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GUS: This episode of Rooster Teeth Podcast is brought to you by Hover.com. Hover is domain name registration and management that’s simple. For 10% off of your new domain, go to Hover.com/roosterteeth and enter show code “roosterteeth”… Eat that. I’m trying to read an ad here.
BURNIE: I’m so-I-I-
GUS: THIS PODCAST IS ALSO BROUGHT TO YOU BY TWITCH.TV, the world’s largest
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BURNIE: It’s food on its own dude!
GUS: Join the community, chat with your friends, start broadcasting your gameplay, and connect with a whole universe of gaming fanatics at Twitch.tv.
[Intro Song]
GUS: Probably the most used soundbite in all of our theme song entries.
BURNIE: What’s that?
GAVIN: “Go with the theme song”.
JACK: Go with the theme song!
GUS: Oh, that and the “RT-“
BURNIE: RT Podcast theme song!
GAVIN: I like the plinky plunky Seinfeld guitar thing they’ve got going on there.
JACK: That was definitely the Casio keyboard with the demo button.
BURNIE: Those back in the days when- am I- can you guys hear me okay?
GUS: Yeah. You’re uhh, this is you I think.
BURNIE: Pardon us everyone while we have a technical moment- ohh that feels so much better.
GUS: That sound better?
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: CRICKET.
GUS: Okay.
BURNIE: So we actually wear headphones when we record the podcast so we can hear
ourselves through our headphones.
GUS: So we can hear how terrible we are.
BURNIE: Some people it seems like don’t listen to themselves. I-I’m just gonna guess Joel never listens to himself.
GUS: Normally it’s a good thing because it helps prevent you from talking over people constantly. Joel always has his headphones on in one ear, so he must be deaf in the ear that the headphone is on, ‘cause that motherfucker will talk over anyone.
BURNIE: Well that defeats the whole goddamn purpose of the headphones. The headphones are for isolation so that you can hear other people when they’re talking.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: Tha- That’s the whole point.
GUS: And… Huhhh, th-that guy, he talks over people so frequently. In one of the recent Animated Adventures the hotdog quotes? Uhh…
BURNIE: What the fuck?
GUS: I-I-I’m trying to-y’know, my- I’m giving lines in the- in the animated adventure and you can hear Joel in the background trying to talk over me.
BURNIE: And poor, poor Jordan who makes the Animated Adventure has t-
GAVIN: Has to cut around that.
BURNIE: -and Joel’s out-
GUS: Ahh, this- this week’s animated adventure, I don’t know if you guys’ve seen it yet, is the uhh “My Blue Eyes!” the- the story Miles told about the uhhh playing cards?
BURNIE: God, I could not- I have not seen that.
GUS: I’ll- I’ll show it to you guys when we’re done here.
GAVIN: I like the one last week of the pilot. Thought it was funny.
JACK: Yeah the goat sitting next to Geoff was pretty good.
BURNIE: Ba-
GAVIN: I’m the-
JACK: And Gavin is the retarded -
GAVIN: -dumb co-pilot. Thanks Jordan.
BURNIE: I like how you make your way into a uhh uhh RTAA that you’re not even in the
discussion at all, are you?
GUS: No.
GAVIN: No I’m just there.
BURNIE: You just like-
GUS: Well we needed like-
GAVIN: I’m just a character.
GUS: -a stupid character.
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: You just get screen time regardless.
GAVIN: Yeah.
JACK: Gavin represents dumb.
GUS: J-Jordan didn’t want to have to draw another character, so he re-used-
GAVIN: Re-used his assets.
GUS: -re-used an asset.
BURNIE: So, Blawndee and I, Barbara- can we still call Barb, Blawndee?
GAVIN: I haven’t called her Blawndee in a long time.
JACK: She officially changed on the site right? So I don’t s- I don’t know if you can anymore.
BURNIE: You haven’t heard--her Twitter account is “Blawndee”.
JACK: So it’s @Blawndee.
BURNIE: Yeah. I wonder if at any point she was “blondie” spelt normally. B-L-O-N-D-I-E.
GUS: or that- maybe that was constantly like taken on the internet so she had to settle?
BURNIE: It makes sense.
GUS: I-I rewatched the Good the Bad and the Ugly this past weekend.
BURNIE: It’s fuckin’ great.
GUS: And uhh-
GAVIN: Never seen it.
GUS: Two girls always call the Clint Eastwood character “Blondie”-
BURNIE: Yeah.
GUS: -throughout the movie? It was really disconcerning. ‘Cause I think of Barbara the entire time.
BURNIE: So Ga-
GUS: “BLONDIE DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! BLONDIE!”
BURNIE: My only hope is that FinchLynch will hear you say that, and he will edit together
something where he replaces Clint Eastwood-
GUS: With Barbara?
BURNIE: -with Barbara in everything. Barbara in a poncho.
JACK: Alright, so what were you saying, Burns?
BURNIE: So w- last night we were hanging out on Google Plus w- literally hanging out, we were doing a “Hangout”.
JACK: Nice.
BURNIE: I can’t say literally “hanging out” because it sounds weird.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: It sounds a little weird.
JACK: That’s a- that’s a-
GAVIN: It started- it started with a cool- it had all these cool features but then they name them in ways where I don’t want to use ‘em.
BURNIE: Like “Hangouts”?
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: Yeah. I don’t do a “hhhangout” online.
GUS: “Hhhhangout”, what are you, me? You talking like me or…?
BURNIE: Hhhhey man! Whhant ta hhhhhangout?
JACK: Hhhhhhh!
GAVIN: How’s it going lads.
JACK: Hhhhhhh!
BURNIE: but uhh, it’s one of the things you can do is when you’re “hhhhanging out” you can
embed a YouTube video uhh into the “hhhangout” and play it for everyone else, and th- And
everyone- it’s cool because it syncs it like, and if somebody else pauses it, then it pauses there.
GAVIN: Sounds like the worst thing in the world.
BURNIE: Well i- if you- s- supposedly err, theoretically you know people who are in the hangout with you.
GAVIN: Right.
JACK: Yeah, “hhhangout”.
BURNIE: But I think you can only have 12 people in a hangout.
GUS: You know we have very similar functionality on Rooster Teeth and we don’t have that
bullshit 12 person limit.
BURNIE: And you can play video.
GAVIN: Sponsor Chat right?
BURNIE: Well, not everyone can play video, we can play a video.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: We can-
JACK: Well that seems better. Perfect.
GUS: Perfect, I don’t see the problem!
BURNIE: It does a cool thing though, when you’re playing a video, in that it mutes everybody, and you have to push a button to talk. So at that point you then have to be an asshole…
GAVIN: That’s pretty cool.
BURNIE: … to t- talk over the video.
GAVIN: Oh, might start using these.
BURNIE: But we were- uh we did something where, we embed videos, and so I tested it by
playing the one and only banned RTAA video. ‘Cause I-
GUS: Ooohhhh.
BURNIE: -had it on my laptop. So I played that.
GAVIN: oh so it’s like the exclusive screening?
BURNIE: Well yeah. Well it was only me and Barb, and uh a guy named Trevor, he’s on the site. Do you guys know Trevor?
GAVIN: So you uhh-
GUS: I don’t think so.
GAVIN: -you were hanging out with just Barbara and some bloke called Trevor?
BURNIE: Yeah. Pretty much.
GAVIN: Wow.
GUS: Oh wow, sounds like a wild time.
GAVIN: Whoo!
BURNIE: We were testing functionality! Come on!
JACK: Is that what you call it?
BURNIE: That’s what you call it online.
GUS: I-I-It went from earlier hanging out and having fun to testing functionality, I see the backpeddle happening. Like whoa whoa whoa hey hey hey we were just- nothing, it was work.
BURNIE: It’s all good. It’s all good. He’s from Canada, it’s all okay. It-It’s not gay if he’s from
Canada. Men up there like women anyway. Actually that’s more like you.
JACK: So it’s well known there is a banned RTAA?
BURNIE: No it’s why I brought it up. Th-There’s one Rooster Teeth Animated Adventure that did not make the cut.
GUS: Yeah we talked about it at the uhhh RTX-
JACK: Not because of their quality-
GUS: -RTX Panel.
JACK: -Not because of quality, but, because of content.
GUS: Because of butthurt.
BURNIE: He just- the raw anger that somebody had. Ohh. But that happens y’know? We- we give people- the point is, on the podcast we don’t want to censor ourselves.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: In when we talk because we want to be able to talk freely, and so the way that we
approach the production of the podcast is that so you can say anything, but if you say
something, you realize that later it may be extremely damaging to your life, you can go back and ask Lindsay to remove it before it gets put out-
GUS: Yes.
BURNIE: -And then she forgets- forgets.
JACK: Say unless you’re me, then…
BURNIE: And-
JACK: It’s comin’ out anyway.
GUS: Th- That doesn’t damage anyone.
BURNIE: And then you’re-
JACK: Fuck you!
BURNIE: Then you’re living in a new apartment by the freeway.
GAVIN: H-Have you ever used that?
BURNIE: What?
GAVIN: That card? The uhh, remove a bit?
BURNIE: Uh I have used it in a s- in a- in a like a business sense.
GAVIN: Ahh.
BURNIE: Where I thought I said something about something that I shouldn’t be saying.
JACK: Yeah we’ve talked about games before.
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: And stuff, and it’s like one of those things likes- I’m not sure if that’s public yet, and so.
GUS: Yeah, like a couple weeks ago we talked about SFM on the podcast, and we weren’t sure if we said anything we shouldn’t have so we cleared it-
GAVIN: Right.
GUS: -to make sure that it was all public- stuff that was publically known.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: I-I did it recently didn’t I? When you played that clip of me on the desk at Disneyland. At that hotel.
JACK: What?
GUS: Yeah, you did, but no one’s gonna remember that! You only- you only brought that up to me directly you moron.
GAVIN: Oh yeah.
GUS: You didn’t bring it up to anyone else! I know what you’re talking ‘bout, ‘cause it got cut. They have no idea what you’re talking about.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: He played the clip now didn’t he?
GUS: BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW IT GOT CUT!
GAVIN: OH.
BURNIE: I don’t know what you’re talking about!
JACK: Wait what?
GAVIN: I- when I- when I was drunk at Vidcon, and you played that audio clip I was like no- euhh. Get rid of it.
BURNIE: Did you really?
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: You’re such a baby too, ‘cause you record everybody doing everything and then y-
GAVIN: Yeah I- but I don’t put them on the internet now do I? It’s for my own private-
JACK: What’s on your phone, if that phone ever hits the internet.
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: Good god.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: There’s nothing on that phone.
GUS: Yeah, th-
JACK: That’s a lie.
GAVIN: I j- I- I clear it regularly, it’s on my Mac.
BURNIE: Bull. Shit. Look at your photo library, how many photos do you have in your photo library right now?
GAVIN: Ph-Photo library, I have every photo I’ve ever taken.
BURNIE: Well there you go!
JACK: What, this is what we’re talking about!
GUS: All your videos!
GAVIN: WE WERE TALKING ‘BOUT VIDEOS!
GUS: The videos are in there too you idiot!
GAVIN: No there’s no videos in there.
BURNIE: Gavin, Gavin has a phone-
GUS: L-Let me loo-
BURNIE: -on the front at all times.
GUS: You tell me there’s no video in your photo library.
GAVIN: There’s not- there’s videos in the Camera Roll. Is that what you’re talking about?
JACK: I-It’s the-!
GUS: That’s what I’m fucking talking about!
JACK: It’s the same thing!
BURNIE: What are you- what are you talking about?
GAVIN: I’ve got two things. One’s Camera Roll, one’s Photo Library, see. One of them is my entire iPhoto library and the other one is the stuff I’ve taken here.
GUS: Right. So we’re saying you have everything on there!
GAVIN: No I delete videos ‘cause I c- ‘cause I fill it up constantly by taking so many videos!
BURNIE: So, you move your videos to your iPhoto Library on your computer but you keep your photos on there. Photos are just as fucking damning!
GAVIN: Nah.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: Every time you see one of those uhh what those tabloid sites…
JACK: May- Maybe more so, there’s no context with photos. It’s just a single still.
GUS: Photoshop.
JACK: A-Atleast a video you get some context.
GUS: Photoshop.
BURNIE: There you go, exactly. Photoshop. Text edit. Everythings a lie. What is the most d- have you ever taken a photo that you think would be utterly damning?
GUS: Taken a photo, or been the subject of a photo?
BURNIE: Well… Let me think about this.
GUS: Uhh…
BURNIE: I got really drunk one time, let me tell you a good story.
GAVIN: The fulcrum story?
BURNIE: The fulcrum story.
GAVIN: I didn’t take any pictures that night.
BURNIE: I got so-
JACK: I got some photos from that night.
BURNIE: You do?
JACK: Yeah, I got a photo of you on my profile from that night.
BURNIE: You’re a fuckin’ douche. Two photos that night-
JACK: I don’t think I have any photos of you…
BURNIE: This is th- the fulcrum night, people have asked about the fulcrum, because it was one of the characters in the-
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: -episode 50 of the RTAA? One time Gus had a party at his house, and that’s a rare thing to begin with.
GUS: Th-The one and only time.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: There’s no point in describing like that, you can just refer to it as “The Party”.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: ‘Cause it’s the only party where anything happened.
BURNIE: Right. Like what- do you really think that’s true?
GAVIN: It was mental! It was mental night!
BURNIE: So I showed up at that party and e- every now and then I will do this where I decide I’m gonna get drunk.
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: And I, that’s my goal for the evening is to get drunk.
GAVIN: Hide your keys.
BURNIE: Hide my keys, hide my-
JACK: Your plan was to get drunk early, and then sober up at the party. That’s what you told me when I walked in.
BURNIE: Ohh! That makes sense.
GAVIN: I thought your plan was to get drunk earlier-
JACK: You were like-
GUS: That makes- that’s like Dr-Drunk Burnie logic.
JACK: I’m gonna get hammered, but I’m gonna stay here and g- sober up, and then I’m gonna go-
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: -home.
BURNIE: And then I’m gonna go home because I’ll be sober by that point.
GAVIN: I thought your plan was to get super drunk earlier and bring me down crashing and
burning with you.
GUS: I thought your plan was to get so drunk you came back around as sober.
BURNIE: You wh- You wanna, you wanna- is at that drunk level where you’re like, “I live here
now. “
JACK: Yep.
BURNIE: “This is- this is my house.”
JACK: This is mine.
BURNIE: But I- so… That was… I wonder how that party would’ve gone if I hadn’t showed up… and done that, like literally walked in…
GAVIN: Well I would’ve been fine the next day.
BURNIE: I walked right into the middle of the kitchen where everyone was just having a normal… social chit-chat and I s- did I put-put it on the table? A bottle of-
GUS: A bottle of Tequila.
GAVIN: -Tequila, yeah. And a- a load of shot glasses.
BURNIE: And I said-
GUS: And a lime.
GAVIN: And a lime.
BURNIE: And I said, “We’re getting drunk.” And that was at like about 7:30, I think? And it was like immediately…
GAVIN: And then cuts later that night where I’m in a leather jacket with a pink feather boa riding Burnie around like a bull.
JACK: And I think I-I have that photo.
GAVIN: Please. God.
GUS: God.
BURNIE: Oh God no!
GUS: So, s-
BURNIE: Oh GOD NO!
GUS: It’s come back full circle. There’s th-th-the damning photo.
BURNIE: Ohhhh yeah see-
JACK: Yeah it’s just a photo of Gavin. I-I had a photo of Gavin wearing a leather jacket and a pink feather boa.
GAVIN: Oh, well then that’s half the story now isn’t it?
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: So Gus h-
JACK: It’s not terribly damning.
BURNIE: Gus had an outdoor porch, and I got so drunk that I was literally on the ground for about thirty minutes out there… and we-
GUS: You were happy!
BURNIE: I was- I was happy. The ground was my friend. And uhh, Gus came out and he saw people partygoers taking pictures of me on the ground? And he went around and took
everybody’s phone and said, “Delete those photos, let me see you delete them.”
GAVIN: You’re a good friend.
GUS: Yeah!
BURNIE: That- that right there-
GAVIN: You did not do that for me though.
BURNIE: That. Right there-
GUS: I did not do that for you as- that is why the fact that that photo’s there.
BURNIE: I love how the photo’s blurry.
GUS: It’s like a picture of a sasquatch or something, like you kind of know what’s going on over there.
GAVIN: It looks like some audition for some model shoot, that I- I didn’t get the job.
GUS: Yeah, I- a model shoot.
BURNIE: Th- That is the saddest boa ever. It looks like a pink rat tail. It looks like something you win at a carnival.
JACK: And that’s a woman’s jacket too right?
BURNIE: Well it’s Gavin.
GAVIN: Do you work here? Did you write vagina on the bottom there?
JACK: No I uhh I wrote uhh, yeah, vagino.
BURNIE: Vagino.
JACK: It’s like Vagino, Gavino.
GUS: one of- one of- of Gav’s many great nicknames.
GAVIN: Yeah. That was uhhh, Jason, used to call me “Vagino” a lot.
JACK: I don’t think- are you not wearing shoes? Or is that like a thick sock you’re wearing?
GAVIN: Who- who knows. Who knows. Who needs shoes on a night like that.
BURNIE: I was- I was so worried i- I had like a weird thing. You know how you get that feeling when you wake up the next day after I’m massive drunk, and you have this hollow, shame-
GAVIN: I do know that, yeah!
BURNIE: -that shameful feeling of like, “Uhhhhgg, what did I do?” Like… I r- I ruined everything in my life last night. So I actually went back to your house? ‘Cause I had this weird feeling that I had ruined your screened in porch.
GUS: I-I know because l-l- the next day I was sitting there watching TV, and uh I saw movement like outside my- l- window on the side of my house, and I looked and I was like,” Hey, Burnie’s there!” It was you ‘n- you and your son were walking down, you were like looking over the fence and in my backyard, I was like,” What the fuck’s he doing?”
BURNIE: I was making sure I hadn’t messed up your por-
GAVIN: Well you just knock on the door and say-
GUS: No, he didn’t say anything.
BURNIE: No.
GUS: He just like came in the alley next to my house, like looked in my backyard and then took off.
BURNIE: I did.
GAVIN: You didn’t even say hi?
JACK: That’s not creepy at all.
GAVIN: That’s really weird.
JACK: That’s not- that’s not creepy at all.
BURNIE: I didn’t want to wake him up!
GAVIN: Well it’d be if you didn’t know the guy, then yeah.
GUS: It was like 2PM!
BURNIE: It’s Gus! I didn’t look in your bedroom window or anything, did I?
GUS: I don’t know, I wasn’t in the bedroom!
BURNIE: No, I uhh- so I-I think that night Matt drove me home… Where’s I, I don’t even know where I ended up that night. I really don’t remember, I think Matt drove me home, and then I was driven back to pick up a uhh my car, and then I just like went and looked, and made sure I didn’t destroy the uhh the screened in porch.
GUS: Hm.
BURINE: So. Anyway, so that was- that was a night where I loved Gus because Gus deleted photos of me. And I remember that he did that. That’s like the only thing I remember him doing.
GUS: Yeah I don’t know how you were that drunk, on the floor, loving it, b-but you still remember I deleted photos.
BURNIE: That might- I- a –u- a- back in college I used to get that drunk, but I don’t think I’ve been that drunk in a long time. I was annoying and sloppy, and thank god. Here’s a great strategy: If you’re gonna get sloppy drunk, the best thing to do is get everyone else equally as drunk.
JACK: Yeah, that’s a g-
GAVIN: Well ‘cause you got me more drunk than you, I’m so much lighter.
GUS: Well, when someone else is drunker, then you’re not the drunkest person, everyone’s not paying attention to you.
GAVIN: Yeah.
GUS: You’re like,” Look at that guy, that guy’s even drunker than I am!”
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: It’s like a deflection.
BURNIE: I thin- I have a theory that everybody is a certain kind of drunk. Some people are angry drunks. You get rid of them pretty quickly in your life.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: Uhmmm…
JACK: A-Angry drunks are the worst.
BURNIE: They are the worst.
GUS: Do you- do you think getting drunk off of different liquor affects you’re- the type of drunk you are, differently?
BURNIE: I don’t know.
GAVIN: That would- that’d be cool.
JACK: I would think so.
BURNIE: I don’t think so.
GAVIN: if you could drink certain things to have different outcomes.
GUS: Mm.
GAVIN: It’s like when you- what’s that stuff you could do in the Sims, where if you took it you
became different in some way.
GUS: …Great story.
BURINE: That was a good explanation though.
GUS: Yeah yeah.
BURNIE: We can all picture this thing.
GAVIN: What was that thing, it’s like different coloured…
BURINE: Did you get it from a bar?
JACK: You went from a cool subject to a lame subject.
GAVIN: Yeah. I- I remember something- Like- like different potion like- let’s make potions-
GUS: Let’s see-
JACK: Yeah, alcohol! Drinking! And the Sims.
GUS: looking at you, I always get super frustrated. How is it you always manage to put your
headphones in backwards?
GAVIN: They comf- it’s more comfortable this way!
GUS: You intentionally put them on backwards?
GAVIN: Y-
BURNIE: Let me take a picture.
JACK: It…
GAVIN: They l-look the same!
GUS: No they don’t, that’s how I can- that’s how I can tell that they’re on backwards. D-D-Do you consciously put them on backwards? Or do you just pick them up and put them on however?
GAVIN: I pick them up and put them on the way that it’s comfortable.
-------
JACK: So you hold your pants up with your own hand any your willy with the other?
GUS: Willy.
GAVIN: That’s not the ho-
GUS: You just say knob.
JACK: Knob.
GAVIN: I’m not holding onto my pants, I’m holding them down.
BURNIE: You’re holding them-
GUS: What?
JACK: Are they trying to get up to your nose or something?
GAVIN: Well no, if I’m- if I’m pushing down-
GUS: He’s thinking- he’s thinking of his underwear and the elastic band.
JACK: Oh.
GAVIN: If I flip themin one go, and then th- John Thomas goes over the top. If I let go, with the left hand, it would flip my John Thomas like, up towards my face.
JACK: Here’s the deal, like if I’m at a urinal, I don’t even have to use my hands at that point
‘cause there’s- everything’s being held in place.
GAVIN: Well you’re tr you’re trousers’ around your ankles, and you just go WHOOLOOLOO.
GUS: No he’s-
JOEL: No no, it’s just the fly, it’s just the fly! You f- I actually had video of that.
BURNIE: You still- you still- my point is you still don’t need two hands for this.
JACK: No, no.
BURNIE: You can use your free hand to like- if somebody kicks you c-
GUS: You gotta use your free hands for defense.
GAVIN: I’ve gone around 24 years without being kicked in the anus while I’m taking a piss.
GUS: Well you haven’t lived my friend.
BURNIE: Tha-that-that’s like-
JACK: You haven’t been around Burnie very long.
BURNIE: It’s like- Gavin, it’s like you need two hands like you’re wrestling the alligators. With that, you can’t let go.
GUS: It’s like a fireman with the hose, like it’s spraying all over the place like… Can I get some extra hands on this.
BURNIE: I felt r- I felt really bad.
JACK: Man, I’m still blown away. So none of you use the fly?
GUS: MmMmm.
BURNIE: No.
JACK: That is so weird.
BURNIE: No.
JACK: I used to- I’d have-
GAVIN: All those button flies, like who has time to unbutton-
JACK: Okay, button fly- button fly, now tha-that’s a little bit different. But if you have a zipper?
BURNIE: Like on pants?
GUS: Hey d-don’t call us weird, you’re the weird one-
BURNIE: I-
GUS: -you’re the only one that does it!
GAVIN: Also, I rarely use- I rarely pee standing up anymore. I h- I have terrible aim. If I’m at- in a toilet, at uhh-
BURNIE: You should never admit that.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: There’s somethin’ about that, as a guy you gotta stand up.
GAVIN: Nahh, it’s okay.
BURNIE: No, that’s like-
GAVIN: It’s fine.
GUS: You have terrible aim? You can’t hit a urinal, that’s like- a foot in front of you?
GAVIN: I can hit one of those I just can’t hit a toilet.
BURNIE: So-
GUS: You can’t hit a toilet?
GAVIN: I mean I- I- e… I just- I just, y’know- Y’know it’s easier to go-
GUS: N- No I kn-
GAVIN: -sit down-
GUS: No, I know how easy it is. What do you mean you have terrible aim, like you’re pissing all over the floor?
GAVIN: I dunno, sometimes I get spray, and it’s oh I’ve got to wipe that now.
BURNIE: We’re getting into this whole discussion here that we shouldn’t get into.
GUS: Okay.
JACK: So at th- at the office we have a bathroom that has a urinal and a normal toilet in there.
GAVIN: I didn’t notice there was one in there!
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: It was around the corner!
JACK: So I fought for the urinal for the longest time, but anyway that’s a whole other story.
BURNIE: Nobody uses the fucking urinal in that bathroom.
JACK: I tot- I’m the only- I’m the only one who does.
GUS: I do.
BURNIE: I do.
JACK: But like the worst thing ever is like when you go in there to take a number 2, and then there’s piss all over the seat. It’s like, really? Are you fucking kidding me?
BURNIE: Alright.
GUS: Wait, what happened?
JACK: We a- yeah that’s happened!
GUS: I have not encountered that yet.
GAVIN: Dude, these are the tidiest toilets I’ve seen in this office.
JACK: I-It’s like the worst, there’s- like- there’s like- all the- all the liquid all around the base of the toilet, it’s like g- there’s a urinal five feet away! You can’t just like wa- walk around the little wall and use that?
GAVIN: Nope!
GUS: Maybe we should put a sign up-
JACK: Like a peeing floor.
GUS: - that says urinal around the corner so that people knows.
GAVIN: There’s just like a- a track on the floor like a red line.
GUS: Yeah.
GAVIN: Or a yellow line rather.
GUS: We should-
BURNIE: That at orientation.
GUS: It’s got like the male symbol. Like the gender symbol on it?
JACK: Yeah, huh.
GUS: Over there.
GAVIN: And the arrow just points.
GUS: Yeah.
GAVIN: Over there.
JACK: yeah, that’s- that’s- that’s the restroom you can always find the empty toilet rolls on.
GAVIN: So I was uhh…
JACK: no one change the damn toilet… toilet paper.
GAVIN: I was thinking about something recently, when I was playing Minecraft, where I was
playing Minecraft and I built- I mined for about ten hours and I built a house out of iron blocks, and it looked really cool. Had a gold floor, and a diamond ceiling. And then I lost it. I went exploring and I couldn’t find my way back. Do you think there was ever a time, like in pre-maps and stuff where people would build a house and go off, and then get so lost that they had to live where they were?
BURNIE: …Yes.
GAVIN: Based on not finding your house. I literally, I have no way of getting’ back, I’m just gonna live here now.
BURNIE: Well I think people are just nomads. Right? That the-
GUS: But they would-
BURNIE: -they range so far.
GUS: -have built a house.
BURNIE: Well they have like a cave. They have like a domicile, and then they walked away and just found a new cave.
GUS: Yeah but, did they do it unplanned?
BURNIE: I’m sure it happened to somebody!
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: I mean it happened to you.
GAVIN: Happened to me. In Minecraft.
BURNIE: In th- in the same kind of environment.
GUS: But someone that stupid wouldnt’ve been able to survive back then.
GAVIN: Why are you pointing at me?
GUS: Because you’re an idiot.
BURNIE: There’s gotta be some modern day equivalent to that, like uhmm…
GUS: Like you get off- like you miss your exit on the freeway, you’re like, “Well, I live in
Dallas now!”
BURNIE: but it’s one of those things too like, Gus, you’re probably this way. Gus you’ll die and you- ‘cause you’re gonna- you’re gonna die like… one day.
GUS: That’s sad.
BURNIE: No it’s literally like, I’ll come in one day and it’s like, “Did you hear Gus died?” and it\d be like,” Awhh that’s terrible!” and it-it- the Thursday.
GAVIN: Awhhhh, terrible!
BURNIE: It would be like next Thursday.
GUS: You’re gonna- you’re gonna out live me?
BURNIE: You- I’ll outlive you. Right? I have to.
GAVIN: You said you were retiring with a shotgun at age 40.
GUS: Yeah. That’s true.
BURNIE: I’m like what, I’m like five fifty- five years older than you?
GUS: Somethin’ like that.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GUS: Uhhh yeah.
BURNIE: Yeah. Yeah, that’s crazy.
GAVIN: You’re not gonna do that anymore are you Gus?
GUS: Yeah, we’ll see.
GAVIN: I knew you wouldn’t.
BURNIE: But yo- you’re the kind of guy too where you’re so secretive? You’re gonna have shit hidden away that nobody’s gonna know about, because you haven’t told anybody.
GUS: Hmm.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: And then you’re gonna die, and it’s- that’s gonna be long lost.
GUS: It’d be- it’d be treasure.
GAVIN: I think Gus-
GUS: That’s a lot different from moving and lo- losing your house.
BURNIE: or paying someone t-
GAVIN: I think Gus owns a secret business. I think you own… You own a business somewhere that we don’t know about.
GUS: What.
BURNIE: What d’you think he owns?
GUS: What’s my secret business?
GAVIN: I dunno. Maybe a carwash or something.
GUS: A car wash. You’ve been watching too much Breaking Bad.
BURNIE: Hey don’t- s- I- I specifically did not watch this week’s episode of Breaking Bad.
JACK: Why not?
BURNIE: Because we- next week we go to the Alamo! Oh I got tickets by the way.
JACK: Oh.
BURNIE: I got- I got tickets for Sunday, for the-
GAVIN: I’mma watch every two weeks as well.
JACK: Ohhhh.
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: Auuhhhh. I can’t wait to weeks, I have to watch it- I watch it when it airs.
GAVIN: Really?
JACK: It’s so good.
BURNIE: I think we have mentioned this before, but we- there’s some TV shows that we watch at the Alamo, and because they serve food, they need more time? So what they do is they show two episodes. They show the previous week’s episode, and then they show the newest week’s episode.
GAVIN: I’ve gotta say, I wish that guy wasn’t there.
BURNIE: Oh don’t say that. He might actually listen to this.
GAVIN: I love that guy.
BURNIE: Somebody’s gotta get up and vamp. The f- There’s a guy that gets up and vamps
between the uhh the shows and during the commercial breaks, and the everybody ridicules him, because he makes jokes.
GUS: How awful.
BURNIE: But you have to admit, he does know a lot about the show.
JACK: He does.
BURNIE: Like I never picked up on the fact that the kid is always eating breakfast.
JACK: Oh really? That’s- that’s a big internet thing.
BURNIE: Is it?
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: Oh, I- I didn’t notice that either.
JACK: Yeah he’s always eating breakfast.
GAVIN: When he finished a bowl of cereal.
GUS: Like in season one you occasionally saw him… at school or somewhere else e-e- but besides that he’s always at that fucking table.
JACK: Season 1, they had that great scene where they’re- he’s trying on pants?
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: With his mom and his dad and then the kid comes in and starts making fun of him, and then Walt leaves out the back? And this guy- this guy- this guy’s all like, “What the- Walt!” and then he leaves, and he comes around through the front door and beats the shit out of those kids?
BURNIE: Mmhmm?
JACK: That’s a great fucking scene. I love that show.
GAVIN: He doesn’t do anything there other than just stand on the guy’s leg.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: And then like, just keep stampin’ on his leg.
JACK: Euhh. It’s gotta hurt like hell though.
GUS: He was trying to hold his pants up, so he couldn’t defend himself.
JACK: See if he had his fly, then both hands free.
GAVIN: It’s true.
GUS: Uh, I’m gonna read this for a second.
BURNIE: See, two hands free’s too much.
GUS: Uhm.
BURNIE: There’s- there’s a compromise here. Gotta find a middle ground.
GUS: This episode of Rooster Teeth Podcast is brought to you by Hover.com. Hover provides simple clean domain, e-mail management tools. All domain names come with Who is privacy, that way your personal information isn’t publically available, unlimited domain forwardy, and advanced DNS management. Hover only suggests services and products that feel- that they feel that will be helpful to your domain or experience. Hover doesn’t do hosting, but they know a few really great companies that do. Hover now offers 25 top level domains, including the popular ones like .com, .net uhh some country specific ones, and some of the new TLDs like .pro, dot triple x, and .tv. And they have a no hold policy for customer service calls Monday thru Friday, 9am to 8pm Eastern. So when you call, you’ll get a live person, and they won’t put you on hold. So visit Hover today, at Hover.com/roosterteeth. If you need a domain, use offer code “roosterteeth” to get 10% off, that’s Hover.com/roosterteeth. We thank Hover.com for their support.
GAVIN: Are you saying Hover?
GUS: Hover. H-O-V-E-R.
GAVIN: Hover.
GUS: Like a Hovercraft?
JACK: Hovah!
GAVIN: You’re saying “Huvah” though, like a U.
GUS: Hover.
BURNIE: Hover.
GUS: Hover.
BURNIE: How do you say it?
GAVIN: “Hauver”.
BURNIE: “Hauver”?
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: H- You say “Hauvercraft”?
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: I say “Huver.”
GUS: Hover.
GAVIN: There’s no U in it though.
BURNIE: Okay. It j- w-w-we- Gavin? FYI, we pronounce things differently sometimes.
GAVIN: That’s just it.
GUS: So for our British listeners go to “Hauver”.com/”rausterteeth”.
JACK: It’s-it’s… Yeah, it’s spelt like “Hover” though.
BURNIE: Okay, so, when I kicked you in the butt in the asshole, as you love to say, and you
banged your John Thomas on the metal sheet on this disgusting urinal wall- dammit I said the word. SO you say urinal.
JACK: UrAINal.
GAVIN: “Urainal”.
BURNIE: You say “urainal”. Do you say, urain?
GAVIN: So people do. I don’t.
BURNIE: Really?
GAVIN: Mmhmm.
BURNIE: That’s th-th- that’s- that’s one of- that kind of set me back. I’ve given up on like pr- do you know, practicing my shitty fake-
GAVIN: Well some some words when you- when you put… the uhh suffix at the end, you change the way you say the first bit.
BURNIE: I- Okay.
GAVIN: I-I-In the American language too.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: I can’t think of any but there are.
BURNIE: The- there was one I just saw uhhh…
JACK: I have no examples but it’s true.
BURNIE: Okay. Since we’re talking about TV shows, I thought about that, and it was actually a point of discussion in a recent episode of Louie. Is anybody watching season 3 of Louie?
GUS: Yes.
JACK: I’m n- not yet.
BURNIE: Okay, what do you think about season 3 of Louie?
GUS: I thought it started… I did not like the first two or three episodes.
BURNIE: I’m with you 100%.
GUS: They were- they were really rough, but I feel like they turned it around- H-Have you seen all the season’s episodes?
BURNIE: You’re- I know what you’re gonna say. When Parker Posie showed up.
GUS: I was gonna say Miami. I liked the Miami episode.
BURNIE: Oh yeah yeah yeah. Okay, I agree with you, yeah. That is where it turned around.
GUS: Miami turned it around, and now the Parker Posie thing’s going- going good.
BURNIE: That first episode and that second episode-
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: -were fuckin’ weird.
GUS: It was- it was- it was cringe-worthy. Like e-e- from the start it was different where- I don’t know if it was something about him doing the stand up before the… the intro, like sometimes he’s had intros like that before but it just had a different vibe from the very beginning.
BURNIE: Yeah his stand-up was always a part of it.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: You know Seinfeld used to do that too.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: I don’t know if people would remember that.
Gus: Like the first… two or three seasons.
BURNIE: They were severely criticized for that as well.
GUS: Mmhmm.
BURNIE: But h- I think the weird thing about this season is with Louie, uhh th-those of you who don’t know, uhh, Louie CK makes a show for FX?
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: It’s Louie, and the first two seasons are fuckin’ amazing. They’re some of the best
television I’ve ever seen, and he writes it, directs it, and edits it, and he’s in it.
GAVIN: Wow.
BURNIE: Uhmm, and uhhh, yeah it’s like apparently he made the first season for nothing like… fuck you, I’ll make it, I’ll give it to you, you can’t tell me what can be in it, and basically they just charged him, er p- paid him the bare minimum, just to get it on the air, and he kept like a lot of the rights to it.
GUS: Mmhmm.
BURNIE: And a lot of the creative control, and it shows in the show, ‘cause it’s very much his voice. Uhhmm… Anyway, uhm this season, he’s showing other people’s stand-up as well. Which I found was weird.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: There’s the old guy, and that woman, that quirky woman.
GUS: Yeah, tha-tha- that woman… I was- I was not a fan of.
BURNIE: There’s a hard scene with her too.
GUS: Yeah, that was- that was a pretty hard scene.
JACK: Th-The second season had some great episodes. The Doug Stanhope episode was amazing.
GUS: This episode of Rooster Teeth Podcast is brought to you by Hover.com. Hover is domain name registration and management that’s simple. For 10% off of your new domain, go to Hover.com/roosterteeth and enter show code “roosterteeth”… Eat that. I’m trying to read an ad here.
BURNIE: I’m so-I-I-
GUS: THIS PODCAST IS ALSO BROUGHT TO YOU BY TWITCH.TV, the world’s largest
videogame broadcasting and chat community. J-Jesus!
BURNIE: It’s food on its own dude!
GUS: Join the community, chat with your friends, start broadcasting your gameplay, and connect with a whole universe of gaming fanatics at Twitch.tv.
[Intro Song]
GUS: Probably the most used soundbite in all of our theme song entries.
BURNIE: What’s that?
GAVIN: “Go with the theme song”.
JACK: Go with the theme song!
GUS: Oh, that and the “RT-“
BURNIE: RT Podcast theme song!
GAVIN: I like the plinky plunky Seinfeld guitar thing they’ve got going on there.
JACK: That was definitely the Casio keyboard with the demo button.
BURNIE: Those back in the days when- am I- can you guys hear me okay?
GUS: Yeah. You’re uhh, this is you I think.
BURNIE: Pardon us everyone while we have a technical moment- ohh that feels so much better.
GUS: That sound better?
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: CRICKET.
GUS: Okay.
BURNIE: So we actually wear headphones when we record the podcast so we can hear
ourselves through our headphones.
GUS: So we can hear how terrible we are.
BURNIE: Some people it seems like don’t listen to themselves. I-I’m just gonna guess Joel never listens to himself.
GUS: Normally it’s a good thing because it helps prevent you from talking over people constantly. Joel always has his headphones on in one ear, so he must be deaf in the ear that the headphone is on, ‘cause that motherfucker will talk over anyone.
BURNIE: Well that defeats the whole goddamn purpose of the headphones. The headphones are for isolation so that you can hear other people when they’re talking.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: Tha- That’s the whole point.
GUS: And… Huhhh, th-that guy, he talks over people so frequently. In one of the recent Animated Adventures the hotdog quotes? Uhh…
BURNIE: What the fuck?
GUS: I-I-I’m trying to-y’know, my- I’m giving lines in the- in the animated adventure and you can hear Joel in the background trying to talk over me.
BURNIE: And poor, poor Jordan who makes the Animated Adventure has t-
GAVIN: Has to cut around that.
BURNIE: -and Joel’s out-
GUS: Ahh, this- this week’s animated adventure, I don’t know if you guys’ve seen it yet, is the uhh “My Blue Eyes!” the- the story Miles told about the uhhh playing cards?
BURNIE: God, I could not- I have not seen that.
GUS: I’ll- I’ll show it to you guys when we’re done here.
GAVIN: I like the one last week of the pilot. Thought it was funny.
JACK: Yeah the goat sitting next to Geoff was pretty good.
BURNIE: Ba-
GAVIN: I’m the-
JACK: And Gavin is the retarded -
GAVIN: -dumb co-pilot. Thanks Jordan.
BURNIE: I like how you make your way into a uhh uhh RTAA that you’re not even in the
discussion at all, are you?
GUS: No.
GAVIN: No I’m just there.
BURNIE: You just like-
GUS: Well we needed like-
GAVIN: I’m just a character.
GUS: -a stupid character.
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: You just get screen time regardless.
GAVIN: Yeah.
JACK: Gavin represents dumb.
GUS: J-Jordan didn’t want to have to draw another character, so he re-used-
GAVIN: Re-used his assets.
GUS: -re-used an asset.
BURNIE: So, Blawndee and I, Barbara- can we still call Barb, Blawndee?
GAVIN: I haven’t called her Blawndee in a long time.
JACK: She officially changed on the site right? So I don’t s- I don’t know if you can anymore.
BURNIE: You haven’t heard--her Twitter account is “Blawndee”.
JACK: So it’s @Blawndee.
BURNIE: Yeah. I wonder if at any point she was “blondie” spelt normally. B-L-O-N-D-I-E.
GUS: or that- maybe that was constantly like taken on the internet so she had to settle?
BURNIE: It makes sense.
GUS: I-I rewatched the Good the Bad and the Ugly this past weekend.
BURNIE: It’s fuckin’ great.
GUS: And uhh-
GAVIN: Never seen it.
GUS: Two girls always call the Clint Eastwood character “Blondie”-
BURNIE: Yeah.
GUS: -throughout the movie? It was really disconcerning. ‘Cause I think of Barbara the entire time.
BURNIE: So Ga-
GUS: “BLONDIE DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! BLONDIE!”
BURNIE: My only hope is that FinchLynch will hear you say that, and he will edit together
something where he replaces Clint Eastwood-
GUS: With Barbara?
BURNIE: -with Barbara in everything. Barbara in a poncho.
JACK: Alright, so what were you saying, Burns?
BURNIE: So w- last night we were hanging out on Google Plus w- literally hanging out, we were doing a “Hangout”.
JACK: Nice.
BURNIE: I can’t say literally “hanging out” because it sounds weird.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: It sounds a little weird.
JACK: That’s a- that’s a-
GAVIN: It started- it started with a cool- it had all these cool features but then they name them in ways where I don’t want to use ‘em.
BURNIE: Like “Hangouts”?
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: Yeah. I don’t do a “hhhangout” online.
GUS: “Hhhhangout”, what are you, me? You talking like me or…?
BURNIE: Hhhhey man! Whhant ta hhhhhangout?
JACK: Hhhhhhh!
GAVIN: How’s it going lads.
JACK: Hhhhhhh!
BURNIE: but uhh, it’s one of the things you can do is when you’re “hhhhanging out” you can
embed a YouTube video uhh into the “hhhangout” and play it for everyone else, and th- And
everyone- it’s cool because it syncs it like, and if somebody else pauses it, then it pauses there.
GAVIN: Sounds like the worst thing in the world.
BURNIE: Well i- if you- s- supposedly err, theoretically you know people who are in the hangout with you.
GAVIN: Right.
JACK: Yeah, “hhhangout”.
BURNIE: But I think you can only have 12 people in a hangout.
GUS: You know we have very similar functionality on Rooster Teeth and we don’t have that
bullshit 12 person limit.
BURNIE: And you can play video.
GAVIN: Sponsor Chat right?
BURNIE: Well, not everyone can play video, we can play a video.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: We can-
JACK: Well that seems better. Perfect.
GUS: Perfect, I don’t see the problem!
BURNIE: It does a cool thing though, when you’re playing a video, in that it mutes everybody, and you have to push a button to talk. So at that point you then have to be an asshole…
GAVIN: That’s pretty cool.
BURNIE: … to t- talk over the video.
GAVIN: Oh, might start using these.
BURNIE: But we were- uh we did something where, we embed videos, and so I tested it by
playing the one and only banned RTAA video. ‘Cause I-
GUS: Ooohhhh.
BURNIE: -had it on my laptop. So I played that.
GAVIN: oh so it’s like the exclusive screening?
BURNIE: Well yeah. Well it was only me and Barb, and uh a guy named Trevor, he’s on the site. Do you guys know Trevor?
GAVIN: So you uhh-
GUS: I don’t think so.
GAVIN: -you were hanging out with just Barbara and some bloke called Trevor?
BURNIE: Yeah. Pretty much.
GAVIN: Wow.
GUS: Oh wow, sounds like a wild time.
GAVIN: Whoo!
BURNIE: We were testing functionality! Come on!
JACK: Is that what you call it?
BURNIE: That’s what you call it online.
GUS: I-I-It went from earlier hanging out and having fun to testing functionality, I see the backpeddle happening. Like whoa whoa whoa hey hey hey we were just- nothing, it was work.
BURNIE: It’s all good. It’s all good. He’s from Canada, it’s all okay. It-It’s not gay if he’s from
Canada. Men up there like women anyway. Actually that’s more like you.
JACK: So it’s well known there is a banned RTAA?
BURNIE: No it’s why I brought it up. Th-There’s one Rooster Teeth Animated Adventure that did not make the cut.
GUS: Yeah we talked about it at the uhhh RTX-
JACK: Not because of their quality-
GUS: -RTX Panel.
JACK: -Not because of quality, but, because of content.
GUS: Because of butthurt.
BURNIE: He just- the raw anger that somebody had. Ohh. But that happens y’know? We- we give people- the point is, on the podcast we don’t want to censor ourselves.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: In when we talk because we want to be able to talk freely, and so the way that we
approach the production of the podcast is that so you can say anything, but if you say
something, you realize that later it may be extremely damaging to your life, you can go back and ask Lindsay to remove it before it gets put out-
GUS: Yes.
BURNIE: -And then she forgets- forgets.
JACK: Say unless you’re me, then…
BURNIE: And-
JACK: It’s comin’ out anyway.
GUS: Th- That doesn’t damage anyone.
BURNIE: And then you’re-
JACK: Fuck you!
BURNIE: Then you’re living in a new apartment by the freeway.
GAVIN: H-Have you ever used that?
BURNIE: What?
GAVIN: That card? The uhh, remove a bit?
BURNIE: Uh I have used it in a s- in a- in a like a business sense.
GAVIN: Ahh.
BURNIE: Where I thought I said something about something that I shouldn’t be saying.
JACK: Yeah we’ve talked about games before.
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: And stuff, and it’s like one of those things likes- I’m not sure if that’s public yet, and so.
GUS: Yeah, like a couple weeks ago we talked about SFM on the podcast, and we weren’t sure if we said anything we shouldn’t have so we cleared it-
GAVIN: Right.
GUS: -to make sure that it was all public- stuff that was publically known.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: I-I did it recently didn’t I? When you played that clip of me on the desk at Disneyland. At that hotel.
JACK: What?
GUS: Yeah, you did, but no one’s gonna remember that! You only- you only brought that up to me directly you moron.
GAVIN: Oh yeah.
GUS: You didn’t bring it up to anyone else! I know what you’re talking ‘bout, ‘cause it got cut. They have no idea what you’re talking about.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: He played the clip now didn’t he?
GUS: BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW IT GOT CUT!
GAVIN: OH.
BURNIE: I don’t know what you’re talking about!
JACK: Wait what?
GAVIN: I- when I- when I was drunk at Vidcon, and you played that audio clip I was like no- euhh. Get rid of it.
BURNIE: Did you really?
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: You’re such a baby too, ‘cause you record everybody doing everything and then y-
GAVIN: Yeah I- but I don’t put them on the internet now do I? It’s for my own private-
JACK: What’s on your phone, if that phone ever hits the internet.
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: Good god.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: There’s nothing on that phone.
GUS: Yeah, th-
JACK: That’s a lie.
GAVIN: I j- I- I clear it regularly, it’s on my Mac.
BURNIE: Bull. Shit. Look at your photo library, how many photos do you have in your photo library right now?
GAVIN: Ph-Photo library, I have every photo I’ve ever taken.
BURNIE: Well there you go!
JACK: What, this is what we’re talking about!
GUS: All your videos!
GAVIN: WE WERE TALKING ‘BOUT VIDEOS!
GUS: The videos are in there too you idiot!
GAVIN: No there’s no videos in there.
BURNIE: Gavin, Gavin has a phone-
GUS: L-Let me loo-
BURNIE: -on the front at all times.
GUS: You tell me there’s no video in your photo library.
GAVIN: There’s not- there’s videos in the Camera Roll. Is that what you’re talking about?
JACK: I-It’s the-!
GUS: That’s what I’m fucking talking about!
JACK: It’s the same thing!
BURNIE: What are you- what are you talking about?
GAVIN: I’ve got two things. One’s Camera Roll, one’s Photo Library, see. One of them is my entire iPhoto library and the other one is the stuff I’ve taken here.
GUS: Right. So we’re saying you have everything on there!
GAVIN: No I delete videos ‘cause I c- ‘cause I fill it up constantly by taking so many videos!
BURNIE: So, you move your videos to your iPhoto Library on your computer but you keep your photos on there. Photos are just as fucking damning!
GAVIN: Nah.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: Every time you see one of those uhh what those tabloid sites…
JACK: May- Maybe more so, there’s no context with photos. It’s just a single still.
GUS: Photoshop.
JACK: A-Atleast a video you get some context.
GUS: Photoshop.
BURNIE: There you go, exactly. Photoshop. Text edit. Everythings a lie. What is the most d- have you ever taken a photo that you think would be utterly damning?
GUS: Taken a photo, or been the subject of a photo?
BURNIE: Well… Let me think about this.
GUS: Uhh…
BURNIE: I got really drunk one time, let me tell you a good story.
GAVIN: The fulcrum story?
BURNIE: The fulcrum story.
GAVIN: I didn’t take any pictures that night.
BURNIE: I got so-
JACK: I got some photos from that night.
BURNIE: You do?
JACK: Yeah, I got a photo of you on my profile from that night.
BURNIE: You’re a fuckin’ douche. Two photos that night-
JACK: I don’t think I have any photos of you…
BURNIE: This is th- the fulcrum night, people have asked about the fulcrum, because it was one of the characters in the-
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: -episode 50 of the RTAA? One time Gus had a party at his house, and that’s a rare thing to begin with.
GUS: Th-The one and only time.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: There’s no point in describing like that, you can just refer to it as “The Party”.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: ‘Cause it’s the only party where anything happened.
BURNIE: Right. Like what- do you really think that’s true?
GAVIN: It was mental! It was mental night!
BURNIE: So I showed up at that party and e- every now and then I will do this where I decide I’m gonna get drunk.
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: And I, that’s my goal for the evening is to get drunk.
GAVIN: Hide your keys.
BURNIE: Hide my keys, hide my-
JACK: Your plan was to get drunk early, and then sober up at the party. That’s what you told me when I walked in.
BURNIE: Ohh! That makes sense.
GAVIN: I thought your plan was to get drunk earlier-
JACK: You were like-
GUS: That makes- that’s like Dr-Drunk Burnie logic.
JACK: I’m gonna get hammered, but I’m gonna stay here and g- sober up, and then I’m gonna go-
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: -home.
BURNIE: And then I’m gonna go home because I’ll be sober by that point.
GAVIN: I thought your plan was to get super drunk earlier and bring me down crashing and
burning with you.
GUS: I thought your plan was to get so drunk you came back around as sober.
BURNIE: You wh- You wanna, you wanna- is at that drunk level where you’re like, “I live here
now. “
JACK: Yep.
BURNIE: “This is- this is my house.”
JACK: This is mine.
BURNIE: But I- so… That was… I wonder how that party would’ve gone if I hadn’t showed up… and done that, like literally walked in…
GAVIN: Well I would’ve been fine the next day.
BURNIE: I walked right into the middle of the kitchen where everyone was just having a normal… social chit-chat and I s- did I put-put it on the table? A bottle of-
GUS: A bottle of Tequila.
GAVIN: -Tequila, yeah. And a- a load of shot glasses.
BURNIE: And I said-
GUS: And a lime.
GAVIN: And a lime.
BURNIE: And I said, “We’re getting drunk.” And that was at like about 7:30, I think? And it was like immediately…
GAVIN: And then cuts later that night where I’m in a leather jacket with a pink feather boa riding Burnie around like a bull.
JACK: And I think I-I have that photo.
GAVIN: Please. God.
GUS: God.
BURNIE: Oh God no!
GUS: So, s-
BURNIE: Oh GOD NO!
GUS: It’s come back full circle. There’s th-th-the damning photo.
BURNIE: Ohhhh yeah see-
JACK: Yeah it’s just a photo of Gavin. I-I had a photo of Gavin wearing a leather jacket and a pink feather boa.
GAVIN: Oh, well then that’s half the story now isn’t it?
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: So Gus h-
JACK: It’s not terribly damning.
BURNIE: Gus had an outdoor porch, and I got so drunk that I was literally on the ground for about thirty minutes out there… and we-
GUS: You were happy!
BURNIE: I was- I was happy. The ground was my friend. And uhh, Gus came out and he saw people partygoers taking pictures of me on the ground? And he went around and took
everybody’s phone and said, “Delete those photos, let me see you delete them.”
GAVIN: You’re a good friend.
GUS: Yeah!
BURNIE: That- that right there-
GAVIN: You did not do that for me though.
BURNIE: That. Right there-
GUS: I did not do that for you as- that is why the fact that that photo’s there.
BURNIE: I love how the photo’s blurry.
GUS: It’s like a picture of a sasquatch or something, like you kind of know what’s going on over there.
GAVIN: It looks like some audition for some model shoot, that I- I didn’t get the job.
GUS: Yeah, I- a model shoot.
BURNIE: Th- That is the saddest boa ever. It looks like a pink rat tail. It looks like something you win at a carnival.
JACK: And that’s a woman’s jacket too right?
BURNIE: Well it’s Gavin.
GAVIN: Do you work here? Did you write vagina on the bottom there?
JACK: No I uhh I wrote uhh, yeah, vagino.
BURNIE: Vagino.
JACK: It’s like Vagino, Gavino.
GUS: one of- one of- of Gav’s many great nicknames.
GAVIN: Yeah. That was uhhh, Jason, used to call me “Vagino” a lot.
JACK: I don’t think- are you not wearing shoes? Or is that like a thick sock you’re wearing?
GAVIN: Who- who knows. Who knows. Who needs shoes on a night like that.
BURNIE: I was- I was so worried i- I had like a weird thing. You know how you get that feeling when you wake up the next day after I’m massive drunk, and you have this hollow, shame-
GAVIN: I do know that, yeah!
BURNIE: -that shameful feeling of like, “Uhhhhgg, what did I do?” Like… I r- I ruined everything in my life last night. So I actually went back to your house? ‘Cause I had this weird feeling that I had ruined your screened in porch.
GUS: I-I know because l-l- the next day I was sitting there watching TV, and uh I saw movement like outside my- l- window on the side of my house, and I looked and I was like,” Hey, Burnie’s there!” It was you ‘n- you and your son were walking down, you were like looking over the fence and in my backyard, I was like,” What the fuck’s he doing?”
BURNIE: I was making sure I hadn’t messed up your por-
GAVIN: Well you just knock on the door and say-
GUS: No, he didn’t say anything.
BURNIE: No.
GUS: He just like came in the alley next to my house, like looked in my backyard and then took off.
BURNIE: I did.
GAVIN: You didn’t even say hi?
JACK: That’s not creepy at all.
GAVIN: That’s really weird.
JACK: That’s not- that’s not creepy at all.
BURNIE: I didn’t want to wake him up!
GAVIN: Well it’d be if you didn’t know the guy, then yeah.
GUS: It was like 2PM!
BURNIE: It’s Gus! I didn’t look in your bedroom window or anything, did I?
GUS: I don’t know, I wasn’t in the bedroom!
BURNIE: No, I uhh- so I-I think that night Matt drove me home… Where’s I, I don’t even know where I ended up that night. I really don’t remember, I think Matt drove me home, and then I was driven back to pick up a uhh my car, and then I just like went and looked, and made sure I didn’t destroy the uhh the screened in porch.
GUS: Hm.
BURINE: So. Anyway, so that was- that was a night where I loved Gus because Gus deleted photos of me. And I remember that he did that. That’s like the only thing I remember him doing.
GUS: Yeah I don’t know how you were that drunk, on the floor, loving it, b-but you still remember I deleted photos.
BURNIE: That might- I- a –u- a- back in college I used to get that drunk, but I don’t think I’ve been that drunk in a long time. I was annoying and sloppy, and thank god. Here’s a great strategy: If you’re gonna get sloppy drunk, the best thing to do is get everyone else equally as drunk.
JACK: Yeah, that’s a g-
GAVIN: Well ‘cause you got me more drunk than you, I’m so much lighter.
GUS: Well, when someone else is drunker, then you’re not the drunkest person, everyone’s not paying attention to you.
GAVIN: Yeah.
GUS: You’re like,” Look at that guy, that guy’s even drunker than I am!”
JACK: Yeah.
GUS: It’s like a deflection.
BURNIE: I thin- I have a theory that everybody is a certain kind of drunk. Some people are angry drunks. You get rid of them pretty quickly in your life.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: Uhmmm…
JACK: A-Angry drunks are the worst.
BURNIE: They are the worst.
GUS: Do you- do you think getting drunk off of different liquor affects you’re- the type of drunk you are, differently?
BURNIE: I don’t know.
GAVIN: That would- that’d be cool.
JACK: I would think so.
BURNIE: I don’t think so.
GAVIN: if you could drink certain things to have different outcomes.
GUS: Mm.
GAVIN: It’s like when you- what’s that stuff you could do in the Sims, where if you took it you
became different in some way.
GUS: …Great story.
BURINE: That was a good explanation though.
GUS: Yeah yeah.
BURNIE: We can all picture this thing.
GAVIN: What was that thing, it’s like different coloured…
BURINE: Did you get it from a bar?
JACK: You went from a cool subject to a lame subject.
GAVIN: Yeah. I- I remember something- Like- like different potion like- let’s make potions-
GUS: Let’s see-
JACK: Yeah, alcohol! Drinking! And the Sims.
GUS: looking at you, I always get super frustrated. How is it you always manage to put your
headphones in backwards?
GAVIN: They comf- it’s more comfortable this way!
GUS: You intentionally put them on backwards?
GAVIN: Y-
BURNIE: Let me take a picture.
JACK: It…
GAVIN: They l-look the same!
GUS: No they don’t, that’s how I can- that’s how I can tell that they’re on backwards. D-D-Do you consciously put them on backwards? Or do you just pick them up and put them on however?
GAVIN: I pick them up and put them on the way that it’s comfortable.
-------
JACK: So you hold your pants up with your own hand any your willy with the other?
GUS: Willy.
GAVIN: That’s not the ho-
GUS: You just say knob.
JACK: Knob.
GAVIN: I’m not holding onto my pants, I’m holding them down.
BURNIE: You’re holding them-
GUS: What?
JACK: Are they trying to get up to your nose or something?
GAVIN: Well no, if I’m- if I’m pushing down-
GUS: He’s thinking- he’s thinking of his underwear and the elastic band.
JACK: Oh.
GAVIN: If I flip themin one go, and then th- John Thomas goes over the top. If I let go, with the left hand, it would flip my John Thomas like, up towards my face.
JACK: Here’s the deal, like if I’m at a urinal, I don’t even have to use my hands at that point
‘cause there’s- everything’s being held in place.
GAVIN: Well you’re tr you’re trousers’ around your ankles, and you just go WHOOLOOLOO.
GUS: No he’s-
JOEL: No no, it’s just the fly, it’s just the fly! You f- I actually had video of that.
BURNIE: You still- you still- my point is you still don’t need two hands for this.
JACK: No, no.
BURNIE: You can use your free hand to like- if somebody kicks you c-
GUS: You gotta use your free hands for defense.
GAVIN: I’ve gone around 24 years without being kicked in the anus while I’m taking a piss.
GUS: Well you haven’t lived my friend.
BURNIE: Tha-that-that’s like-
JACK: You haven’t been around Burnie very long.
BURNIE: It’s like- Gavin, it’s like you need two hands like you’re wrestling the alligators. With that, you can’t let go.
GUS: It’s like a fireman with the hose, like it’s spraying all over the place like… Can I get some extra hands on this.
BURNIE: I felt r- I felt really bad.
JACK: Man, I’m still blown away. So none of you use the fly?
GUS: MmMmm.
BURNIE: No.
JACK: That is so weird.
BURNIE: No.
JACK: I used to- I’d have-
GAVIN: All those button flies, like who has time to unbutton-
JACK: Okay, button fly- button fly, now tha-that’s a little bit different. But if you have a zipper?
BURNIE: Like on pants?
GUS: Hey d-don’t call us weird, you’re the weird one-
BURNIE: I-
GUS: -you’re the only one that does it!
GAVIN: Also, I rarely use- I rarely pee standing up anymore. I h- I have terrible aim. If I’m at- in a toilet, at uhh-
BURNIE: You should never admit that.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: There’s somethin’ about that, as a guy you gotta stand up.
GAVIN: Nahh, it’s okay.
BURNIE: No, that’s like-
GAVIN: It’s fine.
GUS: You have terrible aim? You can’t hit a urinal, that’s like- a foot in front of you?
GAVIN: I can hit one of those I just can’t hit a toilet.
BURNIE: So-
GUS: You can’t hit a toilet?
GAVIN: I mean I- I- e… I just- I just, y’know- Y’know it’s easier to go-
GUS: N- No I kn-
GAVIN: -sit down-
GUS: No, I know how easy it is. What do you mean you have terrible aim, like you’re pissing all over the floor?
GAVIN: I dunno, sometimes I get spray, and it’s oh I’ve got to wipe that now.
BURNIE: We’re getting into this whole discussion here that we shouldn’t get into.
GUS: Okay.
JACK: So at th- at the office we have a bathroom that has a urinal and a normal toilet in there.
GAVIN: I didn’t notice there was one in there!
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: It was around the corner!
JACK: So I fought for the urinal for the longest time, but anyway that’s a whole other story.
BURNIE: Nobody uses the fucking urinal in that bathroom.
JACK: I tot- I’m the only- I’m the only one who does.
GUS: I do.
BURNIE: I do.
JACK: But like the worst thing ever is like when you go in there to take a number 2, and then there’s piss all over the seat. It’s like, really? Are you fucking kidding me?
BURNIE: Alright.
GUS: Wait, what happened?
JACK: We a- yeah that’s happened!
GUS: I have not encountered that yet.
GAVIN: Dude, these are the tidiest toilets I’ve seen in this office.
JACK: I-It’s like the worst, there’s- like- there’s like- all the- all the liquid all around the base of the toilet, it’s like g- there’s a urinal five feet away! You can’t just like wa- walk around the little wall and use that?
GAVIN: Nope!
GUS: Maybe we should put a sign up-
JACK: Like a peeing floor.
GUS: - that says urinal around the corner so that people knows.
GAVIN: There’s just like a- a track on the floor like a red line.
GUS: Yeah.
GAVIN: Or a yellow line rather.
GUS: We should-
BURNIE: That at orientation.
GUS: It’s got like the male symbol. Like the gender symbol on it?
JACK: Yeah, huh.
GUS: Over there.
GAVIN: And the arrow just points.
GUS: Yeah.
GAVIN: Over there.
JACK: yeah, that’s- that’s- that’s the restroom you can always find the empty toilet rolls on.
GAVIN: So I was uhh…
JACK: no one change the damn toilet… toilet paper.
GAVIN: I was thinking about something recently, when I was playing Minecraft, where I was
playing Minecraft and I built- I mined for about ten hours and I built a house out of iron blocks, and it looked really cool. Had a gold floor, and a diamond ceiling. And then I lost it. I went exploring and I couldn’t find my way back. Do you think there was ever a time, like in pre-maps and stuff where people would build a house and go off, and then get so lost that they had to live where they were?
BURNIE: …Yes.
GAVIN: Based on not finding your house. I literally, I have no way of getting’ back, I’m just gonna live here now.
BURNIE: Well I think people are just nomads. Right? That the-
GUS: But they would-
BURNIE: -they range so far.
GUS: -have built a house.
BURNIE: Well they have like a cave. They have like a domicile, and then they walked away and just found a new cave.
GUS: Yeah but, did they do it unplanned?
BURNIE: I’m sure it happened to somebody!
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: I mean it happened to you.
GAVIN: Happened to me. In Minecraft.
BURNIE: In th- in the same kind of environment.
GUS: But someone that stupid wouldnt’ve been able to survive back then.
GAVIN: Why are you pointing at me?
GUS: Because you’re an idiot.
BURNIE: There’s gotta be some modern day equivalent to that, like uhmm…
GUS: Like you get off- like you miss your exit on the freeway, you’re like, “Well, I live in
Dallas now!”
BURNIE: but it’s one of those things too like, Gus, you’re probably this way. Gus you’ll die and you- ‘cause you’re gonna- you’re gonna die like… one day.
GUS: That’s sad.
BURNIE: No it’s literally like, I’ll come in one day and it’s like, “Did you hear Gus died?” and it\d be like,” Awhh that’s terrible!” and it-it- the Thursday.
GAVIN: Awhhhh, terrible!
BURNIE: It would be like next Thursday.
GUS: You’re gonna- you’re gonna out live me?
BURNIE: You- I’ll outlive you. Right? I have to.
GAVIN: You said you were retiring with a shotgun at age 40.
GUS: Yeah. That’s true.
BURNIE: I’m like what, I’m like five fifty- five years older than you?
GUS: Somethin’ like that.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GUS: Uhhh yeah.
BURNIE: Yeah. Yeah, that’s crazy.
GAVIN: You’re not gonna do that anymore are you Gus?
GUS: Yeah, we’ll see.
GAVIN: I knew you wouldn’t.
BURNIE: But yo- you’re the kind of guy too where you’re so secretive? You’re gonna have shit hidden away that nobody’s gonna know about, because you haven’t told anybody.
GUS: Hmm.
JACK: Yeah.
BURNIE: And then you’re gonna die, and it’s- that’s gonna be long lost.
GUS: It’d be- it’d be treasure.
GAVIN: I think Gus-
GUS: That’s a lot different from moving and lo- losing your house.
BURNIE: or paying someone t-
GAVIN: I think Gus owns a secret business. I think you own… You own a business somewhere that we don’t know about.
GUS: What.
BURNIE: What d’you think he owns?
GUS: What’s my secret business?
GAVIN: I dunno. Maybe a carwash or something.
GUS: A car wash. You’ve been watching too much Breaking Bad.
BURNIE: Hey don’t- s- I- I specifically did not watch this week’s episode of Breaking Bad.
JACK: Why not?
BURNIE: Because we- next week we go to the Alamo! Oh I got tickets by the way.
JACK: Oh.
BURNIE: I got- I got tickets for Sunday, for the-
GAVIN: I’mma watch every two weeks as well.
JACK: Ohhhh.
BURNIE: Yeah.
JACK: Auuhhhh. I can’t wait to weeks, I have to watch it- I watch it when it airs.
GAVIN: Really?
JACK: It’s so good.
BURNIE: I think we have mentioned this before, but we- there’s some TV shows that we watch at the Alamo, and because they serve food, they need more time? So what they do is they show two episodes. They show the previous week’s episode, and then they show the newest week’s episode.
GAVIN: I’ve gotta say, I wish that guy wasn’t there.
BURNIE: Oh don’t say that. He might actually listen to this.
GAVIN: I love that guy.
BURNIE: Somebody’s gotta get up and vamp. The f- There’s a guy that gets up and vamps
between the uhh the shows and during the commercial breaks, and the everybody ridicules him, because he makes jokes.
GUS: How awful.
BURNIE: But you have to admit, he does know a lot about the show.
JACK: He does.
BURNIE: Like I never picked up on the fact that the kid is always eating breakfast.
JACK: Oh really? That’s- that’s a big internet thing.
BURNIE: Is it?
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: Oh, I- I didn’t notice that either.
JACK: Yeah he’s always eating breakfast.
GAVIN: When he finished a bowl of cereal.
GUS: Like in season one you occasionally saw him… at school or somewhere else e-e- but besides that he’s always at that fucking table.
JACK: Season 1, they had that great scene where they’re- he’s trying on pants?
GUS: Yeah.
JACK: With his mom and his dad and then the kid comes in and starts making fun of him, and then Walt leaves out the back? And this guy- this guy- this guy’s all like, “What the- Walt!” and then he leaves, and he comes around through the front door and beats the shit out of those kids?
BURNIE: Mmhmm?
JACK: That’s a great fucking scene. I love that show.
GAVIN: He doesn’t do anything there other than just stand on the guy’s leg.
JACK: Yeah.
GAVIN: And then like, just keep stampin’ on his leg.
JACK: Euhh. It’s gotta hurt like hell though.
GUS: He was trying to hold his pants up, so he couldn’t defend himself.
JACK: See if he had his fly, then both hands free.
GAVIN: It’s true.
GUS: Uh, I’m gonna read this for a second.
BURNIE: See, two hands free’s too much.
GUS: Uhm.
BURNIE: There’s- there’s a compromise here. Gotta find a middle ground.
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GAVIN: Are you saying Hover?
GUS: Hover. H-O-V-E-R.
GAVIN: Hover.
GUS: Like a Hovercraft?
JACK: Hovah!
GAVIN: You’re saying “Huvah” though, like a U.
GUS: Hover.
BURNIE: Hover.
GUS: Hover.
BURNIE: How do you say it?
GAVIN: “Hauver”.
BURNIE: “Hauver”?
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: H- You say “Hauvercraft”?
GAVIN: Yeah.
BURNIE: I say “Huver.”
GUS: Hover.
GAVIN: There’s no U in it though.
BURNIE: Okay. It j- w-w-we- Gavin? FYI, we pronounce things differently sometimes.
GAVIN: That’s just it.
GUS: So for our British listeners go to “Hauver”.com/”rausterteeth”.
JACK: It’s-it’s… Yeah, it’s spelt like “Hover” though.
BURNIE: Okay, so, when I kicked you in the butt in the asshole, as you love to say, and you
banged your John Thomas on the metal sheet on this disgusting urinal wall- dammit I said the word. SO you say urinal.
JACK: UrAINal.
GAVIN: “Urainal”.
BURNIE: You say “urainal”. Do you say, urain?
GAVIN: So people do. I don’t.
BURNIE: Really?
GAVIN: Mmhmm.
BURNIE: That’s th-th- that’s- that’s one of- that kind of set me back. I’ve given up on like pr- do you know, practicing my shitty fake-
GAVIN: Well some some words when you- when you put… the uhh suffix at the end, you change the way you say the first bit.
BURNIE: I- Okay.
GAVIN: I-I-In the American language too.
BURNIE: Yeah.
GAVIN: I can’t think of any but there are.
BURNIE: The- there was one I just saw uhhh…
JACK: I have no examples but it’s true.
BURNIE: Okay. Since we’re talking about TV shows, I thought about that, and it was actually a point of discussion in a recent episode of Louie. Is anybody watching season 3 of Louie?
GUS: Yes.
JACK: I’m n- not yet.
BURNIE: Okay, what do you think about season 3 of Louie?
GUS: I thought it started… I did not like the first two or three episodes.
BURNIE: I’m with you 100%.
GUS: They were- they were really rough, but I feel like they turned it around- H-Have you seen all the season’s episodes?
BURNIE: You’re- I know what you’re gonna say. When Parker Posie showed up.
GUS: I was gonna say Miami. I liked the Miami episode.
BURNIE: Oh yeah yeah yeah. Okay, I agree with you, yeah. That is where it turned around.
GUS: Miami turned it around, and now the Parker Posie thing’s going- going good.
BURNIE: That first episode and that second episode-
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: -were fuckin’ weird.
GUS: It was- it was- it was cringe-worthy. Like e-e- from the start it was different where- I don’t know if it was something about him doing the stand up before the… the intro, like sometimes he’s had intros like that before but it just had a different vibe from the very beginning.
BURNIE: Yeah his stand-up was always a part of it.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: You know Seinfeld used to do that too.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: I don’t know if people would remember that.
Gus: Like the first… two or three seasons.
BURNIE: They were severely criticized for that as well.
GUS: Mmhmm.
BURNIE: But h- I think the weird thing about this season is with Louie, uhh th-those of you who don’t know, uhh, Louie CK makes a show for FX?
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: It’s Louie, and the first two seasons are fuckin’ amazing. They’re some of the best
television I’ve ever seen, and he writes it, directs it, and edits it, and he’s in it.
GAVIN: Wow.
BURNIE: Uhmm, and uhhh, yeah it’s like apparently he made the first season for nothing like… fuck you, I’ll make it, I’ll give it to you, you can’t tell me what can be in it, and basically they just charged him, er p- paid him the bare minimum, just to get it on the air, and he kept like a lot of the rights to it.
GUS: Mmhmm.
BURNIE: And a lot of the creative control, and it shows in the show, ‘cause it’s very much his voice. Uhhmm… Anyway, uhm this season, he’s showing other people’s stand-up as well. Which I found was weird.
GUS: Yeah.
BURNIE: There’s the old guy, and that woman, that quirky woman.
GUS: Yeah, tha-tha- that woman… I was- I was not a fan of.
BURNIE: There’s a hard scene with her too.
GUS: Yeah, that was- that was a pretty hard scene.
JACK: Th-The second season had some great episodes. The Doug Stanhope episode was amazing.