’s so far away, you can look at some things through a telescope that, you’re looking at them at a moment in time before the Earth even existed.
GUS: Yes.
GAVIN: So the light started travelling from that object, the Earth then formed and then that light arrived at the Earth now and it’s just crazy to think about.
BURNIE: There’s this- By the way, there’s a certain portion of our podcast that actually is intelligent and has jobs and science, right now they’re all cringing cause they think we’re about to get into a scientific discussion.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: Lets talk about science! We should have a little theme song for that.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: There was a- others- there’s always sites like this on the internet but I found another cool one, I think I was on Reddit over the weekend, where it’s just got a slider and you can slide across different scales down from like this super tiny scale from the smallest particle imaginable-
GAVIN: Yeah.
GUS: -to like, this huge gigantic scale that has like, the entire uh, universe. And uh, you can see how big all that stuff is and there’s a section in the middle of the universe labelled, Observable Universe, which is I guess, all of that.
GAVIN: Yeah, I mean it’s the same with wavelengths of light isn’t it? We can see a tiny, ridiculous small amount -
GUS: I wouldn’t say it’s the same thing but I- I- you-
GAVIN: Yeah, but it’s like there’s so much that’s not observable by our eyes.
BURNIE: Did you watch the video that I sent you last night?
GAVIN: No. What?
BURNIE: I sent you on your iPhone, they have a trillion FPS camera now.
GUS: Oh yeah, we saw- we- we-
GAVIN: What can it- is it like where they show the photon going through-
BURNIE: Right.
GAVIN: That’s not really- They take like one line of pixels tha- at a time though.
BURNIE: Right.
GAVIN: They can only do it on repeatable subjects, like if you were filming something with it, you wouldn’t be able to do it cause it has to be something that moves at the exact same speed every single time.
BURNIE: It’s still cool.
GAVIN: Yeah, it’s awesome.
BURNIE: Yes.
GAVIN: It’s brilliant.
GUS: Didn’t we sit down and try to figure out, if you played back a trillion FPS at thirty frames-
GAVIN: Yeah, how long it would take.
GUS: It was like, millions of year- it was this really ridiculous long amount of time.
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: The guy said if you watched a bullet going through the apple on the camera, it would take you a year to watch it.
JACK: Wow.
BURNIE: Like, y’know, just the time of a bullet punching through the apple that famous photo.
GUS: Yeah, yeah.
BURNIE: If you watched that-
GAVIN: At a trillion frames?
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: Yeah. What a- yeah, I film stuff sometimes where it’s like, I record four seconds and I have three hours worth of footage.
GUS: Didn’t we say like, if you watched something that was a trillion frames a second, you could watch- maybe we did our math wrong, did you- you watch a frame and not observe any movement in your entire life.
GAVIN: Yeah, you can watch it for a lifetime and not see a single thing move. It’d be like watching a stalactite form.
JACK: Wait, a what form?
GAVIN: Stalactite.
JACK: Okay. I’ll give you that one.
GAVIN: What are you-
GUS: Stalactite or stalagmite.
BURNIE: Huh.
GAVIN: Stalagmites are from the ground aren’t they?
BURNIE: I’m looking up relative stuff here-
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: -online cause I was just curious. So, a year on Jupiter like, a year is 12 years.
GUS: So it takes 12 Earth years to-
GAVIN: Go around the sun.
GUS: -rotate around the sun.
BURNIE: 11.86 to be exact.
GUS: Revolve around the-
BURNIE: According to this website, which I’m sure somebody’s gonna write me, some fucking astronomer uh, he’s gonna write me telling me how I’m wrong or astro-phycisist.
GUS: Revolve around the sun, I corrected myself so you don’t have to email me either.
BURNIE: What did you say?
GUS: I said rotate at first.
BURNIE: Oh, okay. Uh, but then also, the day th- the actual rotation of the planet, is only nine hours. So, it rotates faster than Earth, much faster cause it’s huge.
GAVIN: Yeah.
GUS: There are some planets where their rotation speed and their revolution speed match up, right? That’s gotta happen, where they’re always only face one side.
GAVIN: Well that’s the same as-
JACK: Isn’t Mercury-
GAVIN: -the moon is like that.
GUS: The moon is like that, that’s true.
GAVIN: You’ve only ever seen one side of the moon.
JAK: Isn’t Mercury like that?
GUS: I think Mercury’s very close to it.
BURNIE: Is it true?
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: I think so.
GAVIN: No, well Mercury has- yeah, we talked about this last week.
BURNIE: So theoretically, there is a part of Mercury between the sun and the cold of space where it could be habitable, if it’s 72 degrees.
GAVIN: Would that- no, cause it is rotating, it’s just rotating slower than-
BURNIE: You could stick to- yeah.
GAVIN: You’d have to keep moving but just- just keep trekking on that thin line of light.
BURNIE: It’s a great short story like, the astronaut who lands in that space and has to just keep moving or he’ll die.
GUS: There’s a-
GAVIN: Or he’ll get really cold.
GUS: There’s an episode of Futurama like that, where they’re on the moon and they can’t- like, their spacesuits aren’t heated and they have to stay out of the shadows.
BURNIE: Oh yeah.
GUS: Cause it- it’s creeping up on them.
BURNIE: Would rather have- what would you rather have chasing you, would you rather have the hot side chasing you or the cold side chasing you?
GAVIN: The cold side, cause then when you run, it would be easier to keep warm.
GUS: I want a McBLT now.
BURNIE: I thought the same thing too.
GUS: Like, you’ve got the hot side and the cold side.
BURNIE: It’s a McDLT.
GUS: Oh, is it a McDLT?
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: What is it?
GUS: It was this old stupid sandwich McDonalds had, years ago, where they gave it to you in a styrofoam container and like the- it was like, y’know what a BLT is right?
GAVIN: Yeah.
GUS: It’s basically a BLT but the bacon was in a side that was kept hot and the lettuce and the bread was in the side that was kept cold.
BURNIE: It wasn’t- it wasn’t-
GAVIN: You had to build it yourself?
GUS: Yeah and then you put it together. You put like, the hot side and the cold side together, that was fresh and you ate it.
BURNIE: The hot sides hot and the cool sides cool.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: That’s how they advertised it. But I don’t think it was- I think it was a burger, it wasn’t a BLT.
GUS: Oh, was it? I don’t know.
BURNIE: I don’t know why-
GUS: I never ordered it.
BURNIE: I don’t know why they called it a McD- a McDLT but it was a big deal like, here’s a picture of it, they would serve it to you in a separate- in separate pieces like that. And then you-
GAVIN: I want that.
BURNIE: -then you put it together yourself.
GAVIN: It looks nice.
GUS: I think uh, they- they did away with it because it used a ton of styrofoam.
BURNIE Yeah, right?
GUS: To uh- for the packaging.
BURNIE: There was a point in time where Styrofoam just went- seemed to go away entirely.
GUS: It was pretty quick.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: Like I feel like- ‘member when Big Macs used to come- everything came in a Styrofoam, and now y-you… I-I can’t even think of a single thing served to me in Styrofoam anymore. You see a Styrofoam cup occasionally.
JACK: Yeah. C-Cups and those coolers you get the- the-
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: -cheap coolers at the grocery store.
GAVIN: I recently uhh poured some Petrol in a Styrofoam cup and it just melted through the cup.
BURNIE: Yeah it’ll do that.
GAVIN: I didn’t know that would happen.
BURNIE: Yeah, it’ll do that with uhh nail polish too.
JACK: Did you do that intentionally or were you like I’ve got, I’ve got petrol I need to put in a cup.
BURNIE: It’s probably a Slow Mo Guys video.
GAVIN: Yeah, it’s for Slow Mo gu- I can’t remember what I was filming.
JACK: Okay.
GAVIN: But I was- I remember being surprised it was- it was like the scene in Alien, and blood just melts through the ship.
BURNIE: I think that- that could be very dangerous.
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: I’m sure you had fire nearby for the f-
GAVIN: Once fire’s nearby it’s like OUP!
BURNIE: Yeah. Shit.
GUS: I think that’s one of the steps for making Napalm.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: Also… I’ve- Yeah, be careful about this, but I think one of the ways that you can make one of those napalm style explosives is you just get gas and just throw Styrofoam blocks until it turns into a goop. And then it turns into this-
GAVIN: Sounds about right.
BURNIE: -flaming goop that you can throw and shit.
GUS: And then you are an awful headline in the newspaper.
BURNIE: Right. D- Please don’t do that at home. Please god.
GAVIN: Christopher Lloyd kills himself with Napalm.
BURNIE: So there’s lots of speculation about Breaking Bad, and how it’s gonna end? And I
thought the perfect ending for Breaking Bad.
JACK: How was that?
BURNIE: I’d do a Sopranos style ending? Where their meth lab just blows up. Like literally like- literally like hand me that- BOW! And then like… that’s the end of it. ‘Cause isn’t that how all meth labs go is they all eventually blow up?
GUS: That’s really-
GAVIN: I love how-
GUS: -That’s really funny.
GAVIN: I love abrupt stuff. We were doing that live stream for Achievement Hunter’s 4th birthday the other day and uhm, the power went out on one side of the room and it went out on the other side of the room which was holding the stream, so you- you see me like leaning back from the computer and then I go, “OH! Power cut!” and then you here the thing going BOOP BOOP BOOP, and Ray goes, “What the f-“ and then it just cuts.
JACK: Yeah!
GUS: So, I love… I-I was sitting there in the room when that happened. I love how y’all were,” Oh the power’s out” and no one gets up. Everyone just sits there. I was like,” Well I guess I’ll have to go and flip the fucking break.”
GAVIN: I didn’t know-
GUS: If I wasn’t there who was- who was gonna do it?
GAVIN: I don’t know where the breakers are!
GUS: Here, let me read this: -
BURNIE: If you couldn’t find them, couldn’t you just investigate and find them based on common sense?
GAVIN: Could I find the breakers in this building?
BURNIE: Gavin, what is a breaker?
GUS: Have you ever seen a breaker?
BURNIE: What is a breaker? What does th-
GAVIN: It’s the-
BURNIE: -breaker do?
GAVIN: It’s the switches isn’t it? They trip when th- s- when somethin’ bad happens.
BURNIE: When something bad happens.
GAVIN: When bad electricity happens they flip over and you have to flip ‘em back.
BURNIE: Okay. SO normally good electricity flows, and if it gets a piece of bad electricity-
GAVIN: I’m actually- ‘cause- ‘cause there’s too much stuff that’s turned on at the same time-
BURNIE: But wh- but what is that? Like what causes the breaker to flip, like what is that. Like i- describe to me how it works, like what it is- who invented this.
GAVIN: Like a fuse?
BURNIE: Sort of yeah. So what is it- what is it that w-
GAVIN: We have… yeah.
BURNIE: But what is it, what causes it.
GAVIN: You don’t have fuses in your plugs in this country do you?
BURNIE: Fuses in our plugs. Some- some do, but no, typically no.
GAVIN: Because it’s too small to fit a fuse in. Like all of our plugs are big fat 3 pin ones and then there’s the fuse that sits in the middle.
BURNIE: Well…
GAVIN: And then you have to change the fuse when…
BURNIE: No offense but most of your electricity like infrastructure was built in like the late Victorian era, so I would understand that.
GAVIN: Alright, chill out.
BURNIE: Where was electricity invented, I mean we talked about this before right? Wh- why is that person not like the greatest person on the planet, like whoever invented electricity.
GAVIN: You don’t invent electricity.
BURNIE: I know ch-
GUS: Well you learn how to harvest it.
BURNIE: Like we have- we have folklore in America that Ben Franklin is the guy who discovered electricity.
JACK: Yeah, yeah. I’m-
GAVIN: Didn’t Edison make it?
JACK: -I’m a little nervous about talking about Edison and Tesla, and about current, and
alternating current-
GUS: But also there’s someone before them-
JACK: Yeah yeah.
GUS: -who started this.
BURNIE: you know what I’m gonna say right now? Tesla’s a fucking hack.
JACK: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
BURNIE: People who believe Tesla are like- he’s- he’s such a like-
JACK: You gotta be careful about that.
BURNIE: It’s such- it’s such horse shit when you read all that stuff. It’s like w- and everyone’s so interested in ‘im, nobody’s been able to replicate his shit since then, what’s up with that, so much crap.
GUS: What are you talking about?
BURNIE: He’s a fucking magician. That’s all it is!
GAVIN: No!
JACK: No.
BURNIE: It’s all horse shit!
JACK: Gus- Gus read your thing.
BURNIE: Alright. Go ahead.
GUS: I-I-I gotta read this. We’ll get back to our-our sturdy discussion. Uhm, this podcast is also brought to you by Twitch.tv, the world’s largest videogame broadcasting and chat community. Twitch.tv features video from top videogame personalities, players, tournaments, leagues, and commentary in addition to the most active and interesting discussion around videogames. One channel to consider is the Mega64 podcast… or ours in the future. To get started discovering awesome games and players just check out Twitch.tv… Uhm…
JACK: Tesla’s not-
BURNIE: Tesla’s-
GUS: So…
BURNIE: Let’s get away from it ‘cause it’ll just make people mad.
JACK: You’re gonna piss off a lot of people.
GAVIN: B-B-B-But most of the people-
BURNIE: yeah, like most of the people who play Command and Conquer are gonna get pissed at me.
GAVIN: What’s the most useful thing Tesla did for us.
JACK: Created uhh direct current? Or alternating current? Which one was his?
GUS: He- he championed direct current.
JACK: Direct current.
GAVIN: How is that a magic trick.
BURNIE: Listen. I’m talking about all the Tesla coils and all that stuff that he did where he’d have power that would wirelessly go across the room.
GAVIN: The earthquake machine.
BURNIE: It’s horse shit. It’s horse shit! I know like- stuff like direct current, I get, y’know, but I also get alternating current and why they did that, but Edison pulled some horse shit- did you ever hear what he did to the- did to fight direct current?
JACK: Yeah. He was like shocking things and killing elephants-
BURNIE: he- he killed an elephant to show how evil it is, y’know.
JACK: But- but Tesla, he worked on a lot of stuff that ended up being big, like he worked on
Sonar, and and I think radio waves? Like I th- I- even when Marconi was working on radio stuff like he- yeah, like anyways-
GUS: I’ll- I’ll be honest with some stuff, like I don’t know a lot about Tesla, and- and to prove
Burnie’s point, everything I know about Tesla is from- because of Command and Conquer and Tesla coils because like- it’s like a gap in my knowledge.
GAVIN: Do you think you’ve- he’s rolling around his grave pissed of his legacy because he’s only known-
BURNIE: No. He’s immortal, so he’s still alive wandering around waiting to be rescued.
GUS: People talk about him, yeah.
BURNIE: I think- y’know, when- when- most of the stuff you read about Tesla’s on like, some
like… fringe webpage where an mp3 plays in the background.
JACK: No, actually uhh-
BURNIE: An mp3 file.
GUS: They still meet on news Groups.
JACK: Yeah, yeah,
JACK: Actually the oatmeal, the guy who does the comi- the oatmeal?
GAVIN: I saw that.
JACK: He did a really cool-
GAVIN: It was really long.
JACK: -thing between Edison and Tesla. You should link that.
BURNIE: Listen. The discussion of Edison and Tesla is interesting because it’s- it shows what happens when somebody monopolizes a scientific endeavor.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: Or an academic endeavor, and just like, suppresses everything else. That’s interesting.
JACK: Yeah, like Edison everything he was doing was to make money off of or Tesla was
creating stuff for the good of mankind.
GAVIN: Yeah, you’d think that everyone at that time would be going for the good of mind ‘cause-
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: some people just put- some people just want to sell and make money.
JACK: Edison would just like scoop up patents and stuff and put- put a price tag on it. So.
Anyway, I-I’m talking a lot of this out of my ass, a lot of this stuff but.
GUS: Oh, y-you’re in trouble. You’re gonna get some-
JACK: Oh I’m sure. I’m gonna get some-
GUS: -You’re gonna get some e-mails.
JACK: I’m gonna catch a lot of shit.
BURNIE: Uh uh let’s talk about something for a sec, let’s talk about technology and all that,
uhmm, one of the things that I’ve always talked to Gavin about was putting your life online, like recording pictures n’ being logged into Google when you’re searching?
GUS: Mmhmm.
BURNIE: Which was actually another part of that banned RTAA, was about stealing Geoff’s lawnmower-
GUS: Oh right, yeah yeah.
BURNIE: -in relation to Google, uhmm, there was a second segment that was cut. But, did you read the story about target informing a dad that his daughter is pregnant-
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: -based on her shopping algorithms?
GUS: I heard about that.
BURNIE: …Yeah.
GAVIN: Why would they do that?
BURNIE: They didn’t- they didn’t do it intentionally.
GAVIN: Oh.
BURNIE: So… D’you ever go shopping at say Target or one of those big stores, and they want you to get their card? Which is not a credit card but it’s just like-
GAVIN: Oh!
BURNIE: -if you have-
GAVIN: I’ve- never do one of those.
BURNIE: FUCK no! You should NOT do that, I totally agree with you. Like the CBS card…
GAVIN: The rewards are never good enough to even bother with, and half the time I forget the stuff ‘n… there’s no point.
BURNIE: It’s-
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: What d’you got there?
JACK: That’s a Ralph’s reward card. I have from when I was living in Los Angeles.
BURNIE: Why’s that hanging on your keychain.
GUS: I-It’s handy that you still have it hanging on your fucking keychain.
JACK: Actually i-
GUS: The closest Ralph’s is probably 1500 miles away.
GAVIN: What the hell’s Ralph’s.
JACK: It’s funny actually I we- I went out to Los Angeles for an event for a video game thing one time, and I went to Ralph’s for a drink and this saved me like three bucks.
GUS: Tha-that is pretty funny. You’re right.
GAVIN: You’re carrying this all this time?
JACK: It’s awesome!
BURNIE: No that just makes you a sucker that you had that on your keychain. Look at that
enormous keychain that you have.
JACK: What?
BURNIE: You have- I would not put up with that. I have one key on my keychain that’s it.
GUS: Why do you have a keychain then, why not just carry the key.
BURNIE: I have my FOB for my remote.
GAVIN: I’m at the point where I don’t wanna keep anything ‘cause- I used to be like, “I might need this one day, I’m gonna keep it” and then it like got to the point where I did need it and I forgot where I put it because it was 4 years ago, so now anything I think I might need, I just throw it away immediately. And then I’ll worry about not having it at the time instead of storing it for four years of my life.
GUS: Yeah, that’s stupid.
BURNIE: This british cocksucker here…
GAVIN: Hey hey!
BURNIE: Going through security at the airport is a fucking nightmare. He always gets selected for secondary search? Because his backpack is so filled with every cord and component he owns! He hauls around this enormous hard drive so he can edit on the fly? But he- he puts it in his backpack.
GAVIN: That’s the only reason they do it because they’ve got hard drives- I’ve got 2 hard drives that I carry around with me.
BURNIE: That’s what I’m saying! I’m saying that you constantly stop-
GAVIN: Well I don’t-
BURNIE: -Well DON’T DO IT!
GAVIN: not when you’re with me. How am gonna edit stuff?
BURNIE: PUT IT- Put it in your carry on. NOT in your backpack.
GAVIN: I don’t have carry on.
BURNIE: Uhhhggg it fucking kills me. It-
GUS: You put it out and put it in the uh bin, along with your laptop.
GAVIN: Yeah?
BURNIE: But he- he also- he also doesn’t take it out and put it in a separate bin to run it through the X-ray? And then so he thinks, ”Oh maybe it’ll go through this time”?
GUS: Oh god…
BURNIE: And of course, it never fuckin’ does.
JACK: You can put all your major electronics in bins.
GAVIN: Usually I just put my laptop and everything else goes through. Sometimes it doesn’t. In Australia they caught it, that’s why but over here they d- they don’t give a damn about hard drives.
GUS: Hm.
BURNIE: It looks like y-you look at the x-ray picture, it looks like there’s a bomb squad like in the back of a truck in his like fucking backpack.
JACK: Did you remove all your liquids and put them in a separate bag?
BURNIE: No, I don’t do that.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: I don’t- I don’t take liquids. How much did you take?
JACK: I take toothpaste.
GAVIN: I take toothpaste and shampoo.
GUS: I don’t brush my teeth.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: Gum.
BURNIE: I’m a hypocrite.
JACK: Uh-oh.
BURNIE: I’m a hypocrite. So I’m gonna bring up something that’s gonna immediately reveal that I’m a hypocrite and I’m okay with that.
JACK: Okay.
BURNIE: So fuck off. Uhm, I said don’t register for stuff and don’t let them track you? There’s also a court case about a guy who slipped and fell in a supermarket? And they used his buying history from his affinity card to show that he buys a lot of alcohol and said well maybe you were drunk. When you fell in the store. I mean think about that! That’s-
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: That’s unbelie- an old man! How shitty is that? ‘Cause he fucking slipped and broke his hip in your goddamn store. But anyway Target what they did was they started sending baby coupons because this woman was- this girl was buying prenatal vitamins. It actually sounds a little bit like an urban legend, BUT it does show that they can track all the stuff. It’s why they do it, ‘cause that information is worth something.
GAVIN: But wh-wh- I don’t understand why her dad got it.
BURNIE: ‘Cause the dad called to complain as why are you sending my daughter coupons for baby wipes and for diapers.
GAVIN: But how would he know that they-
BURNIE: ‘Cause she was living at the house.
JACK: She was living with him.
BURNIE: his teenaged daughter.
GAVIN: Oh, through the actual mail?
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: Oh I get it.
BURNIE: And he’s like yo- Why are you people trying to encourage teenage sex and getting my daughter pregnant? And then the manager called back the next day to apologize, and the dad said I actually owe you an apology, my daughter is pregnant, and that Target predicted that she was pregnant.
BURNIE: Y’know, it’s one of those things too where it’s like, I get the feeling if you’ve never seen Doug Stanhope before- but I get the feeling that’s what it would be like to actually know that guy. It’s like, he’s that sarcastic, nothing matters, fuck everything and that’s his routine but then, that seems like, I’ve seen interviews with the guy and that’s what he’s actually like, just like, it just wears you down.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: It’s like, dude, get- y’know, you’re brilliant, get happy about something, find the joy in something and apparently this doesn’t exist.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: Comedians are always the most depressed though, aren’t they? Of- of the famous people, the famous bunch.
JACK: Uh yeah..
GUS: It seems like it.
JACK: Ask Artie Lange. I mean Jesus Christ!
BURNIE: Well, I just went to the Montreal Comedy Festival, that’s where I was all last week, why I wasn’t on the podcast.
GUS: What a bummer.
JACK: How many people killed themselves while you were there?
BURNIE: No, no but I’ll tell you like, I- and so it was weird to be with a group of people who are primarily stand up comedians or y’know, comedy writers and they’re some of the most brilliant sarcastic people, but you get them all in one room together and it’s like, you can talk to people and it’s great but there’s this weird undercurrent of just like, like a lack of confidence? I don’t know how else to put it. Y’know what I mean, it’s just like part of that thing of being a comedian.
JACK: Self deprecation, right? I mean, like-
BURNIE: Yeah, sort of but something el- something a little darker there too.
JACK: Huh.
BURNIE: And I will say this, mother fucker. First of all, Montreal is awesome. That might be the best looking city that I’ve ever been to, I don’t know if it’s like the French y’know, influence or whatever but wow. But, we’ve been to cons with film people, web people and video game people. I can absolutely guarantee, nobody drinks like comedians. Holy fuck dude. And you combine that with uh, just the laws in Montreal. You’re just sitting there drinking, having a good time and it’s like, it’s probably one of the best bar scenes ever because, a bunch of comedians, everybody’s fucking hilarious and you’re just drinking, having a great time and I go, what the- I said, “What time is it?” and somebody goes, “It’s 4:30.” It was 4:30 in the morning!
GAVIN: So do they still serve booze?
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: That’s awesome.
BURNIE: Yeah, so you’re just like, you didn’t even know it, I- I got- I was like, I gotta get outta here, I’m- I’m gonna go crazy. So, yeah, it was a- that was a fun festival.
JACK: You met- you met some cool people out there. You met some of the guys from uh, Adam Carolla’s podcast right? Or- or-
BURNIE: Yeah. Yeah. Some people that work on it cause he was out there and then the guy who does, y’know Marc Maron, he’s always big on the uh, iTunes stuff.
JACK: Yeah, yeah.
BURNIE: They were out there too. A lot of comedians have podcasts.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: And so they uh, a lot of people that I met, they knew us, not from web or gaming cause they don’t give a fuck about any of that and they were very clear to say the don’t give a fuck about any of that. But like the iTunes rankings are like, oh, it’s like, yeah cause we don’t have our faces on it so it’s like, oh yeah, I see that all the time, what the fuck is that? I listen to that fucking thing it sounds like you record in a fucking closet.
GUS: That’s right. How- how’s- how- how’s our rear mirror look asshole?
BURNIE: They’re like, I tried to listen, it was like a bunch of kids and you’re all in a fucking closet. So uh, yeah. So that was weird to have that and then uh, they were doing uh, they were doing um, it was called the Just for Laughs festival and I think it was the 30th year they’re done it.
GUS: Wow.
BURNIE: And uh-
GUS: Have they got a laugh yet?
BURNIE: Yeah, they did.
GUS: They did? Nice.
BURNIE: Just for a few but uh, they wanted more web people out there because they think web is changing comedy and it was, I mean, all the web people were there like, people from College Humour, Cracked, FunnyorDie and y’know, talk to them and they were extremely web savvy and you talk to a stand up comedian and he’s like, how do you get a Youtube account? It’s like, what are you- what’re you asking me? It’s like yeah, it’s just no knowledge, it’s like, it’s just completely outside the sphere of their knowledge and they just don’t care, don’t know anything about it.
GUS: Interesting. Like, y’know, bringing it back to the Louie C.K. thing, he’s having that tour later this year where y’know he- he previously put out that special where he, I guess paid for it himself and put it out for like five bucks and this time around on his tour, he’s not using ticketmaster, he’s using like- he’s basically selling the tickets himself through an in house uh, ticketing system. That’s pretty interesting, someone-
GAVIN: Does that mean he gets more money?
GUS: Yeah, that’s someone who’s pretty savvy about that kinda stuff.
JACK: It’s also saving money too. So like tickets I think, were like, 45 dollars-
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: -across the board. Every ticket was 45 bucks and he also set it up where you- i- it has your name on it so you can’t scout tickets, like they’re checking names.
GAVIN: Oh, so you’d have to give ID when you’re going.
JACK: Yeah, yeah. Cause I mean, it’s one of those things y’know, people scout tickets from ticketmaster and sell them for 300 dollars on top of a 50 dollar price.
GUS: Yeah, plus when you buy this ticket, you didn’t have to pay fucking service fees-
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: -and all that other bullshit.
JACK: It- I- I think they said that Louie C.K. made 4.5 million dollars in a day. Like when- when tickets went on sale cause they all went on sale at the same time.
GUS: Yeah, here in Austin he was only gonna have two shows but I guess they sold out so fast that he expanded, he’s gonna have six now.
JACK: Yeah. Over three days.
GAVIN: You going to see him?
GUS: Yeah.
GAVIN: You are?
GUS: Yeah. I got- I got tickets. I didn’t know that- I- I- didn’t that he like, the tour was new. One day my wife and I were talking and about Louie C.K. we were like, oh we should see if he’s coming to Austin anytime soon and it’s like, oh cool he is. Like, oh wow, there’s a ton of tickets, apparently they had just gone on sale, we had no idea. We were like, oh look there’s a ton of tickets, alright let’s buy one.
JACK: That’s gonna be good.
GUS: It was like pure, pure coincidence.
JACK: He- he’s playing at the ACL theatre right? At the moody?
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: We actually just went there recently uh, to see Barenaked Ladies and that is an awesome, awesome theatre. It’s pretty cool.
BURNIE: Yeah, uh so Ed who plays Captain Butch Flowers in Red vs Blue, he just happened to come through town for a tour and uh, he’s like, “Hey, what’re you guys doing?”, I was like “Nothing, you wanna go hang out for a day?” cause when he’s on tour sometimes he has like a spare day and you- Gavin and Jack got to see something really cool which is, we like go spend the day with him, do something fun. Barton Creek or Barton Springs was closed.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: That’s our natural spring, that’s what he usually likes to do um, so we just went out and did some other stuff and listening to Barenaked Ladies is a completely different experience than going to a Barenaked Ladies show.
GAVIN: Right.
BURNIE: Because it’s almost like an improv act … with music.
GUS & JACK: Yeah.
JACK: Like- like in between sets when h- when he’s y’know, bantering to the crowd, it’s all fresh.
GAVIN: Yeah, he just started riffing and rapping about the steak he had at dinner with caramelized brown sugar on top.
BURNIE: Yeah, there’s always like a two minute rap about whatever you do with him today so it’s a really weird experience to see that.
GAVIN: Yeah, it’s weird us being there like, he’s saying this to all these like, hundreds of people about his dinner he just had and it’s like, yeah we were there. I watched- I watched him eat it.
GUS: We- we- when we were sitting there eating dinner with him uh, I guess some other people at another table recognised him and came over and said hi and I got a little jealous.
GAVIN: Yeah?
GUS: I was like, “I’m famous too.”
BURNIE: Did you really feel that way?
GUS: No. No.
JACK: Goddamn.
GUS: What about me? I’m Gus.
GAVIN: She said he was on his- on- on her list but she didn’t say you were.
GUS: Yeah.
GAVIN: That’s sad.
BURNIE: Yeah, that’s a- a weird conversation. It is- it is interesting to go out with somebody who’s actually famous-
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: -and see what that is like, and it’s like, he gets stopped all the fucking time. Yeah, like when you go to a- go out for a drink anywhere, especially after the show like, anywhere nearby, it’s just like, a pretty steady stream for about 30 or 40 minutes of just, y’know people coming up, talking.
GAVIN: What- what we have now must be the perfect level of well-knownness in that, like in a- a very select room full of people who know who we are it’s like ballistic and everyone knows us but then you just step outside and it’s regular life, it’s like a- it’s a really awesome contrast.
BURNIE: Wait. You mean turn it on and off like a switch, basically?
GAVIN: Yeah like, good balance.
BURNIE: Yeah the uh, I mean it’s a- it- it- I mean, we’re at the level where like, every now and then like, outside of like a Rooster Teeth event or like a convention y’know, get stopped somewhere.
GUS: Mhm.
JACK: Yeah, about once a month or so.
BURNIE: Yeah. I’m trying to think of somewhere.
GUS: Okay, so the worst for me-
BURNIE: Okay, I got a- I got a bad one. Yeah go ahead.
GUS: Um, got a bad one. So … the- the- the pharmacist at the pharmacy I go to knows who I am.
BURNIE: Oh no!
GUS: So like, now I’m really concerned it’s like, if I ever, I don’t know, like have to get something- some fucked up medicine or what, I can’t go to my pharmacy cause the guy knows me!
BURNIE: Hey Gus, your butt herpes cream is in.
GUS: Everytime I go to pick up my medicine like, I have to take some stomach medicine, he’s like “Hey so I saw that short, you were really funny.”
BURNIE: Oh no!
GUS: It’s like, can i just get my pills please?
BURNIE: Oh that’s the worst.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: I couldn’t imagine someone in a- knowing me personally or knowing me in like- you want that person to be anonymous.
GUS: Right, he- he has to have access to like my medical history right? So-
BURNIE: Absolutely.
GUS: I don’t know. Like, was there something fucked up I did years ago that’s still on there?
BURNIE: Oh, absolutely.
GUS: Fuck.
BURNIE: Absolutely.
GUS: So that- that- that’s my current terror.
BURNIE: Yeah, you don’t want the dude like, you don’t wanna be in the doctors office and he’s putting on the rubber glove, like snapping it and goes “By the way, I just wanna say-
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: -I love Caboose.”
GAVIN: And he does that thing, where he like pulls the band- pulls the glove and whtoosh.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: It’s like, speaking of Caboose. That’s so- let’s take a look at yours. If you would have gone nuts in Montreal because, I guess the festival like, jumps up the amount of work that the hotel has to do. So all these uh, French-Canadian service people decided that would be a great time to have a strike and they were like, picketing outside. Y’know, so it’s like, to get a drink at the bar, it was like twenty minutes of someone standing there cause they had their scab bartenders, who were just like, what’s y’know, what’s Makers Mark and they just like stare at you, then they go over to the computerised cash register and they go like, uh .. tap, tap, tap. It’s like, if you imagine Chris was a bartender.
GUS: Oh yeah, oh God.
BURNIE: That’s what it felt like.
GAVIN: Do you remember that dude in Australia, that bartender who was the slowest- there’s nothing worse than like, watching someone be really slow and watching his oblivious, happy, smug face about it. He was just like-
GUS: Yeah, that must be terrible.
GAVIN: What’re you trying to say Gus? He was just like, he was just pottering. Just like-
GUS: He what?!
GAVIN: -going over here, like-
JACK: Pottering?
GAVIN: -doing something and he’d be like preparing it and he’d be like-
JACK: Is he going to Hogwarts?
BURNIE: No, I’m with ya, yeah I’m following Gavin.
JACK: What is pottering?
BURNIE: And Gav was like, Gav is very polite, he- he has- he’s a British gentleman. But he is standing right next to me like, this guy is- whatever got under his skin, maybe it was because he had an infection on his penis.
JACK: Tapped into his herpes or whatever you call it.
BURNIE: Gav was like, “You fucking prick.” He’s like, muttering the entire time the guys working, he goes, “Come on, fucking prick.”
GAVIN: It’s cause the guy kept looking at me and smiling as though everything was alright. I’m there like, I have a twenty in my hand and I’m just like-
GUS: Looking at you and smiling, that made you angry?
GAVIN: And I’m like squeezing this money and I’m like, “Come on. C’mon.”
BURNIE: Speaking of being famous, that’s where we were special guests down there.
JACK: Oh yeah.
BURNIE: For Supernova. A-and we, so we rode this bus everyday uh, back to the hotel.
JACK: It sounds very special.
BURNIE: And- yeah, it was a special bus. And so like, as special guests we had to be back by a certain time and- and to get on the bus to get back to the hotel. And it was like, special guests were Christopher Lloyd, which he was freaked out about. Cause he grew up watching Back to the Future and all that stuff. He never-
GAVIN: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
BURNIE: -never heard of Taxi, never heard of-
JACK: Really?
BURNIE: -Jim Ignatowski.
GUS: Hmm.
BURNIE: So and uh, it was so- the special guests were Christopher Lloyd um, Eric Roberts uh, Tricia Helfer um, Vic, who’s a good- does a voice for a lot of anime stuff, lots of other voice actors and actresses, us um, the guy who played Atreyu in Never Ending Story.
JACK: Oh wow.
BURNIE: Which you probably would have liked Jack. I should’ve figured you would enjoy that.
GAVIN: Guy has a lot of tattoos.
BURNIE: An-and the lady who played femShep uh, and then the woman who played Batgirl from the 60s, Batman Extreme.
GUS & JACK: Oh wow.
BURNIE: Which was interesting. And like, we were all packed on this bus, then we’d all go back and Gavin one day, he asked me, h- i- one one of the trips back he asked this, “What would happen, what would happen if this bus drove off a cliff? Like, what would- what would that be.” And I said- he goes, “What would the headline be?”, I said, “I’ll tell you exactly what the headline would be, Christopher Lloyd dies in a bus accident.” That- that would be it!
JACK: Dude, you’ve been putting that- you put that in Michael’s head cause everytime like, you and me and Michael and sometimes Ray hang out, Michaels like, “If we die right now, what’s gonna happen to Achievement Hunter?” and it’s like, dude no, don’t think of it like that. It’d be like someone asking you, “What if something happens on the river and we all die?”
GAVIN: Yeah we were just- I love floating on the river, it’s awesome.
GUS: News flash, all you assholes are replaceable.
GAVIN: Every single person in the room.
JACK: I play video games for the internet, that’s what I do. It’s a specialised skill set.
BURNIE: It might be better to ask, what would happen if Minecraft died? That might be a more relevant question to ask. You guys are kicking ass.
GAVIN: I wanna know what’s going on.
JACK: So we had our- we had our fourt- we had our fourth anniversary this past weekend which was uh, pretty badass, on the uh, on Saturday the 28th. Which for the longest time we thought it was the 27th and we actually went to look and it was like, oh wait, it’s the 28th. Well, we’ll celebrate on the 27th, fuck it.
GAVIN: I think you should reset the anniversary from the day that the domain expired and you had to re-register it.
JACK: Oh god.
BURNIE: Don’t- Do not bring that up around Geoff.
JACK: That was a rough day.
GUS: I still have a screenshot of that. I have multiple screenshots of that.
GAVIN: I was- I was with Geoff in London when that happened.
BURNIE: He fucking panicked. So Geoff- Geoff was in charge of the- early on, in the early days of Achievement Hunter, Geoff was in charge of the domain name achievementhunter.com and he let it expire and it just went to some other site.
GUS: Yeah, I- I was sitting at home on like a Saturday or Sunday and my phone started ringing and it was like, “What’s wrong with Achievement Hunter? It’s just showing adds, it looks like a parked page.” and I was like, “Well what? I-I’m sure it’s fine.” and I went and looked at it, nope.
BURNIE: It’s gone. Bye- bye brand name. See ya later.
GUS: It was only like a year in- no, a year or two into it.
BURNIE: Probably 12 months and one day. Probably.
GAVIN: Our Let’s Plays though recently, our Minecraft ones, it- it’s- I mean, it was just like, us playing Minecraft-
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: -for- I narrow it down to half an hour usually.
JACK: Us just goofing around.
GAVIN: And uh, it- it’s like 1.5 million views now. It’s- it’s- that was what, three days ago, four days ago.
JACK: We let it out last Friday.
BURNIE: You guys are fucking destroying, you guys are awesome.
GUS: When am I gonna be in a Let’s Play?
GAVIN: Don’t ask me.
BURNIE: You know what we should do, the original- we should go back and do the uh, I wanna do one for when the Left for Dead DLC comes to the Xbox.
GUS: Yeah, fuck you guys, we’ll make our own Let’s Play.
JACK: Go stream it? Yeah, we could do that.
GUS: What, no. We can do that.
JACK: No, I’m just- I’m just saying Achievement Hunter can do that, we can set you up.
GUS: We-
BURNIE: Listen. Listen, I-
GUS: I am gonna- I am gonna murder someone.
JACK: Wow.
BURNIE: Gus is pretty territorial about the Let’s Play thing, cause he feels it was taken from the Drunk Tank.
JACK: Oh.
GAVIN: Well, we did- you did the uh, Left for Dead one and we did a Halo:ODST one.
BURNIE: Guys, it’s a Let’s Play. It’s not like you- it’s people playing video games, talking.
GUS: I- I really don’t care. You don’t have to set me up.
BURNIE: You don’t-
GUS: I think I know how to do it.
JACK: I’m being helpful.
BURNIE: Gus- Gus, you do not own the format but you guys are kicking ass. I- Let’s Plays are my favourite kind of thing.
JACK: It’s-
BURNIE: Like-
JACK: It’s so much fun to do as well.
BURNIE: It’s just- it’s just- it’s a blast- a blast to do, I wish I had more time to do some of that stuff. Although I do like your videos Gavin about um, Things To Do In, cause those are super creative. And I- my- I know you guys always give it a hard time but I love Horse.
JACK: We got a- No, Horse is a lot of fun but it’s just like-
GAVIN: Yeah. I think the tournament stuff works great. I love the tournament.
JACK: Yeah, the tournament-
GAVIN: It- It’s not just a friendly-
GUS: I think most people don’t realise, and it’s what you always say, most people don’t realise how much work-
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: -goes into putting an episode of Horse out. How long it takes to fucking win the game and-
GAVIN: The worst-
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: -choose the maps.
GAVIN: The worst thing about Horse is you never know how long it’s going to take.
JACK: Exactly.
GAVIN: It could take like, the whole afternoon sometimes.
JACK: I mean like, when Burnie crushes Gavin Horse-
GAVIN: HEY!
BURNIE: Fuck yes!
JACK: -like, six/seven rounds, that makes my life so much easier.
GAVIN: I was so- I mean, c’mon, I won two rounds. Screw you.
GUS: Yeah, seven rounds.
GAVIN: Oh well, yeah, whatever.
JACK: A math genius there.
GAVIN: I wasn’t listening. I was just taking in the tone of his voice. But-
GUS: Horse plus two is seven. For future reference.
BURNIE: Yeah, that’s what we do with you a lot of times, is you get criticised for being wrong a lot when you’re really not that wrong. I actually thought last week on the podcast, listening to it, your- your comment you made, you actually made it to Ed, you said what time is it in space, cause he was talking about the International Space Station. It’s actually a brilliant question. What time is it in space?
GAVIN: I’ve just given up defending myself at this point, everyone- I ask you a question and everyone goes mental.
GUS: He didn’t say what time is it on the space station, which I can understand, like what time is in space-
GAVIN: We were talking about the space station!
GUS: Shut up, that’s not what you said. You said, what time is in space, it makes me think like all of space has one time zone and I’m like, what time is it in space?
BURNIE: But that’s a brilliant thing to think about.
JACK: Once you cross the atmosphere you have to set your watch to space time.
BURNIE: But you even got mad, you said, I don’t know what time it is on Mars, and I immediately thought, what time is it on Mars? And you know, what’s the date on Mars?
JACK: You’ve been hanging around Gavin too much.
GAVIN: I was always amazed that because light takes y’know, light only travels at a certain speed and when you look at something that’s so far away, you can look at some things through a telescope that, you’re looking at them at a moment in time before the Earth even existed.
GUS: Yes.
GAVIN: So the light started travelling from that object, the Earth then formed and then that light arrived at the Earth now and it’s just crazy to think about.
BURNIE: There’s this- By the way, there’s a certain portion of our podcast that actually is intelligent and has jobs and science, right now they’re all cringing cause they think we’re about to get into a scientific discussion.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: Lets talk about science! We should have a little theme song for that.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: There was a- others- there’s always sites like this on the internet but I found another cool one, I think I was on Reddit over the weekend, where it’s just got a slider and you can slide across different scales down from like this super tiny scale from the smallest particle imaginable-
GAVIN: Yeah.
GUS: -to like, this huge gigantic scale that has like, the entire uh, universe. And uh, you can see how big all that stuff is and there’s a section in the middle of the universe labelled, Observable Universe, which is I guess, all of that.
GAVIN: Yeah, I mean it’s the same with wavelengths of light isn’t it? We can see a tiny, ridiculous small amount -
GUS: I wouldn’t say it’s the same thing but I- I- you-
GAVIN: Yeah, but it’s like there’s so much that’s not observable by our eyes.
BURNIE: Did you watch the video that I sent you last night?
GAVIN: No. What?
BURNIE: I sent you on your iPhone, they have a trillion FPS camera now.
GUS: Oh yeah, we saw- we- we-
GAVIN: What can it- is it like where they show the photon going through-
BURNIE: Right.
GAVIN: That’s not really- They take like one line of pixels tha- at a time though.
BURNIE: Right.
GAVIN: They can only do it on repeatable subjects, like if you were filming something with it, you wouldn’t be able to do it cause it has to be something that moves at the exact same speed every single time.
BURNIE: It’s still cool.
GAVIN: Yeah, it’s awesome.
BURNIE: Yes.
GAVIN: It’s brilliant.
GUS: Didn’t we sit down and try to figure out, if you played back a trillion FPS at thirty frames-
GAVIN: Yeah, how long it would take.
GUS: It was like, millions of year- it was this really ridiculous long amount of time.
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: The guy said if you watched a bullet going through the apple on the camera, it would take you a year to watch it.
JACK: Wow.
BURNIE: Like, y’know, just the time of a bullet punching through the apple that famous photo.
GUS: Yeah, yeah.
BURNIE: If you watched that-
GAVIN: At a trillion frames?
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: Yeah. What a- yeah, I film stuff sometimes where it’s like, I record four seconds and I have three hours worth of footage.
GUS: Didn’t we say like, if you watched something that was a trillion frames a second, you could watch- maybe we did our math wrong, did you- you watch a frame and not observe any movement in your entire life.
GAVIN: Yeah, you can watch it for a lifetime and not see a single thing move. It’d be like watching a stalactite form.
JACK: Wait, a what form?
GAVIN: Stalactite.
JACK: Okay. I’ll give you that one.
GAVIN: What are you-
GUS: Stalactite or stalagmite.
BURNIE: Huh.
GAVIN: Stalagmites are from the ground aren’t they?
BURNIE: I’m looking up relative stuff here-
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: -online cause I was just curious. So, a year on Jupiter like, a year is 12 years.
GUS: So it takes 12 Earth years to-
GAVIN: Go around the sun.
GUS: -rotate around the sun.
BURNIE: 11.86 to be exact.
GUS: Revolve around the-
BURNIE: According to this website, which I’m sure somebody’s gonna write me, some fucking astronomer uh, he’s gonna write me telling me how I’m wrong or astro-phycisist.
GUS: Revolve around the sun, I corrected myself so you don’t have to email me either.
BURNIE: What did you say?
GUS: I said rotate at first.
BURNIE: Oh, okay. Uh, but then also, the day th- the actual rotation of the planet, is only nine hours. So, it rotates faster than Earth, much faster cause it’s huge.
GAVIN: Yeah.
GUS: There are some planets where their rotation speed and their revolution speed match up, right? That’s gotta happen, where they’re always only face one side.
GAVIN: Well that’s the same as-
JACK: Isn’t Mercury-
GAVIN: -the moon is like that.
GUS: The moon is like that, that’s true.
GAVIN: You’ve only ever seen one side of the moon.
JAK: Isn’t Mercury like that?
GUS: I think Mercury’s very close to it.
BURNIE: Is it true?
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: I think so.
GAVIN: No, well Mercury has- yeah, we talked about this last week.
BURNIE: So theoretically, there is a part of Mercury between the sun and the cold of space where it could be habitable, if it’s 72 degrees.
GAVIN: Would that- no, cause it is rotating, it’s just rotating slower than-
BURNIE: You could stick to- yeah.
GAVIN: You’d have to keep moving but just- just keep trekking on that thin line of light.
BURNIE: It’s a great short story like, the astronaut who lands in that space and has to just keep moving or he’ll die.
GUS: There’s a-
GAVIN: Or he’ll get really cold.
GUS: There’s an episode of Futurama like that, where they’re on the moon and they can’t- like, their spacesuits aren’t heated and they have to stay out of the shadows.
BURNIE: Oh yeah.
GUS: Cause it- it’s creeping up on them.
BURNIE: Would rather have- what would you rather have chasing you, would you rather have the hot side chasing you or the cold side chasing you?
GAVIN: The cold side, cause then when you run, it would be easier to keep warm.
GUS: I want a McBLT now.
BURNIE: I thought the same thing too.
GUS: Like, you’ve got the hot side and the cold side.
BURNIE: It’s a McDLT.
GUS: Oh, is it a McDLT?
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: What is it?
GUS: It was this old stupid sandwich McDonalds had, years ago, where they gave it to you in a styrofoam container and like the- it was like, y’know what a BLT is right?
GAVIN: Yeah.
GUS: It’s basically a BLT but the bacon was in a side that was kept hot and the lettuce and the bread was in the side that was kept cold.
BURNIE: It wasn’t- it wasn’t-
GAVIN: You had to build it yourself?
GUS: Yeah and then you put it together. You put like, the hot side and the cold side together, that was fresh and you ate it.
BURNIE: The hot sides hot and the cool sides cool.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: That’s how they advertised it. But I don’t think it was- I think it was a burger, it wasn’t a BLT.
GUS: Oh, was it? I don’t know.
BURNIE: I don’t know why-
GUS: I never ordered it.
BURNIE: I don’t know why they called it a McD- a McDLT but it was a big deal like, here’s a picture of it, they would serve it to you in a separate- in separate pieces like that. And then you-
GAVIN: I want that.
BURNIE: -then you put it together yourself.
GAVIN: It looks nice.
GUS: I think uh, they- they did away with it because it used a ton of styrofoam.
BURNIE Yeah, right?
GUS: To uh- for the packaging.
BURNIE: There was a point in time where Styrofoam just went- seemed to go away entirely.
GUS: It was pretty quick.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: Like I feel like- ‘member when Big Macs used to come- everything came in a Styrofoam, and now y-you… I-I can’t even think of a single thing served to me in Styrofoam anymore. You see a Styrofoam cup occasionally.
JACK: Yeah. C-Cups and those coolers you get the- the-
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: -cheap coolers at the grocery store.
GAVIN: I recently uhh poured some Petrol in a Styrofoam cup and it just melted through the cup.
BURNIE: Yeah it’ll do that.
GAVIN: I didn’t know that would happen.
BURNIE: Yeah, it’ll do that with uhh nail polish too.
JACK: Did you do that intentionally or were you like I’ve got, I’ve got petrol I need to put in a cup.
BURNIE: It’s probably a Slow Mo Guys video.
GAVIN: Yeah, it’s for Slow Mo gu- I can’t remember what I was filming.
JACK: Okay.
GAVIN: But I was- I remember being surprised it was- it was like the scene in Alien, and blood just melts through the ship.
BURNIE: I think that- that could be very dangerous.
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: I’m sure you had fire nearby for the f-
GAVIN: Once fire’s nearby it’s like OUP!
BURNIE: Yeah. Shit.
GUS: I think that’s one of the steps for making Napalm.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: Also… I’ve- Yeah, be careful about this, but I think one of the ways that you can make one of those napalm style explosives is you just get gas and just throw Styrofoam blocks until it turns into a goop. And then it turns into this-
GAVIN: Sounds about right.
BURNIE: -flaming goop that you can throw and shit.
GUS: And then you are an awful headline in the newspaper.
BURNIE: Right. D- Please don’t do that at home. Please god.
GAVIN: Christopher Lloyd kills himself with Napalm.
BURNIE: So there’s lots of speculation about Breaking Bad, and how it’s gonna end? And I
thought the perfect ending for Breaking Bad.
JACK: How was that?
BURNIE: I’d do a Sopranos style ending? Where their meth lab just blows up. Like literally like- literally like hand me that- BOW! And then like… that’s the end of it. ‘Cause isn’t that how all meth labs go is they all eventually blow up?
GUS: That’s really-
GAVIN: I love how-
GUS: -That’s really funny.
GAVIN: I love abrupt stuff. We were doing that live stream for Achievement Hunter’s 4th birthday the other day and uhm, the power went out on one side of the room and it went out on the other side of the room which was holding the stream, so you- you see me like leaning back from the computer and then I go, “OH! Power cut!” and then you here the thing going BOOP BOOP BOOP, and Ray goes, “What the f-“ and then it just cuts.
JACK: Yeah!
GUS: So, I love… I-I was sitting there in the room when that happened. I love how y’all were,” Oh the power’s out” and no one gets up. Everyone just sits there. I was like,” Well I guess I’ll have to go and flip the fucking break.”
GAVIN: I didn’t know-
GUS: If I wasn’t there who was- who was gonna do it?
GAVIN: I don’t know where the breakers are!
GUS: Here, let me read this: -
BURNIE: If you couldn’t find them, couldn’t you just investigate and find them based on common sense?
GAVIN: Could I find the breakers in this building?
BURNIE: Gavin, what is a breaker?
GUS: Have you ever seen a breaker?
BURNIE: What is a breaker? What does th-
GAVIN: It’s the-
BURNIE: -breaker do?
GAVIN: It’s the switches isn’t it? They trip when th- s- when somethin’ bad happens.
BURNIE: When something bad happens.
GAVIN: When bad electricity happens they flip over and you have to flip ‘em back.
BURNIE: Okay. SO normally good electricity flows, and if it gets a piece of bad electricity-
GAVIN: I’m actually- ‘cause- ‘cause there’s too much stuff that’s turned on at the same time-
BURNIE: But wh- but what is that? Like what causes the breaker to flip, like what is that. Like i- describe to me how it works, like what it is- who invented this.
GAVIN: Like a fuse?
BURNIE: Sort of yeah. So what is it- what is it that w-
GAVIN: We have… yeah.
BURNIE: But what is it, what causes it.
GAVIN: You don’t have fuses in your plugs in this country do you?
BURNIE: Fuses in our plugs. Some- some do, but no, typically no.
GAVIN: Because it’s too small to fit a fuse in. Like all of our plugs are big fat 3 pin ones and then there’s the fuse that sits in the middle.
BURNIE: Well…
GAVIN: And then you have to change the fuse when…
BURNIE: No offense but most of your electricity like infrastructure was built in like the late Victorian era, so I would understand that.
GAVIN: Alright, chill out.
BURNIE: Where was electricity invented, I mean we talked about this before right? Wh- why is that person not like the greatest person on the planet, like whoever invented electricity.
GAVIN: You don’t invent electricity.
BURNIE: I know ch-
GUS: Well you learn how to harvest it.
BURNIE: Like we have- we have folklore in America that Ben Franklin is the guy who discovered electricity.
JACK: Yeah, yeah. I’m-
GAVIN: Didn’t Edison make it?
JACK: -I’m a little nervous about talking about Edison and Tesla, and about current, and
alternating current-
GUS: But also there’s someone before them-
JACK: Yeah yeah.
GUS: -who started this.
BURNIE: you know what I’m gonna say right now? Tesla’s a fucking hack.
JACK: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
BURNIE: People who believe Tesla are like- he’s- he’s such a like-
JACK: You gotta be careful about that.
BURNIE: It’s such- it’s such horse shit when you read all that stuff. It’s like w- and everyone’s so interested in ‘im, nobody’s been able to replicate his shit since then, what’s up with that, so much crap.
GUS: What are you talking about?
BURNIE: He’s a fucking magician. That’s all it is!
GAVIN: No!
JACK: No.
BURNIE: It’s all horse shit!
JACK: Gus- Gus read your thing.
BURNIE: Alright. Go ahead.
GUS: I-I-I gotta read this. We’ll get back to our-our sturdy discussion. Uhm, this podcast is also brought to you by Twitch.tv, the world’s largest videogame broadcasting and chat community. Twitch.tv features video from top videogame personalities, players, tournaments, leagues, and commentary in addition to the most active and interesting discussion around videogames. One channel to consider is the Mega64 podcast… or ours in the future. To get started discovering awesome games and players just check out Twitch.tv… Uhm…
JACK: Tesla’s not-
BURNIE: Tesla’s-
GUS: So…
BURNIE: Let’s get away from it ‘cause it’ll just make people mad.
JACK: You’re gonna piss off a lot of people.
GAVIN: B-B-B-But most of the people-
BURNIE: yeah, like most of the people who play Command and Conquer are gonna get pissed at me.
GAVIN: What’s the most useful thing Tesla did for us.
JACK: Created uhh direct current? Or alternating current? Which one was his?
GUS: He- he championed direct current.
JACK: Direct current.
GAVIN: How is that a magic trick.
BURNIE: Listen. I’m talking about all the Tesla coils and all that stuff that he did where he’d have power that would wirelessly go across the room.
GAVIN: The earthquake machine.
BURNIE: It’s horse shit. It’s horse shit! I know like- stuff like direct current, I get, y’know, but I also get alternating current and why they did that, but Edison pulled some horse shit- did you ever hear what he did to the- did to fight direct current?
JACK: Yeah. He was like shocking things and killing elephants-
BURNIE: he- he killed an elephant to show how evil it is, y’know.
JACK: But- but Tesla, he worked on a lot of stuff that ended up being big, like he worked on
Sonar, and and I think radio waves? Like I th- I- even when Marconi was working on radio stuff like he- yeah, like anyways-
GUS: I’ll- I’ll be honest with some stuff, like I don’t know a lot about Tesla, and- and to prove
Burnie’s point, everything I know about Tesla is from- because of Command and Conquer and Tesla coils because like- it’s like a gap in my knowledge.
GAVIN: Do you think you’ve- he’s rolling around his grave pissed of his legacy because he’s only known-
BURNIE: No. He’s immortal, so he’s still alive wandering around waiting to be rescued.
GUS: People talk about him, yeah.
BURNIE: I think- y’know, when- when- most of the stuff you read about Tesla’s on like, some
like… fringe webpage where an mp3 plays in the background.
JACK: No, actually uhh-
BURNIE: An mp3 file.
GUS: They still meet on news Groups.
JACK: Yeah, yeah,
JACK: Actually the oatmeal, the guy who does the comi- the oatmeal?
GAVIN: I saw that.
JACK: He did a really cool-
GAVIN: It was really long.
JACK: -thing between Edison and Tesla. You should link that.
BURNIE: Listen. The discussion of Edison and Tesla is interesting because it’s- it shows what happens when somebody monopolizes a scientific endeavor.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: Or an academic endeavor, and just like, suppresses everything else. That’s interesting.
JACK: Yeah, like Edison everything he was doing was to make money off of or Tesla was
creating stuff for the good of mankind.
GAVIN: Yeah, you’d think that everyone at that time would be going for the good of mind ‘cause-
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: some people just put- some people just want to sell and make money.
JACK: Edison would just like scoop up patents and stuff and put- put a price tag on it. So.
Anyway, I-I’m talking a lot of this out of my ass, a lot of this stuff but.
GUS: Oh, y-you’re in trouble. You’re gonna get some-
JACK: Oh I’m sure. I’m gonna get some-
GUS: -You’re gonna get some e-mails.
JACK: I’m gonna catch a lot of shit.
BURNIE: Uh uh let’s talk about something for a sec, let’s talk about technology and all that,
uhmm, one of the things that I’ve always talked to Gavin about was putting your life online, like recording pictures n’ being logged into Google when you’re searching?
GUS: Mmhmm.
BURNIE: Which was actually another part of that banned RTAA, was about stealing Geoff’s lawnmower-
GUS: Oh right, yeah yeah.
BURNIE: -in relation to Google, uhmm, there was a second segment that was cut. But, did you read the story about target informing a dad that his daughter is pregnant-
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: -based on her shopping algorithms?
GUS: I heard about that.
BURNIE: …Yeah.
GAVIN: Why would they do that?
BURNIE: They didn’t- they didn’t do it intentionally.
GAVIN: Oh.
BURNIE: So… D’you ever go shopping at say Target or one of those big stores, and they want you to get their card? Which is not a credit card but it’s just like-
GAVIN: Oh!
BURNIE: -if you have-
GAVIN: I’ve- never do one of those.
BURNIE: FUCK no! You should NOT do that, I totally agree with you. Like the CBS card…
GAVIN: The rewards are never good enough to even bother with, and half the time I forget the stuff ‘n… there’s no point.
BURNIE: It’s-
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: What d’you got there?
JACK: That’s a Ralph’s reward card. I have from when I was living in Los Angeles.
BURNIE: Why’s that hanging on your keychain.
GUS: I-It’s handy that you still have it hanging on your fucking keychain.
JACK: Actually i-
GUS: The closest Ralph’s is probably 1500 miles away.
GAVIN: What the hell’s Ralph’s.
JACK: It’s funny actually I we- I went out to Los Angeles for an event for a video game thing one time, and I went to Ralph’s for a drink and this saved me like three bucks.
GUS: Tha-that is pretty funny. You’re right.
GAVIN: You’re carrying this all this time?
JACK: It’s awesome!
BURNIE: No that just makes you a sucker that you had that on your keychain. Look at that
enormous keychain that you have.
JACK: What?
BURNIE: You have- I would not put up with that. I have one key on my keychain that’s it.
GUS: Why do you have a keychain then, why not just carry the key.
BURNIE: I have my FOB for my remote.
GAVIN: I’m at the point where I don’t wanna keep anything ‘cause- I used to be like, “I might need this one day, I’m gonna keep it” and then it like got to the point where I did need it and I forgot where I put it because it was 4 years ago, so now anything I think I might need, I just throw it away immediately. And then I’ll worry about not having it at the time instead of storing it for four years of my life.
GUS: Yeah, that’s stupid.
BURNIE: This british cocksucker here…
GAVIN: Hey hey!
BURNIE: Going through security at the airport is a fucking nightmare. He always gets selected for secondary search? Because his backpack is so filled with every cord and component he owns! He hauls around this enormous hard drive so he can edit on the fly? But he- he puts it in his backpack.
GAVIN: That’s the only reason they do it because they’ve got hard drives- I’ve got 2 hard drives that I carry around with me.
BURNIE: That’s what I’m saying! I’m saying that you constantly stop-
GAVIN: Well I don’t-
BURNIE: -Well DON’T DO IT!
GAVIN: not when you’re with me. How am gonna edit stuff?
BURNIE: PUT IT- Put it in your carry on. NOT in your backpack.
GAVIN: I don’t have carry on.
BURNIE: Uhhhggg it fucking kills me. It-
GUS: You put it out and put it in the uh bin, along with your laptop.
GAVIN: Yeah?
BURNIE: But he- he also- he also doesn’t take it out and put it in a separate bin to run it through the X-ray? And then so he thinks, ”Oh maybe it’ll go through this time”?
GUS: Oh god…
BURNIE: And of course, it never fuckin’ does.
JACK: You can put all your major electronics in bins.
GAVIN: Usually I just put my laptop and everything else goes through. Sometimes it doesn’t. In Australia they caught it, that’s why but over here they d- they don’t give a damn about hard drives.
GUS: Hm.
BURNIE: It looks like y-you look at the x-ray picture, it looks like there’s a bomb squad like in the back of a truck in his like fucking backpack.
JACK: Did you remove all your liquids and put them in a separate bag?
BURNIE: No, I don’t do that.
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: I don’t- I don’t take liquids. How much did you take?
JACK: I take toothpaste.
GAVIN: I take toothpaste and shampoo.
GUS: I don’t brush my teeth.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: Gum.
BURNIE: I’m a hypocrite.
JACK: Uh-oh.
BURNIE: I’m a hypocrite. So I’m gonna bring up something that’s gonna immediately reveal that I’m a hypocrite and I’m okay with that.
JACK: Okay.
BURNIE: So fuck off. Uhm, I said don’t register for stuff and don’t let them track you? There’s also a court case about a guy who slipped and fell in a supermarket? And they used his buying history from his affinity card to show that he buys a lot of alcohol and said well maybe you were drunk. When you fell in the store. I mean think about that! That’s-
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: That’s unbelie- an old man! How shitty is that? ‘Cause he fucking slipped and broke his hip in your goddamn store. But anyway Target what they did was they started sending baby coupons because this woman was- this girl was buying prenatal vitamins. It actually sounds a little bit like an urban legend, BUT it does show that they can track all the stuff. It’s why they do it, ‘cause that information is worth something.
GAVIN: But wh-wh- I don’t understand why her dad got it.
BURNIE: ‘Cause the dad called to complain as why are you sending my daughter coupons for baby wipes and for diapers.
GAVIN: But how would he know that they-
BURNIE: ‘Cause she was living at the house.
JACK: She was living with him.
BURNIE: his teenaged daughter.
GAVIN: Oh, through the actual mail?
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: Oh I get it.
BURNIE: And he’s like yo- Why are you people trying to encourage teenage sex and getting my daughter pregnant? And then the manager called back the next day to apologize, and the dad said I actually owe you an apology, my daughter is pregnant, and that Target predicted that she was pregnant.